Mourinho’s Notebook – October 31
Happy Halloween, footy lovers. Here’s the scariest picture known to man.
Brrrrrrr…
Mark Clattenbollocks
He’s a pretty decent ref is old Mark Clattenburg, but he ain’t much of a thinker. Clatts has been dropped for this weekend’s games after breaking a couple of protocols with the West Brom vs Crystal Palace game. First off, he drove alone to the game when rules say you’ve gotta travel with your assistants, but Marky Mark wanted to get back to Newcastle quickly so he could catch an Ed Sheeran concert with his wife. Ed Sheeran, seriously? He also spoke to Palace manager Neil Warnock on the phone without express permission or his assistants in attendance. Naughty boy. Warnock was extremely pissed over a couple decisions in the game, so he probably leaked the call to the FA himself. Honestly, though, Ed Sheeran? That ginger-headed, Ron Weasley-looking sucker?
The Trying Tale of The Rutherford Raiders
An inter-mural university team in Kent, UK. Struggling for money, devoid of funding, searching for a sponsor. As a joke they placed a popular website on their jerseys, uploaded it to facebook, watched it take off. Said website approaches them to sponsor the team for real.
However: “The University of Kent sports department would never sanction sponsorship of this type – it is totally inappropriate. The team has been spoken with and will not be allowed to wear the shirts in question at any time.”
Here is the shirt in question:
Ok, so yeah. The company was PornHub. Still, a team spokesperson had a very sensible riposte.
"We are struggling to see why they are having a problem. The university cricket team are sponsored by Kingfisher [beer] which is also a age restricted product. The university rugby team once had training shirts with '80 minutes, 15 positions, no protection, wanna ruck?"
"In my opinion the decision is made by people in Kent sport that are out of touch with what's socially acceptable.
"It's hard for football teams to find a sponsor. Both Kent sport and Rutherford refused to give us any money.
"Clearly PornHub did because there's was an opportunity to create a bit of attention. I personally haven't come across anyone yet that has found it anything other than funny."
Raunchy Rio
We’ve shown this silly tweet twice already and it's not funny enough to justify a third, but Rio just got banned for 3 games on behalf of it. Plus a fine. In it he basically gives a 'Your Mum' joke to a heckler, nothing especially witty or original. The ban is kinda rough considering the trolls play the game without consequences, then again Rio gets paid a lot of money to represent his club so whatever. This is a new age, folks, lots more things to get in trouble for. In other news, Rio is almost certain to retire at the end of the season.
Ballon D’Or Shortlist
- Gareth Bale, Wales, Real Madrid
- Karim Benzema, France, Real Madrid
- Diego Costa, Spain, Chelsea
- Thibaut Courtois, Belgium, Chelsea
- Angel Di Maria, Argentina, Manchester United
- Mario Gotze, Germany, Bayern Munich
- Eden Hazard, Belgium, Chelsea
- Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Sweden, Paris Saint-Germain
- Andres Iniesta, Spain, Barcelona
- Toni Kroos, Germany, Real Madrid
- Philipp Lahm, Germany, Bayern Munich
- Javier Mascherano, Argentina, Barcelona
- Lionel Messi, Argentina, Barcelona
- Thomas Muller, Germany, Bayern Munich
- Manuel Neuer, Germany, Bayern Munich
- Neymar, Brazil, Barcelona
- Paul Pogba, France, Juventus
- Sergio Ramos, Spain, Real Madrid
- Arjen Robben, Netherlands, Bayern Munich
- James Rodriguez, Colombia, Real Madrid
- Cristiano Ronaldo, Portugal, Real Madrid
- Bastian Schweinsteiger, Germany, Bayern Munich
- Yaya Toure, Ivory Coast, Manchester City