Scribblings of a Fair Weather Friend - A few quiets at Eden Park?
What’s that? You’re busy on Saturday night? Oh, you promised, did you?
Well listen to me pal. You aren’t going anywhere with that below-average looking gal of yours, because you’ve got new plans. The Wellington Fucken Phoenix are in town and they’re here to par-tay. Saturday night at Eden Park will have the stadium lights glowin’ and the overpriced drinks a-flowin’. And guess what – YOU sir, have the chance to be there. Slam some post-match jager bombs with Paul Ifill, or a half-time Double Brown wizard stick with Benny Siggy.
Doesn't that just sound like a dream night out? Yes, yes it does. So ditch that hoe, txt the boys, smash back some beer and watch some absolute world class footy.
Now you might be asking yourself “Why should I listen to this guy? What does he know about livin in the struggle? We can’t all afford them high class gold plated Eden Park tickets!” Well mate, you’re in luck. For a mere $30, you’ll be grinding the upright with Manny Muscat during the defensive corners. You’ll be counting the stacks of cash you’ve saved with the official WPHNX crew – the YELLLOOOOW FEEEEEVEERRRRRR!!!! But don’t hold onto that cash too tightly. No, because after 80 minutes, you’ll wanna to make it raaaaaiiiiin over all those hotties whippin' their tight shirts off! Yeeeeyaaaah!!I 100% guarantee that by heading along to the Nix vs Adelaide, you’re gonna get a promotion, take home a super model & win the lotto.
Yeah so a lot of that is a lie, but not the message I’m trying to send.
Mmmm yeah... Hotties...
If you live in Auckland, this is a great chance to see some in-form, above-standard-NZ-quality football. No, it won’t be Premier League quality, and perhaps that’s the reason so many people diss the Nix & the A-League – but it’s common knowledge that being at the game & getting involved with a bit of hoo-ha is waaaaay better. “Aw yeah but I’d just rather have a quiet beer at home on the couch and watch it”. Oh yeah? Harden up, pussy.
Most of you won’t have seen live Wellington Phoenix before, because only hardcore ninjas will fly to Wellington. This weekend, it’s in your backyard. Well, a traffic congested and crowded version of your back yard, but it’s the closest you’ll get for at least another year. The Yellow Fever will be inflated with fan-boy Aucklanders this week, but will 100% bump up the atmosphere during the 90 minutes. And you might even see some lovely ladies taking their shirts off after the 80 minute mark, providing my inevitable TAB bet pays off.
Tickets ARE only $30, which is a steal compared to watching the Black Caps or most other gigs going down on a Saturday night in the shitty of shails.
The main reason I urge you to go is because these guys deserve it. They’re on a great run after a tough start, and they’re starting to become properly entertaining. The worst case scenario would be if the Nix did play shyte and got thumped – but your insurance is that you can always ask (yell) at Jeremy Brocoli how long he’s got to go before he’s fully boiled.
The game itself is actually pretty crucial for both teams – a classic 6 pointer. Wellington need the big W here to stay in close proximity of the top 6, Adelaide will move to 4th if they prevail. These 2 teams happen to be playing pretty attractive football at the moment, so I can’t stress how cool this game has the potential to be. Kenny K is back, Big Carlos is back, plus no injuries or suspensions from last week’s side that dominated the first half against Brisbane.
Go on, it’ll be worth the effort. Also, feel free to start off at the Kingslander in Mt Eden for some pre-game ‘warm-up’ – I hear they serve cold beer there? COME ON PHOENIX!
Get your tickets here: