The Wildcard’s Premier League Predictions - Week 32
Last Week: 5/10
Overall: 156/303
Tottenham Hotspur v Watford
Saturday 11.30pm (NZT)
They couldn’t… could they? Nah probably not. But second place is a worthy back-up prize for Spurs what with Arsenal a few places down and all that. That they’re still in a title race at this stage of the season after how they bottled it last year is a real achievement. Brittle Spurs? Apparently not.
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-0 Spurs
West Ham United vs Swansea City
Sunday 2.00am (NZT)
So do we call this one a relegation battle? We know Swansea are knee deep in the murk there but the Hammers, after losing to Arsenal amongst other results, now find themselves still on only 33 points and only five points ahead of the Swans who are eighteenth and sitting in the drop zone. Five straight defeats for West Ham and they’ve conceded 13 goals in those games. It’s been six games even since they only conceded one in a match. You’re frankly not gonna pick up too many positive results letting in multiple goals every game. Jeezus, Slaven.
By this time, everyone’s in danger. Slaven Bilic won’t be in charge again next season if they’re relegated and he still might fail to see the season out at this rate. This is horrible from West Ham who started with five defeats from their first six PL games, had a spell in the middle of six without a win and now haven’t tasted victory in seven efforts. Bilic has been under pressure in each of those runs and the worry is that he hasn’t been able to permanently steady things – the next slump is always around the corner, watch your feet.
Of course no team is gonna be in much control of their fate when they don’t have a midfield.
Swansea looked to have turned things around under Paul Clement but the last month they’ll lost some momentum while others have steadily still picked up points. Looked the goods for a win over Spurs with a great defensive stand under constant siege but eventually they fell and Tottenham strolled with those three late goals. Swansea’s biggest worry is that they had chances to beat teams around them, taking points but also denying points, and they failed. Lost to Hull, lost to Bournemouth, drew with Middlesbrough. Still got some winnable games remaining though. This could well be one of them.
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-1 Swans, yeah thassrright
Stoke City vs Liverpool
Sunday 2.00am (NZT)
Aaaaand crash goes the jenga tower.
Guess how many games Liverpool have won without Sadio Mane in the Premier League this season. No seriously, take a punt here. Come on. (Don’t look down).
Yeah, you got it. Absolutely none. They’re hardly perfect with him in there either but they’re good enough with the Ghanaian to be sitting in the top four. Which kinda threatens that whole top four thing again although to be honest I already saw them as the most likely to miss out of the top six there. Probably with Man United as well with their draws and European footy.
- Liverpool with Mane starting: 17 wins | 6 draws | 3 defeats | 60 goals scored
- Liverpool without Mane starting: 0 wins | 3 draws | 2 defeats | 6 goals scored
Now for something completely different… a player who has played for both Stoke and Liverpool. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN MISTER CHARLIE ADAM!!!
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-1 LFC – they’re gonna finally do it
West Bromwich Albion vs Southampton
Sunday 2.00am (NZT)
The Saints are seven points behind WBA with two games in hand and this head to head right here. The battle for eight is still a thing.
Wildcard’s Pick: 1-1
Middlesbrough vs Burnley
Sunday 2.00am (NZT)
Okay now 13 games without a victory, seven points off of safety, eight games to play… it’s now or never for Boro. Somehow they have to find a way to win probably four of their remaining games – this a team with only four league wins all season. They’ve beaten Sunderland, Bournemouth, Hull and Swansea. 11 draws in there (only Man Utd have more) but the lesson of Middlesbrough’s season is that draws aren’t enough. It’s better to lose two and win one than draw two and lose one. Sad to say I can’t see them figuring a way out of this… but if they are going to then a home game against the worst away team in the division is as good a place to begin as any.
Wildcard’s Pick: 1-0 Boro, why not?
Manchester City vs Hull City
Sunday 2.00am (NZT)
Telegraph Football: Pep Guardiola involved in 'tunnel bust-up' after Manchester City and Chelsea staff clashed
“Telegraph Sport understands the bust-up started between Chelsea fitness coach Paolo Bertelli and Manchester City masseur Mark Sertori, who had been arguing from their respective positions in the dug-outs during the game. Witnesses claim the pair clashed in the mouth of the tunnel and an angry exchange ensued that was being dealt with by stewards and other staff members before Guardiola is said to have become involved.
