The Wildcard’s Premier League Predictions - Week 23

Last Week: 6/10

Overall: 115/220

Arsenal vs Watford

Wednesday, 8.45am (NZT)

I dunno, the Gunners looked pretty bloody good to me with Arsene Wenger sitting away from the bench. Didn’t make much of a difference at all, granted against a Southampton team that more or less tanked it after targeting (successfully) the League Cup semi against Liverpool a few days earlier.

The most important thing there wasn’t Theo Walcott getting a hatty for the first time in a year and a half or whatever (as far as hat-tricks go, that’s not even a bad rate – his problem is the singular goals in between), nor even was it Shkodran Mustafi keeping his unbeaten Arsenal career alive. No kidding, he’s never lost. Every defeat this season has come with him out of the team. Nope, the most important thing to come from that FA Cup tie was the return of a great man… Dat Guy, in fact... Danny Welbeck.

He’s a player who I seriously rate. At face value he looks like a striker who doesn’t finish well, not the best passer or the toughest hold-up man either… but good things happen when he plays. The dude works hard and has that mystical ability to make things happen. Combine him with Alexis Sanchez and friends and there you go, goals will follow.

Let’s have one last laugh at Arsene Wenger’s stroppy reaction…

Four games sounds about right. There were worries that they’d let him get away with a slap on the wrist and no ban which, considering Jose Mourinho got a ban for kicking a water bottle, woulda been harsh. But no reason to throw the book at him for something that was completely uncalled for but not violent or aggressive. Got it done, we all move on.

Unfortunately he does miss a game at Stamford Bridge against Chelsea too, although he’s not exactly a manager known for his creative use of substitutes anyway.

You know who’s spent the least time trailing in games this season? That’d be Watford… nah jokes. It’s Arsenal, only 183 minutes all up in 22 games.

Wildcard’s Pick: 3-0 to Le Gunners

Middlesbrough vs West Bromwich Albion

Wednesday, 8.45am (NZT)

Not sure if it’s a respectable thing or a critical thing to say that this is the most obvious draw I might ever predict. Both teams will take the point, both teams will no doubt earn the point. And I know that West Brom are way more entertaining this season - you’re reading one of their biggest bandwagon fans right here – and I know that Boro are newly promoted with only one aim and that’s to stay in the top flight. I know all that and I understand it. ‘Respectable’ it is then. Keep on battling, folks.

Hey and how good is that FA Cup fifth round draw!? Arsenal travelling to Sutton, Boro themselves get a good looking tie at home against Oxford. Lots to be excited for there. Curious that as we head into the last 16 of the tournament, there are only eight Premier League sides left (one needing to get by a replay still) and five of those are from the top six. You know, the top six who have the depth to be able to rest their best players and still get results, with the exception of Liverpool who are gone-skees.

Wildcard’s Pick: 1-1

Swansea City vs Southampton

Wednesday, 8.45am (NZT)

Dammit, man, I had Swansea at dead and buried when they sacked Bob Bradley, just looking at the mess he’d left them in with no idea of their strongest team or anything. No sign of defence, that’s for sure. He had a couple of months and it was bad… but Paul Clement has had a shorter of a time than that and already you can see the impact. They have shape and vision again. Best of all is that they’re playing the kind of passing football (or at least trying to) that we haven’t seen since they sacked Garry Monk. Bloody hell, aye? There’s hope for them yet.

A couple of shrewd signings have helped. Tom Carroll spent some time there on loan in seasons past and that’s clearly helped him settle in - he was all quality last week as they beat Liverpool. Mate, the Reds have their own personnel issues, but I definitely didn’t see that one coming. Fernando Llorente is an option that’s not yet been fully exploited by the Swans – Bradley barely used him – and he’s looking sharp, while Gylfi Sigurdsson never disappoints. Looks like Federico Fernandez and Alfie Mawson are probably the top CB pairing as well. Good stuff, Clement’s a guy who it’s easy to cheer for – heck, he rejected the chance to join Big Sam’s England unit, now there’s a man of character!

But here they come up against a reborn Southampton team… sort of. Coming off a long overdue PL win against Leicester, which they did nice and comfortably in the end, 3-0, and chasing that with a superb defensive effort to knock Liverpool out of the EFL Cup and advance to the final at Wembley (doing so without their two best defenders – Van Dijk was injured and Fonte’s been sold to West Ham). Jack Stevens was a new name to me, what a performance by that dude. Including that late reaching challenge that may or may not have been a penalty (I leant with ‘not’). Then Shane Long did what Shane Long does and scored one on one with the keeper.

Then they got absolutely walloped 5-0 by Arsenal in the FA Cup. Granted with a few extra youth players than usual, you could tell they’d written that one off with the games on either side of it worth a lot more. Hence why I’ve gotta think they pull out a strong one here. Tell you who’s impressing me this season? Oriol Romeu. He’s got a Barcelona upbringing but he’s also a big fella who likes a heavy challenge and he’s picked up where Victor Wanyama let off after he departed. Just signed a new deal with the Saints through ‘til 2021. 

