David Warner is a wanker. David Warner is also a dickhead. And an arrogant prick. These are all acknowledged truisms, at least on this side of the Tasman. But, here’s a thought, maybe we don’t need to keep reminding him from the grandstands.

It’s a strange situation, that old terrace banter. The last thing I wanna do here is write some righteous letter of discipline and fun-busting, think of this more as an investigation of a confusing state of affairs.

We’ve all been there amongst the madness, taking it in, from those formative years of live fandom onwards. Sitting wide-eyed as those drunk dudes in front of you get progressively louder and louder and, in an abstract way, funnier and funnier. “Give us a wave, Astle, give us a wave!”

As time’s gone by we’ve mostly joined in on the joviality too. The beer’s expensive but the atmosphere’s intoxicating. Begging for every appeal, roaring for every wicket as the sun sets and the lights come on and the game steers itself towards another magnificent Blackcaps victory. “Bondy! - *clapclapclap* - Bondy! - *clapclapclap*”

It’s some of the most incredible entertainment on offer. Hey, we kiwis aren’t the best fans going around. Despite the fine efforts of the Yellow Fever (and a few predecessors) we still don’t have anything close to what they have in English football with the chants and the singing and the die-hard provincialism. Nor can we match the Americans for unashamed spectacle that they cater to the best (and worst) habits of their audiences. Not to mention the gleeful passion of Indian cricket fans, or the slightly dangerous passion of eastern European footy fans. But we still know how to have a good time and we don’t usually start moaning until afterwards. Blame the All Blacks, we’re so used to them winning that our expectations are pretty high for everyone else. Read the paper after any big sporting event, it’s usually about what didn’t go right, rather than what did. Even the World Cup win was met with only satisfied nods of approval from many people.

A day at the cricket is unlike anything else. It’s a contest that lasts seven hours for an ODI. Five days for a test, right. Most football sports (I refuse to use the word ‘codes’) you’re out the gates and heading back to the car or the train or the pub two hours after you first park your backside on that cold, plastic seat. But the cricket, now that’s a day long commitment.

With that comes an expectation to be entertained and the cricket, bless its heart, can drag on a bit at times. Sometimes there’s a compulsion to get the entertainment going yourself and there’s nothing wrong with that. A Mexican Wave is a trusted solution. An overused one, but whatever. Then there’s that interaction with the players thing.

This is the dilemma. It seems like there’s some sense of entitlement that comes with being a face in a crowd. Part of it is from having to pay for a ticket, it gives you that fair expectation that you’ll get your money’s worth for it. That happens to lead to a slightly troublesome feeling that the athletes you’ve come to watch are like monkeys in a cage, there to jump, run and catch for our amusement. In reality these are the world’s best proponents of what they do and we are paying to be witnesses to that as they do what they do.

It’s never worse than when the Aussies are here either. Sachin Tendulkar could be sitting on the sideline watching but a big screen appearance and the crowd would cheer in unanimity. A big screen viewing of David Warner, though… loud and enthusiastic booing. And that’s cool. Where we have to start wondering about crossed lines is when the abuse sets in.

There’s definitely the argument that as professionals there are things these guys simply need to deal with. That’s 100% true. This isn’t about hurt feelings on the boundary because I can guarantee you that David Warner couldn’t care less and neither could any other player. Especially the Australians who probably invented this whole thing. You drop a catch on the boundary and you’d be disappointed not to get slammed.

It’s more about the difference between what’s acceptable to say to someone from in a crowd and what’s acceptable to say to someone on the street. Is David Warner a wanker? Of course he is. Should we chant that out so that he can hear it? Maybe, maybe not. I mean, I expect I’ve gotten in on that stuff before – I’ve definitely had more than a giggle at it. But I’d never say that to someone’s face without expecting to either start an argument or get punched. And this is one of the tamer things that you’ll hear, just your run of the mill emasculating ribbing. We’ve all heard some genuinely vile stuff hurled at sportsmen and genuinely it goes unpunished. Now, bring your own food into Eden Park and the mafia will be down on you like vultures.

Look, I don’t really care. I’m not offended by it and neither are the players. Some children and parents may feel otherwise and that’s a legitimate complaint but there’s also a certain amount of stuff in a public arena like that which you’ve gotta expect. I’m not a huge fan of yelling at people while they work either but I do understand that being a professional sportsman isn’t exactly a regular job. Again, it’s just a weird phenomenon where abusing people suddenly becomes a laugh and a joke. Anything witty or intelligent and I’m the first to laugh. Anything that falls on the other side of it and I’m waiting for someone to tell that idiot to shut up.

I’m also not blaming the drink. Lots of people are drinking at these things. It helps pass the time. This is not caused by public drunkenness and anyway nobody is getting proper drunk on watered down beer at twice the price. People always blame the booze. It’s an easy excuse.

Last month there was that thing where Mohammad Amir came in to bowl to the sound of cash registers on the loud speakers. This is the same Mohammad Amir that is only just coming back from a suspension for match-fixing back when he was a vulnerable teen. Now, that’s not funny. That’s not even close to being cool. It was a cringeworthy thing to do and the fact that the Pakistani players didn’t care doesn’t make it alright.

Examples are worse in European football, where racism and sexism from the stands is a serious problem. There’s no denying that’s wrong. There’s no defending the sort of human garbage that think it’s okay to say the most disgusting things imaginable because one dude’s wearing a different colour jersey to the cut-price replica that they picked up online. Sport’s only sport no matter how much we love it.

Our problem is tougher because it’s not as clearly defined. Plus it’s actively encouraged by our mainstream media who like to spin everything they can into politely labelled boxes for easy consumption despite the risks. Not only do they give us the news but they tell us what to feel about it too – isn’t that a little unsettling?

In the third ODI between Oz and NZ there was that drama with the Mitchell Marsh dismissal. He chops it onto his foot and it bobbles up for a catch. We appeal, it’s given not out until the umpire decides he’d better take a look after a big screen replay looks inconclusive. He does and it’s given out. Marsh is allowed to feel hard done by and Grant Elliott is allowed to give him a send-off. Then Matthew Wade is allowed, in fact he is supposed, to back his mate up in the heat of the moment. That what he said was a double-standard (and that’s only supposing he doesn’t rate his teammates as cowards) doesn’t matter. You play as a team, if anything what Wade did should be commended. Instead we’re served a whole new dish of the same old narrative that kiwis play with sportsmanship while the Aussies are bullies and brutes. Don’t be deceived.

If you’re looking for a bold stance here, I don’t really have one. It’s a complicated issue and to be honest not a major one. I’m not writing clickbait here, I’m just trying to get my head around this thing. Sledging is perfectly fine, abuse is not. Like, why would it ever be? There shouldn’t be a point at which it’s fine to start ripping people’s family or their career of their sexuality or any of that. It’s the line between sledging and abuse that’s hard to pinpoint.

But in New Zealand, and especially NZ cricket, we seem to have a problem with sledging. That’s a dirty trick that the Aussies do and we’re so much better than that because we play in the right SPIRIT OF THE GAME and we play a wholesome BRAND OF CRICKET. Those are things that we take great pride in. Hey but listen to some of the words hurled from the stands and it’s easy to wonder if the message got lost somewhere in all the hypocrisy.