Having already made his way up to the dressing-room area, Guardiola is claimed to have come back down the stairs to defend Sertori and allegedly flew into a rage when Bertelli made a comment about his touchline behaviour. The row did not become physical, but Guardiola stood his ground and waited outside the City dressing-room after everybody had been ushered back up the stairs towards their respective dressing rooms.”
Alrighty then, big fella.
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-0 City… of the Manchester variety, sorry
Bournemouth vs Chelsea
Sunday 4.30am (NZT)
Shot to Bournemouth. Late goal against Liverpool, getting them something from a game they really had to scrap in. Not a full strength Liverpool but still Liverpool. Good to see the Cherries getting some rewards there because they definitively had their time without those this season. Anyway it means five games without defeat, including draws at Old Trafford and Anfield, so that’s Eddie Howe doing what Slaven Bilic hasn’t been able to so far.
Yeah… not gonna beat Chelsea though, are they? Once again the Blues showed that they know how to grind those results out, leaving Manchester City looking emptily at the skies. I keep flashing back to that John Stones chance that he put over the top but I guess when it’s your season, it really is your season. Chelsea force mistakes with the way they play. Sometimes that’s their own mistakes such as the publicised fluffer that Courtois had for the Aguero goal, kicking a clearance straight to David Silva, though I don’t see how you freak out over one silly error after a whole season of flawlessness. Especially against City who were for damn sure some goalie-cock-up-karma after the last 12 months.
They’re still in a title race though. Seven points clear of an increasingly resilient Spurs with both teams having eight games left to play. Here are the scheds…
Chelsea:
Bournemouth (A), Manchester United (A), Southampton (H), Everton (A), Middlesbrough (H), West Brom (A), Sunderland (H), Arsenal (A)
Spurs:
Watford (H), Bournemouth (H), Leicester (A), Crystal Palace (A), Arsenal (H), West Ham (A), Man United (H), Hull (A)
That’s really interesting, not in the least coz the two buggers play each other in a cup semi-final in two weeks as well. Would argue Chelsea have the tougher run but then you never know how things will happen on the day, clichés and all that. Love that both of them have to play Manchester United and Arsenal, those two teams so desperate to find themselves in the middle of a title race again and here they are with that wish granted… it’s just not their title race.
I’ve already forgotten that Chelsea lost to Palace last week.
Wildcard’s Pick: Chelsea 3-1
Sunderland vs Manchester United
Monday 12.30am (NZT)
Oh phew, Sunderland. Exactly what a team with a frustrating habit of drawing games in which they completely dominate needs. A game which under no circumstances they should ever not win. The way things are going for Sunderland we all know how the story ends. They’ll be firmly relegated and they’ll clear out the deadwood, Moyesy will probably stick around for the rebuild and they’ll be back in the top flight within a couple seasons in a much better state. Next year they’ll even be able to watch their team win some games. Honestly, if Man United draw this game then Jose Mourinho needs to resign.
But enough on that, spend the next four and a half minutes of your life watching this, please. It’s worth every second.
By the way, Man United have lost one game fewer than Chelsea and are 18 points behind them on the league table.
God, I feel bad for Luke Shaw, aye? Wins a last-second penalty to save a point and played pretty well off the bench too and even when his manager praises him he still finds a way to undermine that. Certain types of people shrug off these things and say modern footballers are too pampered to be criticised publically but I find that hard to believe. What is true is that the modern media is so much more pervasive, so much more immediate and overwhelming that you really have to guard your comments or else a storm will brew. Mourinho knows what he’s doing in trying to spark him up but give the lad the W for once, man. He did good.
Premier League Managers Ranked in Order of Brain Control Technique:
- Jose Mourinho
- Antonio Conte
- Pep Guardiola
- Tony Pulis
- Sam Allardyce
- Jurgen Klopp
- Mauricio Pochettino
- Marco Silva
- Walter Mazzarri
- Ronald Koeman
- Craig Shakespeare
- Sean Dyche
- Paul Clement
- Eddie Howe
- Claude Puel
- Slaven Bilic
- Mark Hughes
- Arsene Wenger
- Steve Agnew
- David Moyes
Wildcard’s Pick: MUFC with a 2-0 win, Mourinho to sub on Fellaini as soon as the second goes in (in the 37th minute)
Everton vs Leicester City
Monday 3.00am (NZT)
Is it controversial to say that Rommy Lukaku blew it for Everton against Man Utd? He had a tough time against Bailly but clearly got the best of Rojo, though despite several chances on the break, he couldn’t do anything with that. United kept him from having any decent shots in the first half although he ruined one chance by not passing and in the second it was counter after counter and he just slowed them down. A second goal and that unluckiness with Ashley Williams and the handball woulda been irrelevant.