Wildcard’s Pick: Saints 2-1

Bournemouth vs Crystal Palace

Wednesday, 8.45am (NZT)

This should be a fun one. Palace just got thwacked by City in the Cup but they weren’t really bothered – looking at the team they picked it was quite strong but then so was City’s and having held on in there at 1-0 down until the rain set in, they got overrun at the end and nobody was complaining about the result. This game is different, it’ll be more of a flick of a switch because they should have Patrick Van Aanholt available for the first time since he transferred and both Wilfried Zaha and Bakary Sako could be ready after returning from AFCON duty.

One point from their last seven games, Palace need to start ticking that number over because with Swansea making marked improvements it’s not a fluke that Palace have slipped beneath them and into the drop zone.

As for the Cherries, they just had the weekend off. They could use it too – that defence has seen a few absentees lately which hasn’t helped their cause and Simon Francis returns here from a three game suspension but in their last 11 games in all competitions they’ve conceded 26 goals… and that includes clean sheet wins over Leicester and Swansea. Also a 4-3 win over Liverpool and a 3-3 draw with Arsenal.

Wildcard’s Pick: 1-0 Bourney

Sunderland vs Tottenham Hotspur

Wednesday, 8.45am (NZT)

Deadline Day is on the horizon and Sunderland have been very busy. Here comes the big moves that make all the difference. Sam Allardyce managed it when he brought in Jan Kirchoff and a couple others in January. Now it’s David Moyes’ turn. Swing that bat, my son. Swing for the fences!

Oh dear God…

Poor old Erik Lamela, not only is he struggling to recover from the injury he picked up a few months ago but according to reports he’s now been struck again by the death of his beloved canine companion. Lamela’s dog Simba has been a mainstay on his Instagram account and the stuff I read didn’t specify how the dog happened to pass, whatever happened it’s pretty stink for a lad who’s had more than a couple setbacks this season – including having to rush back to Argentina when his brother was involved in an accident.

This in the same week that that Arsenal fans chucked up a banner celebrating Alexis Sanchez’s famous dogs. HAVE SOME RESPECT IN NORTH LONDON!

Wildcard’s Pick: Spurs 3-0

Burnley vs Leicester City

Wednesday, 8.45am (NZT)

The fourth best home record in the PL against the 19th best away record. That sounds roughly like a Burnley win ought to be on the cards and given that Leicester couldn’t get by Derby, albeit a decent Derby team, in the Cup that adds to that some more. Kinda makes you wonder if Claudio Ranieri is gonna start coming under pressure now, he’s starting wobbling with his formations and while last time he was a magician for harnessing a great team culture, his career in the past suggests he’s not the best at salvaging a troubled one. It’s a shame to see them struggling, but hey… they’ll always have last season…

Also, Algeria bombed at the African Cup of Nations, so they’ve gotten Riyad Mahrez and Islam Slimani back sooner than expected. Mahrez came off the bench in the Cup. Both are crucial players who can trouble that stingy Burnley defence. Not gonna bet on it though, the Clarets are doing some impressive stuff. They shoulda gotten a point off of Arsenal after winning that late spottie and wouldn’t you know it but Joey Barton looks rather decent in that midfield. Suddenly there’s a bit of depth in the midst of things there.

Check out Derby’s own goal here, it’s pretty hilarious. Darren Bent too if you were wondering what happened to that lad.

Wildcard’s Pick: 1-0 to Burnley, in keeping with trends

Liverpool vs Chelsea

Wednesday, 9.00am (NZT)

Jurgen Klopp: “In this moment we feel really bad. I feel responsible for this performance. I made a lot of changes and I thought we could do better, but we couldn’t. It’s not that I feel let down by the players, but I am still learning about what they can do. It’s very disappointing.”

Out of the FA Cup already and to a Championship side, out of the League Cup in the semi-finals just a few days earlier and now they have a massive game against the league leaders with bugger all momentum on their side. Not a good week for Jurgen, although it’ll all change with a win here (which every other team in England will be happy to see happen).

Come on now Kloppy though, don’t blame yourself. We all know what the big mistake was: they brought back in their bad luck omen.

Jurgen’s shown at times, like against Man United for one, that he can tweak his system to fit an opponent and you can guarantee they’ve done their homework here. It was their win over them back in October that sparked the 13 game win streak for Conte’s Company and it’ll be a very different Chelsea that they face here. Still, they’ve got it in them to create a few holes and take advantage of that. Lots of movement across the frontline, perhaps not the width that Spurs used to beat the Blues but they’ll definitely make it hard on the likes of Gary Cahill and David Luiz, testing their positional discipline and all that.

