Reading this thingy from George Dobell about how a variety of decisions made by England Cricket Board culminated in England losing the Ashes in just three Tests, had me pondering what kiwis can take away from Australia torching England, in Australia, yet again. Of course, this started with similarities in weird decisions between ECB and New Zealand Cricket as well as stretching further into team selections and performances of individuals.

In that piece, Dobell highlighted how County cricket had been 'pushed to the margins of the season' and we have the same scenario in Aotearoa. Plunket Shield cricket is played at the start and end of the summer, when the moisture from winter is lingering and starting to permeate throughout Aotearoa. We don't really have spring or autumn in Aotearoa when it comes to cricketing conditions and four-day cricket is played on pitches that are suited to medium-paced seamers, who enjoy the nibble offered by juicy conditions for swing and seam.

Like England, this doesn't lend itself to producing faster bowlers who have to offer a point of difference on flatter pitches as is the case in Australia. Like England, there are exceptions to the status-quo in Adam Milne and Lockie Ferguson, but like England, these faster bowlers aren't deemed good enough to hold down consistent Test spots, or break into Test cricket. Aotearoa's best bowlers are Tim Southee and Trent Boult, prototypical kiwi bowlers and a fast bowler is highly unlikely to be selected over swing bowlers in Aotearoa as they simply aren't as good.

I've got many ideas on a solution and playing Plunket Shield cricket during the height of summer isn't unreasonable, when coupled with my theory of how crazy it is to play Super Smash during Blackcaps limited overs cricket and Big Bash League. Bowlers would have to find a point of difference to be effective in drier conditions; what does it matter when NZC's financials are viewed as the only marker of success?

That Aotearoa has only won away Test series against Zimbabwe, Bangladesh and West Indies since 2000, doesn't signal success. Winning a series away from home is an almighty task, yet there's not even a token series win against a decent Test nation and even since the vibe of the Blackcaps changed with Kane Williamson's arrival, Aotearoa have only won series' in West Indies and Zimbabwe.

Dobell highlights that ECB has placed a greater priority on making money than winning Tests overseas and the same goes for NZC. The profitability of these organisations should not be any sort of gauge of success (shows how weird our world is) and if you are concerned about the financials to that extent, winning Tests overseas opens all sorts of profitable avenues. Aotearoa are not an attractive proposition for other nations to host because they don't win too many Tests overseas, despite Aotearoa having the ability to punch above it's cricketing weight and be a super competitive Test nation around the world. Thus, resulting in Aotearoa punching above it's financial weight as well.

From there, I pondered the Ashes rivalry and the void I feel when an Ashes series is wrapped up. I love the Ashes because it's the fuckin' Ashes my bro, it's the ultimate Test cricket contest and something that us kiwis have never come close to experiencing. We've got a natural Test cricket rival in Australia that regular series against would be a huge boost for kiwi Test cricket, although Australia are busy with a bigger, better rival in England.

That's like hanging around with your older brother, trying to do the same things he and his mates are doing; he's your brother so it's right for you to want to hang with him but he's got better things to do.

This is the overall problem with Test cricket as the Ashes is the pinnacle and the Ashes only involves Australia and England. When India and Pakistan sort their political dramas out, regular Test series between them would fire Test cricket to all sorts of new levels - the rivalry is already there, to such an extent that it's kinda dangerous to play those Tests.

Everyone is talking about Test cricket's precarious position and it's most evident in the Ashes. All our judgements about Test cricket come from a place where only two teams are involved in such a Test cricket experience; only two groups of fans know what it feels like to follow such a Test series. No wonder T20 cricket has exploded and Test cricket now appears excessively stagnant.

The point here is that Aotearoa needs a rival (just as all non-Ashes nations need some sort of rival). We need a Test series that pulls the whole country together, which will in-turn pull in sponsors and big broadcasting money for NZC. Again, this is because Aotearoa doesn't have anything close to a rival; we haven't even got close to exploring the real joys of such a Test series as fans, players and business-wise.

Given how many South Africans call Aotearoa home and how many are playing domestic cricket in Aotearoa, I'm throwing up Aotearoa vs South Africa as the ideal Test series. This can naturally piggy-back from rugby's immense history and funk between the two nations, which could get incredibly spicey if these talented kiwi-Africans continue to have a presence in the Blackcaps (there's going to be many more).

There is natural sporting niggle between Aotearoa and South Africa, so without the kiwi-Africans there would be angst and tension, with those kiwi-Africans, shiver me timbers.
Aotearoa doesn't play five-Test series, we're too cool for that and it's unrealistic to squeeze five-Test series into the international calendar. A three-Test series would suffice, one series every two years, perhaps even one series each year and this contest would be the type to stop cricket fans in their tracks in both countries, while luring in casual fans who want to be part of the buzz. Build a stuff around the series as well like tours, traveling fan groups and you can even play on that rugby rivalry as much as is most beneficial.

As for a name for the series? Leave a comment on Facebook with some ideas and by the time Aotearoa next play South Africa, I'll ensure that this has a name, or at least something that we can call it. Because, I can't trust NZC to come up with such a smart idea, I don't know about South Africa but I definitely can't trust the ICC either.

This has to come from fans, you and I.

If we're all on-board this Aotearoa vs South Africa Test cricket battle and are able to generate hype and buzz around any series between the two nations, then South African fans might catch on. If we can generate a certain level of hype and buzz, then the decision-makers who are apparently paid big money to make such decisions, wouldn't be able to ignore the opportunities offered by such interest in a series from kiwi cricket fans.

As a kiwi, I love the Ashes. I love Test cricket, so I love the Ashes and I love how much a Test series means to either nation.

As a kiwi, I'm sick of watching the Ashes. Sick of watching others have so much fun, while we twiddle our thumbs and wonder how to save Test cricket.

I love the Ashes and hate how the Ashes makes me feel as a kiwi Test cricket fan.

I want to feel what those Aussies and Poms feel during the Ashes.

I want to feel the intensity of *insert Aotearoa vs South Africa Test series rivalry name here* cricket.

Hit an ad if you're feeling that idea and drop your feedback on Facebook, power to the people.

Peace and love 27.