The Wildcard’s Premier League Predictions - Week 36
Last Week: 8/11
Overall: 150/346
Watford vs Aston Villa
Sunday 2.00am (NZT)
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called football.
In the case of this game, that title may be a slight exaggeration. Granted, not as big of an exaggeration as it would be from the Pozzos if they were to sack Quique Sanchez Flores. Three wins in 17 games and a loss in the Cup to Crystal Palace the other day, sure. But they’re also going to finish well clear of relegation and they made the FA Cup semis. As I’ve seen pointed out elsewhere already, if those 3/17 had come at the start of the season followed by the form they showed in December (best of all being that 3-0 win against Liverpool) then none of this would be a problem. You have to look at it as a long term process, not a short term fix. Overall this has been a good season with plenty of room to advance into the next.
As well as that, it’s been a tough week for Quique, as mentioned in our Game of Thrones recap this week:
The last this he needs is to be stabbed in the back as well.
Luckily Watford have the bye this week. This should be a welcome three points if the squad is strong enough to bounce back from that Wembley disappointment. Villa stick in games for 45 minutes and then get bored, Joleon Lescott said that thing about a weight of the shoulders but really getting this Villan side out of the Premier League is a weight off all of our shoulders for having to watch them. They’re not trying, while there are three really talented teams in the Championship all scrapping for two automatic promotion spots: Brighton, Burnley and Middlesbrough.
For the record, here’s what the club has said:
“As the club has consistently made clear, no decision has been made on the future of Quique Sánchez Flores and certainly no decision will be taken until the club has held in-depth discussions with Quique. Those discussions will only take place once the season has finished. Quique has a two-year contract and the club would stress it is very happy with the job Quique and his staff have done this season.”
Nice and emphatic… which isn’t always the best sign.
Wildcard’s Pick: 1-0 Watford
Newcastle United vs Crystal Palace
Sunday 2.00am
Rafa Benitez seemed to enjoy his game against Liverpool, he was getting cheered by both sides. A bit like a reverse Mary Fellaini. Palace played one of their better games all year to beat Watford and advance to the FA Cup Final – can you even believe that? But the thing is, Palace have been playing much better for about a month now, probably starting with a game against Leicester that they ever should have lost. There’s bugger all depth there but that starting XI is very decent.
And yet in the league they really don’t have much to play for. Newcastle, on the other hand, have their very top-flight existence to play for. As to whether or not they’d deserve that, I dunno. Both teams have been playing some fairly standard footy with wingers and strong strikers and few goals but each has struck a bar of form at the right time as well. Hard to say, though I’m gonna leave it at evens.
Nil-all zero zero oops party over out of time
Wildcard’s Pick: 0-0
Stoke City vs Sunderland
Sunday 2.00am
Sunderland can win this one. They might have to. Stoke are really disappointing the way they’ve effectively given up this last month and probably can’t wait until the end of the season, whereas Sunders do not have that luxury – it’s definitely a luxury in this case. Odd that it came roughly about the time when Jack Butland got injured, wasn’t it? Since he suffered that season-ender on England duty, Stoke have drawn once at home to Swansea followed by three losses in a row in which they conceded four goals. 14 goals in four games, 12 in three. Liverpool 4-1 Stoke, Stoke 0-4 Spurs, Man City 4-0 Stoke. Those are three tough oppositions but that’s disastrous all the same.
Point being that Sunderland can look at this as a genuinely winnable fixture – they have to. Note that Jermaine Defoe has scored 10 of his 13 goals on the road which is pleasant.
Right now there is one point between Sunderland (31pts, -18), Norwich (31pts, -25) and Newcastle (30pts, -26). Newcastle have played one extra game. Here’s the run in:
Sunderland:
- Stoke (A)
- Chelsea (H)
- Everton (H)
- Watford (A)
Newcastle:
- Crystal Palace (H)
- Aston Villa (A)
- Tottenham (H)
Norwich:
- Arsenal (A)
- Manchester Utd (H)
- Watford (H)
- Everton (A)
Norwich’s stretch is the toughest, blatantly. Newcastle may have a game less but their next two are both extremely winnable and even that Spurs one will be a game against a team without Dele Alli (well, all those games are games against teams without Dele Alli but whatever) whose season will have effectively long since come to a close by then. Everton and Watford both play important games against both Sunderland and Norwich, see they may not have made the FA Cup Final but they still get a chance to be relevant all the way to the end. Tricky stuff.
