A Handy Guide to the Men’s Basketball Tournament at Rio 2016
BOOGIE!!!
GROUP A
United States of America
Medal Chances: Safer than Steph Curry or Kevin Durant at the free throw line. The closest thing to a sure bet at these Olympics… except maybe for the USA women’s team, that is.
Main Man: Well, it’s been a big few months for KD, that’s for sure.
NBA Fellas: Literally all of them. Jimmy Butler, Kevin Durant, DeAndre Jordan, Kyle Lowry, Harrison Barnes, DeMar DeRozan, Kyrie Irving, Klay Thompson, DeMarcus Cousins, Paul George, Draymond Green and Carmelo Anthony.
Other Jokers You Might Know: If there’s a name you don’t recognise, you aren’t watching the NBA close enough. Draymond Green’s a fun one, he kicked Steven Adams in the nuts a couple times during the playoffs, then slapped LeBron James with one of them in the Finals. Oh, and completing the fixation he accidentally snapchatted a dick pick to all his followers the other day. Carmelo Anthony, meanwhile, doesn’t like mornings. Not even Vanessa Carlton soundtracked mornings.
France
Medal Chances: Very strong, should be targeting a semi-final despite being one of the last teams to qualify – remember, they played New Zealand and we nearly beat ‘em.
Main Man: So there’s this guy named Tony Parker and he’s not too bad, even at age 34 he owns the court like he always has.
NBA Fellas: Parker’s joined by Boris Diaw, a former teammate at the Spurs who’s signed with the Utah Jazz recently. Where he’ll play with Rudy Gobert. Joffrey Lauvergne is also a Denver Nugget and Nic Batum just re-signed with the Charlotte Hornets.
Other Jokers You Might Know: Check out Nando de Colo, who plays in Russia. He’s played in the NBA before and is a former Euroleague MVP. Dude is a superb player. Mickael Gelabale can do plenty as well.
Venezuela
Medal Chances: Let’s just say it’ll be unlikely.
Main Man: His name is Greivis Vasquez and he signed with the Nets in free agency. He’s also injured and won’t be playing.
NBA Fellas: Nought. But Anthony Perez, a 22 year old forward, is in the college system with Ole Miss.
Other Jokers You Might Know: Yeah, there aren’t any. Venezuela stunned a lot of people when they won the FIBA Americas championship last year, which is how they qualified, but on paper they’re the worst squad here. Good thing it’s the Olympics then, where underdogs have a chance.
Serbia
Medal Chances: Eh, somewhere in the middle of the pack.
Main Man: Nikola Jokic had quite the rookie season for the Denver Nuggets, the big fella outperforming his scout reports with his old fashioned post play and new fashioned shooting range.
NBA Fellas: Nah, it’s just Jokic of the Rio squad. Most entered the draft at some point but almost all went undrafted. Nemanja Nedović played a few times for Golden State a couple years back, Miroslav Raduljica as well with the Bucks and Wolves. Bogdan Bogdanović’s draft rights are owned by the Sacramento Kings.
Other Jokers You Might Know: It’s pretty stink that Nemanja Bjelica won’t be there, as he’d really round out the team. They’re relying on a couple too many average players to have great tourneys, even if we’ve seen bigger odds beaten in the past.
Australia
Medal Chances: Better than they’ve ever been before, Australia has named an almost full strength side and they want this thing. An injury prone Andrew Bogut is an issue but if they all stay fit and click then this’ll be a team to watch, that’s for sure.
Main Man: Ooh, tough to pick. Patty Mills gunned the Tall Blacks in qualifying and is the type of player that always rises to the occasion. Andrew Bogut is probably the most reputable.
NBA Fellas: Add to the list Joe Ingles (Utah Jazz), Matthew Dellavedova (Milwaukee Bucks) and Aron Baynes (Detroit Pistons). No or Dante Exum Ben Simmons but that was expected. Cameron Bairstow was a Chicago Bull until he signed with the Brisbane Bullets in July.
Other Jokers You Might Know: The rest of them are all well-known Aussie that have either played against New Zealand or against the NZ Breakers in the Aussie NBL. Chris Goulding, Damian Martin, Brock Motum, Ryan Broekhoff and David Andersen. Ah yeah, and Kevin Lisch, the two-time NBL MVP who decided recently that he felt Australian enough to fair dinkum play for their bloody national team.
China
Medal Chances: Slim at best, but they shouldn’t be the worst team here.
Main Man: Gotta be Yi Jianlian. It’s been a few years since he last graced the NBA but for a while there he was a cult hero on the Dallas Mavericks and before that a pretty handy rotation forward on the New Jersey Nets. More recently he’s been a leading scorer for Guangdong in the CBA.
NBA Fellas: Yi is the only one with NBA experience in the squad, which consists entirely of players who last played professionally in their home nation. Zhou Qi and Wang Zhelin were both second round draft picks in 2016 though, so they’ve got a bit to prove.
Other Jokers You Might Know: It’s a very young team, only three players selected were born in the 80s. So not too may are names at all outside of China – but they could be in time. There are four seven footers in the team, including both the two 2016 draftees.
GROUP B
Argentina
Medal Chances: They’ve been stronger in the past but are still a team most nations will fear. Could well make a run into the semis.
Main Man: Probably still Manu Ginobili. The golden generation of Argentine basketball hasn’t quite produced another of him yet, Manu’s got Olypmic gold and bronze medals and at age 39 this will probably be his last trip with the national team.
