Mourinho’s Notebook – October 24
Who Are Ya?
Get this: A former youth footballer who never quite made it was so desperate to maintain his lifestyle of champagning and campaigning that he pretended to be Chelsea prospect Gael Kakuta.
Medi Abalimba, a former Derby County prospect, has been jailed for four years for fraud. He rented posh hotel suites and ran up bar tabs all over London in Kakuta’s name. He’d book places ahead of time pretending to be Kakuta’s agent then roll around the clubs with an entourage (probably there for free drinks). Then he’d either skip paying or he’d use stolen credit card details that he’d photograph on his phone after sneaking an illegal peek.
The fuzz caught up with him when he tried to buy over £20,000 worth of clothing at a Manchester store with a stolen credit card and the staff caught a whiff of naughtiness.
Rochdale Lights
Now here is a bunch of clever folk. League One Rochdale AFC have saved up to £30,000 by heating the soil and thus helping the grass grow around the goalmouths of their pitch… with lights confiscated by local police in cannabis busts. Police donated the lights for free, how nice.
Oh Dear God, Ease Up!
Mario Balotelli swapped shirts at half time! NO! HOW COULD HE!?
Ok, it’s not what you’d recommend but apparently that’s the done thing these days. Players often chuck on a new jersey at half time, so what’s the big deal? If Steven Gerrard did it nobody would care. In fact Stevie G went and made things worse by specifically NOT swapping shirts afterwards, like the smartass kid in class that self-righteously gives the right answer after you made a clumsy attempt at it coz you weren’t listening at the time.
The commentators on the radio even went as far to suggest the shirt thing was why he was subbed off. Morons. He got subbed off because he’s a scapegoat for Liverpool’s dismantling in that first half vs Real Madrid. He’s not Luis Suarez and he never will be. What’s more, we all knew this before he signed for Liverpool. If Brendan Rodgers expected otherwise he maybe needs some new scouts. Balotelli is a finisher who’ll thrive once he gets to play with Dan Sturridge, a guy who’ll bring the focus of the attack into the box (instead of Bubba Sterling running around it). So long as he hasn’t been panic sold by then.
By the way, is this a euphemism?
