Team of the Week:

Krul (Newcastle)

Bacuna (Villa) Skrtel (Liverpool) Shawcross (Stoke) Baines (Everton)

Sissoko (Newcastle) N'zonzi (Stoke) Hazard (Chelsea)

Suarez (Liverpool) Benteke (Villa) Schurrle (Chelsea)

Hero of the Week:

Hero of the week is out of Benteke, Schurrle, and Shawcross this week as they were all instrumental in big wins for their respective teams. Benteke scored two as Villa ran out 4-1 winners in a relegation six-pointer against lowly Norwich. He hasn't had the goal-scoring form he had last season due to injuries but the big Belgian may just be turning a corner after this display. Benteke's first goal in particular was spectacular. It was a great game at Vila Park with both teams playing quailty football with great link-up play and counter-attacks despite the scoreline indicating otherwise. Shawcross also put in a fantastic captain's performance as Stoke defeated Arsenal 1-0 at the Britannia. He was rock solid at the back and composed the defense under the Gunners pressure to keep a clean sheet that proved vital.

The hero has to be Schurrle though after his fantastic hat-trick kept Chelsea at the top of the table against West-London rivals Fulham. He didnt look too sharp in the first-half and neither did his strike partner Torres but Schurrle kept on going and was rewarded with three brilliantly taken goals. With finishing ability like that plus having Eto'o and Torres to call on, Chelsea should be hard to catch at the Premier League summit. The German hasn't started too many games in the league this season but Mourinho will be tempted to play him a lot more often from now on.

Nipple of the Week:

Nipple of the week can only be one man - Alan Pardew. I didn't even need to say his name you already knew who it was going to be. It isn't the first time he's been the nipple of the week either, mainly because he is just an absolute nipple. I may change this to whose the Pardew of the week. Basically other then being his knobhead, boring, and drippy self, Pardew headbutted Hull player David Meyler despite his team beating Hull 3-1 at the time. If this was a player this would be a straight red and a lengthy suspension but a manager?! It has to be a bigger penalty. With some clubs he would have been sacked but Newcastle were idiots and gave him an 8-year contract so cant afford to pay that out. They have however fined him a huge amount of money while the FA will be giving out their own punishment for the boring drip.

I would love to see him sacked he has just got the kind of face you want to slap and obviously has no power over who the club signs, which thanks to the mass amount of French imports, is the reason they have done well in recent times. He's massively overrated, massively delusional, and a massive nipple. He's lucky to still be in a job and lucky he's not nipple of the week every week.