NFC EAST

Dallas Cowboys

Head Coach: Jason Garrett, The Clapper

2017 Record: A massively inconsistent 9-7

Main Man: Ezekiel Elliott had a tumultuous second season, the Cowboys probably messing up by not getting his suspension out of the way early on, so they’re very much banking on him getting back to rookie form without the distractions now. And also, you know, growing up. With that offensive line though… yeah, nah, scratch that. Their main man is Tyron Smith. They did okay without Elliott, going 3-3. They got absolutely torched in the two games Smith missed, however.

What To Watch For: Typically Dallas’ salary situation is littered with dead money which meant that even with a quarterback and running back on rookie contracts (read: massively underpaid), they still couldn’t do bugger all in free agency. But the Cowboys are usually better when they’re sliding under the radar, which is hard to do for this team. They had a promising draft and keeping DeMarcus Lawrence around, even if it took the franchise tag, was massive for a defence that’s desperate for his pass rush. They’ll hang about.

The Big Question: Tavon Austin could emerge as a great option, but the retirement of Jason Witten and the parting of ways with Dez Bryant has decimated the receiving group, even if Witten was showing his age and Bryant was utterly irrelevant in that scheme (though they still should have thrown a few up for him now and then). Question is, then: Who is Dak supposed to pass to?

Sneaky Pick: Earl Thomas is a Cowboy by the time the season begins.

New York Giants

Head Coach: Pat Shurmur

2017 Record: 3-13

Main Man: Can’t look past the new face of the franchise and one of the most marketable men in the NFL, old mate Odell Beckham Jr. Big new contract for that joker and you know he’s worth it. Only started two games last season, though. Lots of expectation to live up to those dollars, off the field as much as on it.

What To Watch For: Curious that the Giants, who paved the way for getting rid of 37-year-old Eli Manning last season by ingloriously benching him (for Geno Smith!!!), chose not to use the second overall pick on a quarterback, not even by trading down for one after Baker Mayfield went off the board, but instead drafting Saquon Barkley. Sure, they’ve desperately needed a running back for ages… just gotta hope that Eli can get it done for a couple more years now. A much-improved set of skill players around him will help, no doubt.

The Big Question: Saquon Barkley, Odell Beckham and Evan Engram are being talked up by some experts as the best RB/WR/TE trio in the game right now. What do you reckon, Eli?

Sneaky Pick: Sterling Shepard reaps the rewards of that trio above with double digit receiving touchdowns this season.

Philadelphia Eagles

Head Coach: The glorious Doug Pederson

2017 Record: They might have gone 13-3 and they might have won the Super Bowl

Main Man: With Carson Wentz still coming back from his ACL thing and likely to miss week one, there perhaps should be more worries than there really are. But that’s why Doug Pederson is the main man. He won the Super Bowl with his backup QB, going past an all-time effort from the actual GOAT in Tom Brady in that game. Scheme matters. Coaching is very important.

What To Watch For: Bursting into contention and going all the way to the title despite an injury to their emergent franchise quarterback, this Eagles team is young but they’ve already peaked. The last team to repeat as Super Bowl champs was the 2005 Patriots so it’s outrageously tough to do these days, though with Wentz to come back they’ll get better in at least one area. This is a dynasty in the making but watch for the Super Bowl hangover.

The Big Question: Should they have traded Nick Foles? Losing Pat Robinson does some real damage to their secondary and Foles’ value will never be higher. But then having a backup QB capable of leading a team to a championship is priceless. Hmm.

Sneaky Pick: Zach Ertz has at least 90 catches this season. He’s so damn good and we saw in their playoff run that he’s emerged as a go-to option for this offence when they need a play.

**Washington R*dskins**

Head Coach: Jay Gruden

2017 Record: Mostly irrelevant at 7-9

Main Man: Out goes Kirk Cousins, in comes Alex Smith. Jay Gruden will tell you it’s an improvement, as will I… but not by much. Smithy won’t give you the heights of Cousins but he’s more solid and dependable. He’s coming off his finest season yet, with 4042 yards and a 26/5 TD/INT ratio, as well as leading the league in passer rating, but you do need to play to his strengths to unlock him and Washington are lacking in a few areas that Kansas City thrived in (rushing, receiver options, turnovers, etc.).