If for any reason there is a loss in match pressure
Clubs will automatically drop down to apply more
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-1 Sunderland
West Bromwich Albion vs West Ham United
Sunday 2.00am
This one goes out to Andy Carroll:
I remember when they signed you, Andy
You were always injured, so they said
You were such a brutal thing
I loved the way you shot with that left peg
Big Sam was hardly nonchalant
He didn't want you to be misled
Pumping long balls to you, Andy
Scrapping with defenders ‘til they bled
You said, "But I’m just a striker and I'm
Looking for a goal to make my bread
But this Slaven’s such a hunk
So full of spunk"
You used your…
Head
In the six yard box
Head
Rising up above
Head
‘Til your forehead’s red
Head
Defenders filled with dread
Hey, shout out to Tony Pulis, playing the spoiler like he does best. Nothing on the line for WBA but pride and he can still get them to play the kind of structured, nine defender, all-in for the cause game that just ruined Spurs’ title chase. Never an easy team to play but I fancy the Hammers in a close one – Dimitri Payet cannot be contained, especially not if the fouls are flowing. I’m very confident of a West Ham goal from a set-piece.
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-1 WHU
Everton vs Bournemouth
Sunday 2.00am
Dig if you will the picture, of Bobby Montoliu Martinez.
The shadow of axing covers he.
Can you, dear reader, can you picture this?
Dig if you can a stadium
Goodison’s crowd in bloom
Centre backs strike curious poses
They feel the heat, the heat between win and lose
The fans, they made up their mind about Martinez ages ago but it’s taken a while for the mainstream to get behind it. There’s a reason for that. That reason is that by the eye test, Everton look like a good team – plenty to love about a team with Romelu Lukaku, Ross Barkley and John Stones, right? They play attractive footy and they’ve always got a couple dudes in the England team. And if they aren’t getting the results, well, they aren’t Man United or Arsenal. The neutrals don’t really care which arbitrary placing Everton ends in so long as it’s between 6-12. The Toffees fans do, though, and they see a team that is flimsy at the back, a team that is struggling to hold the ball like they can, and worst of all a team with three superb talents that are going to be driven away by this underachievement.
So, no, I don’t expect Roberto to still hold this job next season. For the sake of keeping those three stars engaged and committed, something needs shaking up and it’s easier to bring in a new manager than to spend big on players and have the same old dramas. The board are meeting about his future and this might be his last game in charge. Hey, but I hope he gets another gig in England coz with a different team he can still be a quality mid-table manager.
Both teams have had a few crappers recently. The reverse fixture was one of the games of the season with all sorts of late goals and drama in a 3-3 draw – although Everton did also knocked the Cherries out of the FA Cup, 2-0 away. Despite all the messiness with them recently, there was a 30 minute period in that semi when they fair ripped United to shreds and were unlucky not to go ahead. Lukaku’s missed penalty was a blow, an incredible save from David De Gea.
If Everton’s morale is broken then this could be a stinker. If they take the positives out of that then they’ll have too much in this one. One undercover storyline is that if Martinez goes, Eddie Howe will be high on the list of possible replacements.
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-0 Everton
Arsenal vs Norwich City
Sunday 4.30am
This… this is not an ideal fixture for Norwich. In a weekend where there are very realistic chances that both Newcastle and Sunderland can snatch victories, they cannot afford to lose ground this late. So the task facing them now is this: get something off of Arsenal at the Emirates.
The Gunners are vulnerable, sure, but less so at home. Though I am gonna throw in a not-so humble brag here that I picked them to draw with Sunderland last week in what was probably the best round of picks I’ve ever had – helped largely by some predictable midweek fixtures, to be fair.
Hmm but can Norwich do this? I’d like to think so, it’s just bloody hard to picture. Sounds like there’s an outside chance that Timm Klose is fit which at least helps. So too does the talk that yet another Arsenal fan group plans to protest at the match. Typical Arsenal fans, they’d still be grumbling if they won the title. Look, Arsene Wenger is your manager and if you axe him then things will get immediately worse, that’s the way of it. Live with that and hope for better injury luck next time because it was roughly around when Santi Cazorla was injured that the old Arsenal returned.
I was working part time in a midfield five
My boss was Mr Arsene
He told me seven times that he didn’t like my kind
Coz I was a bit too leisurely…
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-1 Gunners
Swansea City vs Liverpool
Sunday 11.00pm
Nope, Liverpool are not all that bothered with this game. They have one main focus this week and it came a few hours before publishing of this column. They looked pretty good too, right up until they leaked an injury time goal to lose 1-0. Villarreal will be fairly chuffed with that, no away goals conceded and a slight lead. The Reds will have to win at home, which they have to back themselves to do after that Dortmund game but it won’t be at all easy. That’s a huge occasion, it’s no Champions League but English teams need to stop underestimating the Europa League. Great to see Klopp giving it some importance.
