Scribblings of a Fair Weather Friend - Round 7

Man, I love Sundays! Add to the fact it was the first official day of summer in New Zealand and the black and yellow bandits kicked off at beer o’clock. I waltzed down Queen Street with my new haircut & shades and caught up with Matt, brave enough to be sporting his bright yellow Nix jersey. He reckons they’ll get themselves on track, but with no wins in 6, it’s almost worth saving face by supporting them undercover. Credit to him for waving the flag, he’s definitely got the yellow fever. Circumstances had me reasonably optimistic for the encounter against West Sydney – great weather, a decent weekend and my hangover had been cured by some outstanding Frujus earlier in the day. We both slapped down $20 worth of bets in favour of the Nix – as we've come to accept that manufactured inspirado is the only thing that will get you through an entire A-League fixture. Wellington were at home, no injuries, beers on the table – it was all pretty promising.

Pretty promising, of course, until we saw that were the only ones in the entire bar. Beauty. I mean, the Nix are second to bottom, but come on Auckland. It's not even hard, just grab a beer, look at the screen, and yell a bit - it's first grade material. Aside from entering the quietest bar in the southern hemisphere, the key mistake Matt & I made was using $20 on soft-core gambling. What we should have done was nip up to Farmers & splashed out on a couple of pillows. One to sleep on and one to cushion our arses from those bloody awful outdoor bar stools that the Sky Sports bar have on offer.  It was becoming quickly apparent why no one else was here watching. Holy Christ, the first 45 was as dull as winter funeral. By the half hour mark, I was so intent on knocking back a V, I fell asleep for a few seconds & had a mini dream about doing exactly that. Waking up to endless repeats of ‘Ben Sigmund’s guide to Route One Football’ just wasn't cutting the mustard, so me and Matt got the hell out of there at half time. Two V’s for $6 sorted us out, and we strolled around the block to Fox’s Alehouse. Seating there was far superior, so we sat down, dicked around with our phones for a bit, then got back into it.

Kenny C gives the Nix energy off the bench

Ernie Merrick must have had a right go at the lads - the 2nd half was noticeably better. A few one-two’s, a bit of Paul Ifill, a few tasty goal mouth scrambles. It was good to see the Nix creating opportunities with the pace of Kenny Cunningham & Tyler Boyd up the flanks. But it’s almost like the Nix have just forgotten how to score. For all the improvements in the 2nd half, they still failed to be clinical enough to find the net. Carlos Hernandez spooned a few golden chances - he looks as though he’s putting himself under a lot of pressure to break the duck. West Sydney also had their chances, but Wellingtons defense actually looked really solid, it was good to see Durante back to his brutal best after a few dodgy weeks. He pulled of a double-block to thwart two great chances for the Wanderers. Glen Moss was also sharp in goal, no mistakes all afternoon.

It did finish 0-0, but West Sydney are 2nd on the ladder, and we’re not getting the rub of the green. In perspective, it’s not a bad result. 6 points off the top 6, with 21 games to go. It’s definitely do-able, especially if Ernie is able to build on the 2nd half performance. Maybe he needs to look at starting with Ifill and Boyd, as they make a real difference off the bench, but aren't clinical enough to make defining impact with the time they’re given.

Yeah, I was pretty disappointed that another $20 went to waste, but I’m willing to place one more before I start to pull my hair out.

Come on lads, that first win needs to be just around the corner.

Scribblings of a Fair Weather Friend - Round 4

It’s tough work following the Phoenix. All I wanted to do on a Monday night was wolf down some dinner and get involved with some z’s after a hard weekend.

Unfortunately, The Phoenix took on Melbourne Victory at the dreadful hour of 9.30, so I headed round to a mates place to make sure I didn’t miss a 3rd game in a row. No beers in the fridge, so instead I was able to let loose on the cold water and lollipops while we waited for bloody Downton Abbey to finish. Matt flicked over to Sky Sport 2, bang on time for the line-ups, which was all pretty predictable – Wellington typically 2nd best on paper (which is the case 8 times out of 9 – sorry Newcastle, but you are crap). Notably for the Nix, Stein Poorgesms somehow managed to start (again), BossDog Hernandez was in centre mid, and Old-but-gold Ifill had his feet up on the bench.

The boys must have been exploding with confidence, the last Kiwi team to win in Melbourne was only 11 years ago – and that was thanks to Harry ‘Don’t beat your missus’ Ngata for the Kingz! What a champion outfit they were. According to the cringe-worthy Aussie commentary team, it was 16 degrees, reasonably humid, and a really emotional day for Ernie Merrick – he was sacked by Melbourne in 2011 and never got to say goodbye to his boys :( Come on. He’s a Scotsman. He smashed back the whisky that night and has probably held a grudge ever since. I guess if by emotional, they meant blood thirsty, then they probably had a point.

Anyway, by the time I was into my 5th Allens lollipop, we were 10 minutes in. A few dodgy tackles and a couple of speculative efforts from Wellington suggested Ernie had grabbed each man by the nads and demanded a victory – the first 15 minutes was Premier League level excitement, but still very A-League in terms of quality. Melbourne epitomized that A-League quality, when Archie Thompson stumbled onto a ricocheted pass, controlled it with his arm and deflected his shot off Andrew Durante’s sweaty nipples into the far post for 1-0 to Melbourne. Clearly in agony from the nipple chafe, Durante then gifted Melbourne a second – his poofter headed back pass embarrassingly slotted home by James Troisi. Durante, clearly in CBF mode about being selected for the All Whites, then let Troisi breeze past him, to lob over Glen Moss for 3-0 within 30 minutes.