What To Watch For: Josh Norman is always one for the battle. The cornerback’s in his 30s now so he’ll have to be. The Skins are short on eye-catching talent but they could win a few games if second-round pick Derrius Guice breaks out as a rusher. The last few years there’s been a recurrence of rookie running backs having fine seasons so that’s one to hang the hat on.

The Big Question: Is this division – this conference, even – just too tough for the R*dskins to improve within? Especially with the risk-free Alex Smith. Man, Smithy could win the Super Bowl with the Jaguars but with this lot… doubt they even crack .500.

Sneaky Pick: One area the Skins should be good is their pass rush. Ryan Kerrigan and Preston Smith were great in 2017 and they’ve added good value in rookie Da'Ron Payne at defensive tackle to help free up room for those dudes. Washington top three in sacks this year (would go higher but they play Dallas and Philly twice and those O-Lines are impenetrable).

NFC NORTH

Chicago Bears

Head Coach: Matt Nagy, one of seven new head coaches in 2018

2017 Record: 5-11

Main Man: Jordan Howard’s an extremely useful running back. Even with a non-existent passing offence at times he’s still been a reliable source of yardage. 1313 yards in 2016 and 1122 yards in 2017. As Mitch Trubisky is let off his leash a tad more, Howard should be able to cash in.

What To Watch For: That Trubisky thing. It was almost laughable how much they protected him last time out, sure he was raw but he played a game against the Panthers with only seven pass attempts. Crazy thing is… they won that game. As the season progressed, he was given more freedom (31/46 for 314 yards in a defeat against Detroit, albeit with three picks), and you’d imagine that coming into his second season there’s a natural progression there too.

The Big Question: How patient are they feeling? There’s honestly no rush yet, they’re working this thing fine for the long term and they’re in a difficult division at the moment. But they also just traded for Khalil Mack and gave him huge dollars so… are the Bears trying to ramp it up?

Sneaky Pick: The Bears won the Khalil Mack trade. Those two first-round picks are a huge loss but Oakland just weakened their 2018 chances while the Bears gave themselves a slight chance in a division where the other three teams arguably all have top-10 QBs (I’m not as high on Kirk Cousins as a lot of people but we’ll see how it goes in the upcoming Wildcard’s 2018 QB Rankings).

Detroit Lions

Head Coach: Ex-Pats assistant Matt Patricia

2017 Record: 9-7

Main Man: Matthew Stafford, obviously. But if the Lions can get Ziggy Ansah to put together a full season at the level he’s capable of then things will look good. Ziggy’s got every reason to do so, he’s stuck on the franchise tag so he’s playing for a contract.

What To Watch For: The Lions spent their first couple draft picks on improving their ground game (a guard and a tailback) so if that all pays off then we’ll see some balance to a team that already has Matty Staffy as one of the game’s most ruthless comeback artists. Last couple years have shown a real improvement in Stafford’s throwing from in the pocket, you get the feeling they might be more aggressive now that there’s that base to launch from.

The Big Question: The Lions did not have a 100 yard rusher in a single game last season. They haven’t had one since Reggie Bush on Thanksgiving in 2013. 68 games and counting. Will they break the record of 72, set by Washington in the 1960s, or can Kerryon Johnson snap the streak?

Sneaky Pick: The Lions were unlucky not to make the playoffs last season, missing out by a game and my mind flashes back to a last second controversial defeat against Atlanta early on. Matt Stafford’s clutch-ness has won them plenty of close ones before (mind flashes back to a couple against Dallas over the years) so I’ll give Stafford five 4Qtr comebacks in 2018, why not.

Green Bay Packers

Head Coach: Same dude since 2006, it’s Mike McCarthy

2017 Record: 7-9, losing 8 of 11 after Aaron Rodgers was injured

Main Man: R-E-L-A-X… it’s Aaron Rodgers. Same as it always is. And it’s not even close.