As for the Swansea game, expect significant changes. Thing about that though… they’ve been winning despite significant changes recently. The Swans have done what they had to do after (unfortunately) sacking Garry Monk. That’s about it, they still aren’t too flash. Liverpool can take this.
And we'll try to imagine what it looks like
Yeah, we'll try to imagine what, what trophies look like
Wildcard’s Pick: 1-0 to Pool
Manchester United vs Leicester City
Monday 1.05am
You know, the idea that Leicester are lacking in title winning experience is a little false. It’s not exactly the same thing, but each one of the following players, all of whom have played major roles this season, were a part of the squad that ran away with the Championship in 2013-14:
- Kasper Schmeichel
- Wes Morgan
- Jeff Schlupp
- Danny Drinkwater
- Andy King
- Riyad Mahrez
- Jamie Vardy
That those players were all playing a division lower two seasons ago and now are on the verge of being champions is in itself quite amazing. But they played from in front that season. They lost just one of their last 27 league games and polished it all off with wins to nil in each of their last four matches. That Claudio Ranieri has been able to tap into that and translate it to this higher level is why he’ll be the Manager of the Year, no doubt.
These are the possible scenarios for this weekend:
- Leicester win – Leicester secures the title
- Leicester draw but Spurs draw or lose – Leicester secures the title
- Leicester draw but Spurs win – we’re still on for next week
- Leicester lose and Spurs win – thing open right back up again
- Leicester lose and Spurs draw – Foxes will be only a draw away
- Leicester lose and Spurs lose – the trophy is Leicester’s
Funny story: some dude put 50p on Leicester to win the League before the season started but inexplicably cashed out for 45p (a 5p loss, if you forgot your calculator) after the Foxes won on opening weekend. Why? Why would you bother recouping those 45p? Was that the difference between the kids going hungry that week? Madness. If they’d left the wager stand they’d be looking at a £2,500 pay day.
So here’s what I would like to see in an ideal scenario. Remember back when Claudio Ranieri was Chelsea manager, a good decade ago? And they sacked him because they didn’t think he could win the title? Well, if Chelsea beat Spurs on Tuesday morning then he will have. But even better than that would be if this thing drags out another week and they guarantee the trophy next game against Everton – it’d mean they don’t get to lift it at their own ground but who would they play the week after before the ceremony? Why, Chelsea at Stamford Bridge, dear chums. Now, that would be a slice of schadenfreude alrighty.
I do think that Man Utd are the kind of team that’ll give them trouble. Solid at the back with a deep defensive line, tough to find room there – especially without Jamie Vardy. Leo Ulloa did great against Swansea but there’s a difference between that and Old Trafford. Smalling and Blind just made Romelu Lukaku look average so Leo’s in danger there. Not sure if either team will have the push for a win, sorta feels like one that might cancel out like the last time they met. Still, for Leicester City now… it’s only a matter of time…
You don’t have to be rich to win the league
Wildcard’s Pick: 1-1
Southampton vs Manchester City
Monday 3.30am
Manchester City can beat Real Madrid in Spain. Saying it right now, if Ronaldo doesn’t play then they have every chance – I expect he will but then a score draw is all they need. That was a crap game but first legs often are, they set the table for those legendary second legs we’ve seen so many of. It’s all fit to burst at the Bernabeu… maybe they should call ZiZou’s tailor.
Is it really necessary for me to go out of the room
Just because you wanna undress?
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-1 City
Chelsea vs Tottenham Hotspur
Tuesday 7.00am
One thing for sure, Chelsea fans and even players are absolutely relishing the idea of ending Spurs’ title shot. And Spurs have to do this without Dele Alli and after that disappointing West Brom draw. West Brom were all about playing spoilers too, everyone’s ganging up on Tottenham and here they are the most exciting team to watch of all of them. They ought to be heroes and instead they’re the enemy thanks to the Leicester City thing. Which, I’ll say, in part comes down to the fact that none of those teams believe that Leicester can repeat the dose next season – which is condescending. So long as they keep their top players, I mean, why would they drop off? It’s been over 12 months now since they got on the highway and nobody’s come up with any idea how to run them down yet.
And lighten up on the Spurs being flaky jokes. They took this race further than any other team and by the time they finally stumbled, it was already close to over. Now it’s a matter of how well they respond to the impending heartbreak. It could be all over by the time they kick off. It will be by the end of next week.
I never meant to cause you any sorrow
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted to one time see you laughing
I only wanted to see you
Laughing
At White Hart Lane
Wildcard’s Pick: 1-1