Fair to say that by this stage, it was just about time to flick over to the EPL highlights show on TV1, but for some reason we soldiered on. The Nix, playing with a ridiculously high defensive line, were caught napping on at least 5 more occasions, with no consequences. The only man who looked even half interested was Jeremy Brockie, it was his cocaine-snorting energy that earned the Phoenix an undeserved lifeline. A diagonal ball from Hernandez, taken and finished ruthlessly by last seasons top scorer. Brockie’s determination then had the ball in the back of the net for a second time – beating two players and sliding in a pass for Stein the Brain to finish. Sadly, Huysegems hadn’t finished his cup of tea, and was caught about a foot offside. How handy would 3-2 at half time been?

Phoenix players react as Paul Ifill replaces Albert Riera

Very. It would have been very handy. As after the opening 20 minute blur of pure terrible football, the Nix managed 70% of the ball in the final 25 minutes. However, they failed to find any quality in the final 3rd to make any of it count. So Merrick turned to Jesus Christ, our saviour. Jesus strode onto the pitch in the shape of Paul Ifill, and used his holy footballing know-how to conjur up chance after chance for the Jerusalem Phoenix. With just under 10 minutes to go, Ifill turned water into wine and opportunity into goal as he received the ball on the edge of the box, turned his defender like a champ and toe-poked through Nathan Coe’s legs.

A very entertaining climax, subsequently proved too little, too late, though. A late Brockie lunge flew over the bar, and the Nix were sunk. I hung around to scoff a few more lollipops, and watched a bit of the EPL – but ultimately, Monday night ended up being pretty disappointing. It leaves the Phoenix 2nd to bottom, 5 points behind Perth, who they battle on Saturday at 5.30, beer o’clock -  I’ll see ya there.

Melbourne Victory 3 (Archie Thompson 9, James Troisi 20, 29) Wellington Phoenix 2 (Jeremy Brockie 36, Paul lfill 84). Halftime: 3-1.

Scribblings of a Fair Weather Friend - Round 3 (and a half)

What is a fair weather friend? Not quite a fan – not quite a bandwagon jumper. They are a particular following who, although often only support one team, have the nerve to prioritize life’s chores ahead of the great game.

As a true football fan, the early mornings, slow buffering, or distant sports bar rendezvous must be accepted. Unfortunately, for a true Manchester United fan, I’m having a little more trouble solidifying my loyalty to the Wellington Phoenix. This has resulted in poor weekly updates and comical observations of a battling Kiwi outfit, who need all the help they can get. So, as an editor to his limited number of followers, I apologize. By the end of the season, though, I want to be fully committed to this team – whether in breathtaking, knockout fashion, or dwelling the scummy cellars of the bottom league table. The tide isn’t all the way out, so I’m not 100% shallow – It's not all about results. if the Phoenix can throw together some promise, along with a bit of flair – Ernie Bigcheeks Merrick will have me convinced. So, 3 games in – how are the Nix going?

Since the opening day defeat, there have been improvements. A gutsy 1-1 draw across the ditch against the Western Sydney Wanderers and a 0-0 draw at home against Newcastle. The latter being described to me as ‘the hardest game I’ve ever had to watch’. Well when it comes to that kind of football, it takes two to tango. Maybe not the prettiest, but at least shows the Nix have learnt from the early defeat. Also, with many positive reports concerning the influence of Carlos Hernandez, hopefully it won’t be long until we witness a few sneaky wins. As it stands, however, the Phoenix are second to bottom. Clearly not a desirable start, but only 3 points separate 2nd from 10th.  This means the next 3-4 weeks will be crucial, as no team wants to lose pace with the peloton early, especially a team who will likely struggle to string together consistent 3 pointers. 

Unfortunately for the Nix, during this transitional stage of their season, the All Whites have two crucial clutch cargo gigs against Mexico. The 14th of November – and then back here for the 2nd leg on the 20th. Depending on flights (etc etc), the round 5 A-League fixture against Perth on November 9th could see the Kiwi boys out of action for the Nix. And even if they do play, I’m sure their minds will be somewhere else entirely. The next flurry of fixtures will no doubt be affected by these qualifiers – but I’d be lying if I said I was more eager for some black and yellow action. It’s a sacrifice Ernie Merrick will have no choice to make – it’s for the good of the nation. If the All Whites do not qualify (or, if their chances are hindered by club/country loyalties), he’ll being dealing with some very depressed men. The one positive aspect from these fixture clashes is that squad players are going to have a second chance to impress – the round 1 loss to Brisbane consisted of 6 back up players, who will be keen to wipe that dirt off their shoulders.

Other than the lack of goals, it doesn’t look too bad at this stage. No injuries means a nice fresh XI will face up against Melbourne on Monday Night, and everyone will know that 3 points would be an excellent brace for the turbulence of upcoming weeks. You’ll hear from me on Tuesday evening, after I set aside my duties to watch the Nix do battle. Cheers and beers.