What To Watch For: It’s all about putting Rodgo in the best situation to succeed. He’s 35 now but that’s no longer old for a quarterback in this league, thanks to the wonders of modern medicine and lifestyle and nutrition and all that. He’s lost his mate Jordy Nelson but instead they’ve spent money on Jimmy Graham, which is a mouth-watering combination, and Davante Adams should step up in Nelson’s absence.

The Big Question: Big questions about most of the rest of their roster. Have they done anything to address their pass rush deficiencies? Can a couple rookie corners supply the needed depth in the secondary? Mike McCarthy’s still there but he’s changed both his coordinators so will that spice things up? Is the receiving corps talented enough? Does any of that even matter with #12 in action? Pick one.

Sneaky Pick: The Packers look average for half a season then win six in a row to make the playoffs and topple a higher seed along the way… let’s say the Vikings just because.

Minnesota Vikings

Head Coach: Good ol’ Mike Zimmer

2017 Record: 13-3 but got thrashed by the Eagles in the NFC Championship game

Main Man: Good as the Vikes were last time, Kirk Cousins is an improvement at quarterback. Case Keenum was superb but that’s the first time we’ve seen that from him. Cousins makes a 13-3 team even better. Getting a guy in his prime for a team this good in free agency (aka without having to trade any assets) is almost unprecedented in this league.

What To Watch For: Okay so Kirk Cousins is one thing but how much is he gonna love having Adam Thielen, Stefon Diggs and Dalvin Cook. He’s also got front row seats on the bench for one of the two consensus best defences in the NFL for 2017 (along with the Jaguars), so expect the ball in some very good areas. There’s not much they can do to be better in the regular season but Cousins gives them the flash to make a more comfortable run in the playoffs. The Vikings are very much legit.

The Big Question: Dalvin Cook is coming off an ACL injury which is never the best for a running back. By the way, Jerick McKinnon just did the same thing after leaving Minny to sign for San Fran (McKinnon being the dude who took Cook’s job after he was injured). Cook is a dual threat who was second in the NFL in rushing when he got hurt, albeit it was in week four. Can he do that for a whole season?

Sneaky Pick: The Vikings will not win the Super Bowl.

NFC WEST

Arizona Cardinals

Head Coach: Steve Wilks

2017 Record: 8-8

Main Man: There’s nothing wrong with a healthy David Johnson at running back, he peeled off 1239 yards a couple years ago and is a threat in the air as well as on the deck… but injury meant he made just eleven rush attempts in 2017. Shout outs to defensive cogs Patrick Peterson and Chandler Jones too.

What To Watch For: Times are a-changin’ for the Cardies, who have spent the last five seasons looking like a potential Super Bowl candidate only for injuries and inconsistencies to bugger things up. They haven’t made the playoffs for two seasons, quarterback Carson Palmer and head coach Bruce Arians have retired in the offseason (not Larry Fitzgerald though!), they’ve rebuilt their offensive line, lost several starters on defence and have a RB returning from injury. Likely to be a rebuilding project here in ‘Zona.

The Big Question: How long before we see rookie Josh Rosen chucked in the deep end? Right now it looks like Sam Bradford as starter and with all else that’s going on, new offensive coordinator Mike McCoy would probably rather Sammy B play as many games as possible… but we all know what his medical record looks like.

Sneaky Pick: Larry Fitzgerald surpasses Terrell Owens for second in career receiving yards.

Los Angeles Rams

Head Coach: Sean McVay, Boy Wonder

2017 Record: 11-5, how about it?

Main Man: Well, what do you reckon? 2017 AP Offensive Player of the Year Todd Gurley? 2017 AP Defensive Player of the Year Aaron Donald? 2017 AP Coach of the Year Sean McVay? Clue: there’s no wrong answer there. The Rams have kinda stunningly emerged as a super team and they’ve got title intentions.