NBA Fellas: Quite a few of them. Manu Ginobili you’ve heard of. Luis Scola as well, he’s just signed with the Brooklyn Nets. Carlos Delfino has played over 500 times in the NBA while Patricio Garino this year signed as an undrafted free agent to join Manu at the San Antonio Spurs and Nicolas Brussino has made his way to the Dallas Mavericks. Andres Nocioni has played NBA as well.
Other Jokers You Might Know: Nicolás Laprovíttola made the move to Europe in 2015 and has recently signed with Estudiantes in Spain. He’s a pretty reliable young point guard, this lad, who shoots a mean three pointer too.
Spain
Medal Chances: As arguably the second best team in the world with arguably the second best domestic league as well, Spain should be backing themselves for a bit of precious metal at the end of it all. They won silver in 2008 and 2012.
Main Man: Ricky Rubio is a legit superstar in Spain. They love him.
NBA Fellas: Rubio’s Timberwolves associations are matched by the ever-wonderful Pau Gasol, now of the San Antonio Spurs (there’s a bunch of them in this tournament, we know they love their international players). Jose Calderon, NY Knicks, shoots a mean three pointer and Alex Abrines is now with the Thunder after being stashed overseas since 2013. Ooh, and don’t forget Nikola Mirotic of the Bulls.
Other Jokers You Might Know: Rudy Fernandez has been a fixture for the Spanish side, he was a decent player for Portland for a few years and now rocks it for Real Madrid. In fact there are five Real Madrid blokes in this squad, Sergio Rodriguez, Felipe Reyes, Willy Hernangomez and Sergio Llull. Rodriguez has also played NBA while Hernandgomez was picked up by the New York Knicks in the 2016 draft.
Brazil
Medal Chances: Being hosts helps. They won the Pan American Games in 2015 too so you’d be silly to count them out entirely.
Main Man: Probably a split between their two flashy guards, the old and the new. Marcelo Huertas (of LA Lakers fame) and Raul Neto (of Utah Jazz fame). Neto’s a gun from deep while Huertas has the vision.
NBA Fellas: Along with those two, there’s also Leandro Barbosa of GSW, the fella Nene who’s now at the Rockets and Cristiano Felício who plays a bit of D-Legaue (and a lil NBA) in the Chicago Bulls organisation. Alex Garcia and Marquinhos Souza have played at that level too, though not recently.
Other Jokers You Might Know: Unfortunately there’s no Anderson Varejao or Tiago Splitter this time, weakening the Brazilians a bit. Vítor Benite is one who could do a job, he’s been one of the better players in the Brazilian league for a couple years now.
Lithuania
Medal Chances: They’ve got an alright chance, although it’ll be quite the story if they do end up on the podium. They won bronze in 2000.
Main Man: Jonas Valanciunas will do as much as he can for them. Look for a team that plays from in and around the paint, with the Raptors’ beast really feeling it in warm ups after his finest season in the NBA to date.
NBA Fellas: Domantas Sabonis is gonna kit up as a rookie for the OKC Thunder and should be plenty of fun. Valanciunas as well, obviously. Mindaugas Kuzminskas is on the books with the Knicks for the 2016-17 season too having made a good name for himself in Europe.
Other Jokers You Might Know: Renaldas Seibutis and Robertas Jovtokas are former draft picks. Their problem is that they could use a few polished guards to play around the NBA lads but even still they’re actually the third ranked international team in the world. Granted there’s a big drop from USA to Spain and another big drop to Lithuania, who narrowly edge Argentina. But still.
Croatia
Medal Chances: Call them the dark horses, this is an exciting, young team and you never really know with those sorts.
Main Man: It’s a split between two of the best young European draft talents of the past couple years. Poor old Dario Saric became kinda emblematic of The Process in Philly as he was stashed overseas – he’s now finally coming to America. He’ll likely run the show with Mario Hezonja of the Orlando Magic, another dynamic bloke with size.
NBA Fellas: Bojan Bogdanovic averaged 11.2 points for the Brooklyn Nets last season. Also if you remember Roko Ukic, he played a couple seasons in America for the Bucks and Raptors.
Other Jokers You Might Know: Not really anyone. Luka Babić goes okay. This might be a preparation tournament for the Croatians, who’ll play quick and take a lot of shots but aren’t likely to threaten this time. Again, there’s dark horse potential about them now… but just imagine them in four years with Saric and Herzonja established in the NBA and maybe a couple others around them.
Nigeria
Medal Chances: Yeah, nah. Not gonna happen.
Main Man: Unfortunately it won’t be Al-Farouq Aminu who pulled out in odd circumstances. Something to do with issues with the Nigerian Basketball Federation. Festus Ezeli is also out of the pack, insurance problems ruining his chances. They’re still the main men all the same.
NBA Fellas: Given pretty much their whole team was born in America, you’d think there would be more but Michael Gbinije, 49th pick of the 2016 draft by the Detroit Pistons, is the only dude. Ike Diogu, Josh Akognon and Ben Uzoh have been there before.
Other Jokers You Might Know: Al-Farouq Aminu’s brother Alade is in the team. Also, Ebi Ere played a little for the Adelaide 36ers last year and he isn’t even the only former Aussie NBL lad, there’s also… the main man Ekene ‘Uncle Kenny’ Ibekwe! The ex-NZ Breakers lad kitting up for his nation at the Olympics, the man responsible for possibly the greatest moment in Breakers history at that: