The Wildcard’s Premier League Predictions - Week 26
Last Week: 6/10
Overall: 131/250
Crystal Palace vs Middlesbrough
Sunday 4.00am (NZT)
She’s back, after a week off for most teams, a cup weekend distraction for others, the Premier League now begins to round the corner towards the final straight. Crystal Palace and Middlesbrough kicking us off, although there’s no early game this time for some reason. Dammit, I love the early games. Way easier to stay up than to get up, frankly.
Boro beat Oxford 3-2 in the FA Cup, so they’re not one of these teams who’ve been completely rested and off working in training camps or whatever. Palace are, but it remains to be seen if it’ll help them. To be fair, we saw a similar thing with Sam Allardyce at Sunderland last season where it took him a few weeks to click before the defence came into shape and the rest followed.
Boro are dreaming if they don’t think they’re a part of the relegation scrap as well - while Palace’s worries stem from some abysmal defence, Boro’s are from an almost religious hesitancy to attack. You’ve got Adama Traore doing some things and other than that there’s no flair at all and bloody little creativity. If they do sink back then 19 goals in their first 25 games sure hasn’t helped them. Only four wins as well, they’re staying afloat at the mo’ with a PL-best 10 draws.
One team can’t defend and the other can’t attack… it’s a stoppable force against a moveable object. Flippin’ great telly that’ll prove to be.
Wildcard’s Pick: 1-1
Hull City vs Burnley
Sunday 4.00am (NZT)
Well that was a tough month. Hull’s last four games came against Chelsea, Man United, Liverpool and Arsenal and somehow they got four points from those four games. That’s not bad at all for a team in their position. Beat the team with the worst away record in the league and they should climb out of the drop zone, even. But then… with the recent increase in form and acknowledging the difficult set of fixtures they just came through (which means easier ones to come), the Tigers have only won 2 of 14 games.
And Burnley are better than the team that lost on the weekend to non-league Lincoln City. They didn’t really turn up mentally for that game and you can always tell they’re unfocussed when Joey Barton starts acting like a moron…
Enough of that. Sucked to see Gudmundssen get injured, he’s a great player for them, but he’s a good chance to return here already. Steven Defour won’t be available but that’s why they signed Robbie Brady. The thing is, this Burnley away record is a bit of a red herring. They’ve been really competitive in a lot of those games and to only take one point from 11 games doesn’t reflect that at all. That point was at Old Trafford. Their last five away games have all been single goal defeats, the last four of those 2-1 defeats and all against strong teams (and Watford). Spurs scored their winner in the 71st minute, City had a man sent off and were far from comfortable (Pep made two HT subs in that one) holding on after Ben Mee’s 70th minute goal, Arsenal famously won with a 97th minute penalty and against Watford the Clarets had to play 84 mins with 10 men and still came mighty close.
Point being that the record isn’t what it seems and a win here away from home would not be all that unexpected. They’ve earned it after all that bollocks.
Wildcard’s Pick: 1-0 Burnley
Everton vs Sunderland
Sunday 4.00am (NZT)
Oh no it’s Davie Moyes at Goodison! Coming upon an Everton team that’s eight games unbeaten too. I dunno what the records are but I get the feeling that returning managers don’t do too well against their past teams. Probably because there’s a reason they’re their old teams. Also because those teams are like their teams but adapted to be better since they left so they’re at a level they can never achieve. Kind of. But I can’t be buggered looking up the stats, I’m just basing this on Sunderland smashing Allardyce and Chelsea smashing Mourinho and a couple others.
Sunderland have dropped to last. There’s only a two point gap between them and safety but honestly, how are they gonna save themselves? How can that even happen? They got worse in the January transfer window and they wouldn’t even still be here today had it not been for what they gathered up last January. Lessons not learned. Oh and then they went to New York for a training camp/bonding experience over the break and when they got back they announced a bunch of redundancies in the club. Nice one, fellas.
Romelu Lukaku ought to be enough here. Make him your fantasy captain. But don’t waste your triple captain chip on him, save that for when you’ve got a goal-scorer in a double gameweek.
Wildcard’s Pick: 3-0 to Everton
West Bromwich Albion vs Bournemouth
Sunday 4.00am (NZT)
Out of respect I do not currently consider Bournemouth to be a part of the relegation battle. However if they lose here and a couple of other results go against them then I will have to reconsider. Eddie Howe’s guys are the kind of team that could tear off three wins on the trot against anyone just like that so they’re tough to count out and I definitely don’t think they’ll go down but until they do something like that you can’t say for certain. I loved their approach of signing young guys with big potential in the summer however that looks a little too optimistic now and what they really need is some veteran leadership and depth, especially at the back. Even their manager is young and inexperienced.
Which makes them the exact opposite of West Brom who are entirely comprised of grizzly vets. Lots of experience, lots of good old fashioned football men. Also they’ve won six of their last seven home games, the one defeat coming to Manchester United. Seems a logical pick, this one.
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-1 to WBA
Chelsea vs Swansea City
Sunday 4.00am (NZT)
The Swans have won four of their last six, that’s not relegation form. That’s why they’re all the ways up at 15th suddenly when they looked dead and buried a few months ago. All the stuff that Sunderland are getting wrong, Leicester and Palace too, the Swans have figured out. Included in there are wins over Crystal Palace and Sunderland and you beat the teams around you at the bottom then you’re probably staying up – those are not only points won but points stolen from rivals.
After this week, Swansea will only have two more games against top six teams with three against the current bottom six as well. Yeah, they’re in good shape.
Just gotta get through this one because Chelsea do not drop points against weaker teams. If that defeat in the New Years against Spurs was supposed to be the blueprint for beating them in the future then that ain’t happened, mate, they’re undefeated in eight in all games since. Swansea got a draw off them in the Welsh-hosted fixture, a 2-2 draw, and they’re the only team to take points from the Blues from outside the top six. Shan’t be reoccurring in London, methinks.
Also there’s this to deal with:
How much fun is it gonna be seeing Chelsea against Man United in the FA Cup? Mourinho back at Stamford Bridge after getting annihilated last time he went there. Except now his team is good again, plus they’re the defending champs and more likely to force Chelsea into playing their top team.
M-M-M-MAGIC!!!
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-0 to Chelsea, naturally
Watford vs West Ham United
Sunday 6.30am (NZT)
Yeah, I mean… probably won’t watch this to be honest. Just not that interesting. Two mid-table teams who should be pretty damn chuffed with being mid-table teams and having little else to play for. The Hammers are the team with more upside but they probably won’t crack the European spots so… that’s about it.
Although the last time they played each other, it was a massively dramatic 4-2 win to Watford who came from 2-0 down to spark the victory. Should be some different lineups this time around, won’t be any lads named Payet, Zaza or Ighalo for one (three) things. Also Andy Carroll is out with a groin injury – sorry to break that one to ya.
Speaking of Carroll, get a load of his magical 5-a-side team, haha. Kevin Nolan his old roomie, Winston Reid his current BFF and then a couple Liverpool legends to remind everyone that he used to play there. He signed with the Reds the same deadline day as Suarez, don’t forget. And Shay Given because Liverpool’s goalies all suck and it was Given or Adrian. Presumably Sam Allardyce is the manager.
Speaking of Simone Zaza, this is what West Ham thought they were buying. He just did this to Real Madrid!
Wildcard’s Pick: West Ham 2-1
Tottenham Hotspur vs Stoke City
Monday 2.30am (NZT)
This is gonna be a big week for the top four race. Screw the title, that’s going to Chelsea unless we stumble into a very 2017 nuclear holocaust or some similar disaster. Even then, Diego Costa will probably still be out there banging in goals.
But the top four is about to get complicated because the League Cup final means that a Manchester Derby is getting postponed as well as an Arsenal trip to Southampton – meaning that Spurs have a great chance to put some more points on the board without the worry of those others keeping pace. The game in hand always represents some hope because it hasn’t been lost yet but there’s nothing better than getting the game out of the way with three points in the bank. Spurs are two behind City and tied with Arsenal at the moment. Win this and they’re second. Liverpool can also make a climb back up to third with a win away at Leicester.
And Spurs are looking sharp lately too. Having gotten a bit stale since beating Chelsea, they lost two in a row going down to Liverpool and then losing unfortunately to Gent, a game they could’ve taken 3-1 but instead lost 1-0. Only the away leg but it means that in between this being published and the Stoke game being played, Spurs are at Wembley in the return leg.
Which is where this gets tricky. They named a strong team against Fulham and it looked like a masterstroke as Harry Kane scored an FA Cup hat-trick, with a number of first XI fellas finding some form and confidence in the process. Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Wanyama, Eriksen, Alli and Kane all starting there. The trade-off for the shot in the arm that result gave them (even away to a lower-Championship side in the cup) was worth it… but three games in a week for some of these blokes might cause some vulnerability.
Against a tired team, you wanna hit them with pace. Not a lot of that in this Stoke team… hey maybe Saido Berahino will go hard against a team that tried to sign him not so long ago. It’s been almost a year since he last scored in the Premier League. Could be a key bloke if he does start, otherwise it’s tough to see Stoke doing much. Spurs may be leaving White Hart Lane next season and Harry Kane may have said that Wembley has an even better atmosphere but Tottenham are the only team yet to lose at home this Premier League season – with 10 wins outta 12.
Here are some FA Cup goals, enjoy.
Wildcard’s Pick: Spurs 1-0
Leicester City vs Liverpool
Tuesday 9.00am (NZT)
An away goal in Sevilla, tell you what I didn’t think at half-time that they were a chance of getting that one. Would’ve bet they’d lose at least 3-0 the way they were playing. Part of that comes down on Sevilla who missed a penalty in there and should’ve had twice the shots for their dominance but whatever Ranieri said in the sheds at the break, it did well. There were shades, only shades, of the old Leicester hitting hard on the break and using their pace to stretch defenders. Jamie Vardy even scored! Been a while since that happened.
A 2-1 defeat, with the away goal, that’s not a good result but it’s not a bad one either. Win 1-0 at home and they’re through. The optimism lives on for another couple weeks… except Sevilla are a brilliant cup team who’ve won three Europa League titles in a row. Unai Emery may be gone but they’ve retained a lot of quality players and you don’t get a reputation as a cup side if you can’t play away from home. Cannot see Leicester keeping them out in the return leg, cannot see Sevilla bottling it before the away crowd like Leicester did against Millwall in the FA Cup.
While most of the bottom few teams have had this invaluable two week period to train and train and train, Leicester have crammed in more losses. Liverpool are at the other end of the stick and they’ve had the break to weave some magic and you know that Klopp loves to train. This could be a revitalising fountain for the Reds, not only because of the complicated Kloppery that they’ve inhaled but also just not having to bust their arses playing games when their squad is already stretched and tired. This is exactly what they needed at a time where they were starting to slide.
Speaking of which, he club has announced a £50m move in training facilities from Melwood to Kirky (whatever that means). The youth teams already train at Kirky so part of this is uniting the club’s playing infrastructure.
Liverpool CEO Andy Hughes: “Our proposed plans to bring the first team and young players together in one location is a really exciting proposition. The scheme includes state-of-the-art facilities, which will be used to support the development of our players and provides all-weather training options. We are also working closely with Knowsley council on plans to make substantial improvements for the local community. We recognise that Melwood has played a significant role in the club’s success and forms an important part of our history. However, the Melwood site is limited in space and is unable to accommodate our longer-term ambitions.”
Also this happened. Now this… this is good news. How about a hug, son!
Wildcard’s Pick: Liverpool 3-1