What To Watch For: Ndamukong Suh, Marcus Peters and Aqib Talib. Three defensive magicians all signed up to play for the Rams this offseason. Granted, they lost Trumaine Johnson, Alec Ogletree and Robert Quinn in the process and took on some serious dollars (also giving Aaron Donald what was the biggest ever contract for a defensive player for a whole day until Khalil Mack happened) but that’s what you can do when you’ve got a quarterback and running back on rookie contracts. The Rams are stacked. There’s honestly no reason not to watch.

The Big Question: See, here’s the thing now. NFL super teams don’t tend to work. Massive name signings don’t always click. Players lose that crucial 1% of motivation in a gruelling sport after getting paid their big contract. Jared Goff is primed for a little regression. Expectations are difficult to live up to. They didn’t have any major injuries last season. Most of these players are short on playoff experience. So is it wrong that I’m almost completely sold on this team?

Sneaky Pick: NFC Championship Game, 2018 season: Los Angeles Rams vs New Orleans Saints.

San Francisco 49ers

Head Coach: Kyle Shanahan

2017 Record: 6-10… though they started 0-8

Main Man: Who else could it be but Jimmy G? Mr Garoppolo already has two rings as backup to Tom Brady and is undefeated in his seven starts as a pro. Dude’s already signed a huge contract. The hype is real and it’s a lot to live up to.

What To Watch For: The Niners haven’t been good since before Jarryd Hayne, back in the ol’ Kaepernick days… whatever happened to that guy? But Jimmy G has steadied things for them and there’s belief that they can get back into the playoffs now. They were active in the draft to get Garoppolo some playmaking help on offence and signed Richard Sherman to be the leader on defence. This’ll be a fun one.

The Big Question: Keeping it simple and wondering can Garoppolo/Shanahan can meet expectations in San Francisco? These things can take time but they’ve each got a lot of fans already.

Sneaky Pick: Sherman is a little underwhelming for the Niners but, under his stewardship, Ahkello Witherspoon has an absolute breakout season at cornerback.

Seattle Seahawks

Head Coach: Pete Carroll

2017 Record: Missed the postseason at 9-7

Main Man: Not even close on the offensive side, Russell Wilson wasn’t just their talismanic quarterback, throwing 34 touchdowns and 3983 yards, but he led the team in rushing too. Rashaad Penny was drafted in the first round to be their new running back after their bargain bin recruitment ran out of success in that position, so for the sake of Wilson’s ribs let’s hope that works. Can’t ignore a bit of Bobby Wagner either.

What To Watch For: Yeah, so here we are. The Legion of Boom is down to pretty much just Earl Thomas with Richard Sherman gone and Kam Chancellor retired. Take out Michael Bennett as well and that terrifying Seattle defence simply isn’t going to be the same. Injuries last year gave us an early glimpse at the post-LOB era and they were inexplicably out of the top ten in points allowed, yards allowed and first downs conceded. It’ll be weird, mate. Completions in Seattle?

The Big Question: Speaking of Earl Thomas, he’s currently in the middle of a contract holdout and has basically told the Dallas Cowboys to come and get him. What the hell are the Seahawks waiting for? Give the man his money! With all the turnover in their secondary, they can’t afford to lose ET too.

Sneaky Pick: Tempted to say Russell Wilson MVP but I just don’t think the Seahawks are gonna be good enough. Sneaky pick is that they’ll be bottom half in yards and points allowed for the first time since Pete Carroll’s first season in charge.

NFC SOUTH

Atlanta Falcons

Head Coach: Dan Quinn

2017 Record: Snuck into the playoffs with a 10-6 record and beat LAR before losing to PHI

Main Man: Rough to ignore Matty Ryan here but Julio Jones is just too good. In the past four years he averages 103.6 yards per game. AVERAGES that. Only Antonio Brown has more yards in that time (6349 vs 6317 – third is DeAndre Hopkins waaaay back on 5063) and Julio’s done that with 61 (sixty-one!) fewer catches.