No surprises this is the biggest game of the midweek. Chelsea also play Arsenal at home a few days later so if they can take six points from that, defeating their two closest title rivals in the process (sorry Spurs, please prove me wrong) then it’d be hard not to think that everything that follows is all just going through the motions. With the way that Chelsea have consistently been able to take care of weaker teams where others have slipped up, they aren’t gonna drop the points needed for the rest to catch them. Arguably we need to see them lose twice to open the race back up (it’s only an eight point lead at the mo… but it could be as high as 14 soon). I’m really not sure that’s gonna happen… but let’s be optimistic, aye?

Wildcard’s Pick: Liverpool 2-1

West Ham United vs Manchester City

Thursday, 8.45am (NZT)

Dimitri Payet is a snake

He put his family first

His goals were lame, his smile was fake

His free kicks they were cursed

How dare he have a life outside

The mighty Hammers club

He owes the fans who he supplied

With all that pride and love

Get over it, West Ham. He came, he saw, he conquered and he got homesick and went back to his family. He’s a person as well as a free kick machine. You know what they say, buddy: remember the good times.

Which probably also means times when they aren’t playing Manchester City. The Sky Blues beat them 5-0 in this same fixture in the FA Cup and while they’ve been up and down and all over again, they did play some killer stuff against Spurs and I get the feeling and uptick in results is due. Especially against West Ham, who they match up fairly well with – the Hammers don’t have a dominating midfield that’ll take City’s under-talented lot (for their/Pep standards only). Also, they can be weak down the flanks and while this’ll be fun to see Jose Fonte and Winston Reid together for the first time, that’s not a partnership with a lot of pace and if they do get overrun in the middle (which might not happen, they’ve got some dudes there) then there’s a lot to fear.

Moral of the story being don’t underestimate City, no matter how depressed Pep Guardiola looks.

Folks, we’ve done a bad thing here. We’ve all slept on this Gabriel Jesus lad and now he plays for Manchester City and we’re all in trouble. Each and every one of us, this dude could be something absolutely special.

Wildcard’s Pick: City 2-0

Stoke City vs Everton

Thursday, 9.00am (NZT)

Yes, all praise to the wonderful footballing purists of Stoke City for finally rescuing Saido Berahino from his torture at West Brom. The transfer is complete, the freedom has been secured. Berahino is a footballer once again, hooray!

It was a service not only to themselves and to Saido, but to the sport as a whole. Now we might finally get to see what this lad is all about. Stoke could use a bit more pace up top and they could use someone who can play better than what Wilfred Bony’s served up so far.

Everton’s actually one of the four teams he’s already played against this season. He got 78 minutes before he was replaced in a 2-1 defeat in the second matchweek, picking up a yellow in the 26th minute. Also, he’s scored three goals in three games against the Toffees in the past so they’re a team he enjoys playing. A defence full of 30-somethings, doesn’t surprise me either.

Ronald Koeman seems to have the future in mind, despite every now and then coming up with a commanding result and sliding on up the table. Lots of young guys and he still hasn’t bought a proper goalie. He’s looking to next season and this is all set up.

On the face, Everton have the better squad and are in better touch (except when Stoke play Man United). I dunno though. I can see Stoke taking something here at home.

Wildcard’s Pick: 1-1

Manchester United vs Hull City

Thursday, 9.00am (NZT)

Look, I’m not always the most generous to Hull City. I don’t dislike them, it’s just hard to come up with too many positives when they’re such a dead-set relegation team. Since before the kickoff of their first game that’s been the case and while Marco Silva’s brought a little optimism, it ain’t enough yet. The transfer window’s not helping them much either. But goddammit I love me some Harry Maguire!

In other news, here’s a laugh from Warren Joyce, a man who had some enormous success as the Manchester United U23 manager and has since been swooped up by Wigan and he had some, erm, curious words to say about a few academy grads he’s worked with…

Warren Joyce: “The frustrating thing is seeing ones like Januzaj, Wilson or Federico Macheda get up to that level and stop doing the work they did to get them to that level. Not play the games, not train as hard, sit in jacuzzis and not do the same weights and sessions they did to get there. Those are the frustrating ones for me, because that could be avoided. You’re in football for sport, to be competitive and try to do your best and challenge yourself, so those things are on the periphery. You either want to be in a boyband in a pop star environment, or a footballer.”

PICK A LANE, LADS! GET OUT OF THE JACUZZIS!

James Wilson is a player who has a lot of talent but I can get on board with those thoughts. He’s currently injured but never quite took his chance under Louis Van Gaal (opening the door for Marcus Rashford to overtake him). He’s only 21, lots of time yet for him. As for Januzaj and Macheda, meh. At least they had their moments.

Didn’t these guys just play each other?

Wildcard’s Pick: 2-0 MUFC

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Written by Nick Robinson On Tagged ,