Lukaku’s great, but he doesn’t really do it in the big games. He never scores against United, for one thing. The whole top six his record is average against. Then again so is Everton’s as a team so help maybe ain’t arriving too quick.
This should be a good one. Everton with a chance still to get back into Europe and Leicester playing the best footy since before they were champions. Five wins in a row, Craig Shakespeare still perfect. Best of all they’ve had two clean sheets in a row too (okay, not ‘best of all’ but it is very good). There are three managers who’ve won their first five games in the Prem. Pep Guardiola is one, Carlo Ancelotti (Chelsea 2009-10) is the other. So in more than 20 years of Premier League football, it’s happened twice this season and only once before. This is where the old fellas interject with the whole ‘football existed before 1994, you realise!?’ thing. Yes, it did. I’m not gonna be the one who argues that.
Wildcard’s Pick: Ooh… letssssaay… 1-0 Leicester for sentiment’s sake
Crystal Palace vs Arsenal
Tuesday 7.00am (NZT)
In watching Palace limp towards what increasingly felt like relegation under Alan Pardew, it was easy to forget that this was a squad that most people thought would be comfortably in mid-table this season. I was one such pundit. The defence is weak and that was their biggest worry but then they brought in Big Sam, a notoriously effective defensive marshal, meanwhile their attacking weapons include the types of players that most clubs in their position would beg for.
Yohan Cabaye, who’s injured for this game, has a crappy attitude but brilliant technique and has played 48 times for France. That’s huge. Andros Townsend runs hot and cold but his left foot is still magical and one trick ponies are no problem for Master Allardyce – one trick is better than most players have. Then there’s Wilfried Zaha who might have rejected England’s advances and failed badly at Man Utd yet when he’s on he’s absolutely magnificent. Then there’s Christian Benteke. You don’t get transfer fees like his one to Liverpool on the back of being average. When he left Aston Villa, that team crumbled. When Benteke is on form he’s one of the best strikers in the Premier League.
And it was two isolated pieces of genius/luck from Zaha and Benteke that secured the win over Chelsea, three absolutely enormous points in the relegation battle. Nobody else down there is beating Chelsea and it only reminds you how they shouldn’t have been in this position in the first place.
You know what? Let’s test this theory. If you’re gonna stay up you need a person to score goals and another to create them. Palace smash up the competition. Except for Swansea but Swansea are reliant on those two in a way that isn’t a hundy percent safe. As for Hull’s duo, they’re both new to the team since Silva took over. If Hull stay up, honestly, those January moves they made will be essential. Remember they sold Snodgrass and Livermore!
- Crystal Palace – Benteke (11 goals) / Zaha (7 assists)
- Hull City – Niasse (4 g) / Grosicki (3 a)
- Swansea – Llorente (11 g) / Sigurdsson (11 a)
- Middlesbrough – Negredo (7 g) / Ramirez (3 a)
- Sunderland – Defoe (14 g) / Nobody
Arsenal likewise? Eh, not so much. They’ve been due a slip out of the top four for a decade, it just doesn’t make that much sense that they could keep finishing third or fourth without being good enough to finish first or bad enough to finish sixth. In the past the talent gap between the traditional top four (of the Premier League era) and the rest has been enough for that to perpetuate. It’s not anymore. Tottenham and Manchester City have busted that wall down and this is what happens as a result. I’ve got a feeling that Arsenal might still overtake Liverpool and Manchester United are no guarantee to cash in on any game with their finishing. But Theo Walcott calling Mesut Ozil’s goal a catalyst for the rest of the season is… erm, optimistic. Neither of them would even be there next season if El Wildcardo was in charge.
Wildcard’s Pick: Tell you what… 2-1 to Palace. Come at me Gooners.
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