What To Watch For: The Falcons only had one game last season in which they conceded over 30 points. They’ve steadily stressed the need for toughness on defence under Dan Quinn (who came up as a coach in Seattle) and last season we saw that coming to fruition. They already had a former MVP and one of the three best WRs in the league on offence but with a defence that can make plays too they’ll be a threat again.

The Big Question: Offensive coordinator Steve Sarkisian. It was a near-impossible task trying to build on the mastery of Kyle Shanahan before him but he’s had a year with the team now and the second season seems to be the one where most coaches being to thrive so what you got, Stevie? They were particularly average in the red zone so that’s a good place to start.

Sneaky Pick: A resurgent season for Vic Beasley is on the way now that he’ll be back at DE. Dunno how that’s quantified but he’ll be much, much better.

Carolina Panthers

Head Coach: Riverboat Ron Rivera

2017 Record: Beaten by the Saints in the wildcard round after going 11-5

Main Man: Sure, Cam Newton has won an MVP award before. But Luke Kuechly might be the best defensive player in the entire sport. You can’t run at him, you can’t throw past him. He’s a black hole at linebacker.

What To Watch For: A new OC in Norv Turner should help keep this offence evolving but the main elements will still be Cam Newton, both on his feet and through the air, and Christian McCaffrey. The latter is a fair but overrated (outside of fantasy points) but they need to get the traditional run game going to take the pressure off their quarterback. Check on whether their offensive line helps that and check if their play-calling does the same.

The Big Question: Why can’t Cam have nice things?

Sneaky Pick: Panthers miss the playoffs, don’t @ me.

New Orleans Saints

Head Coach: Sean Payton

2017 Record: 11-5 and only got eliminated in the divisional round because of a miracle last minute win from the Vikings.

Main Man: Drew Brees was remarkable last season. Get some young, rapid talent around him and he’s still got it. Alvin Kamara was outstanding at RB and Brees, after several years of padding stats for a bad team, was as good as ever – 4334 yards with 23 TDs and only 8 picks (his fewest picks ever when playing 16 games in a season) and a career-best 72.0& completion rate. He’s 39 now but this is the age of the veteran quarterback so no dramas there.

What To Watch For: The Saints are back. Following three straight seven-win seasons they ripped off eleven wins last time and should’ve made the NFC Championship game where they had every chance of toppling the Eagles. Sean Payton is still there, he and his assistants as ballsy as ever when it comes to throwing creative schemes out there. Alvin Kamara is brilliant. Drew Brees is Drew Brees. There’s speed and there’s creativity out there and, after bloody ages without one, finally an excellent defensive unit. Go on and get some.

The Big Question: In 2017 their top choice offensive line missed ten games between them and played a whole chunk more at below full capacity. Can they stay healthier his time and will that be the thing that puts the Saints over the top?

Sneaky Pick: Marcus Williams absolutely bottled the final play of the Saints’ season, getting beaten by Stefon Diggs for the game-winning 61-yard TD now known as the Minnesota Miracle. But Williams is still only 22 years old and coming off a four-pick season last time out. With Marshon Lattimore doing the business beside him, I reckon MW bags eight picks in 2018. Eight of them. Count ‘em up.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Head Coach: Dirk Koetter

2017 Record: 5-11

Main Man: Jameis Winston will miss the first three games of the season with suspension (what’s up, Ryan Fitzpatrick?) for groping a female Uber driver. He’s made small improvements each year in the league but too many interceptions, too many reckless passes and too much idiocy off the field makes this an extremely crucial year if he wants that contract extension.

What To Watch For: 2017’s worst pass defence did their best to get some rushing pressure in with Jason Pierre-Paul and Vinny Curry. They’ve still got Mike Evans and DeSean Jackson running deep for Winston. The Buccs come with great risk and great reward this season, there are veterans on big contracts needing to bounce back and plenty more young guys who haven’t lived up to potential yet than just Winston (Vernon Hargreaves, for example).

The Big Question: Can we start giving Gerald McCoy the credit he deserves, please?

Sneaky Pick: Jameis Winston is not the TBB starting QB in 2019.

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