Sometimes the Diggity Doc and the Wildcard talk to each other...

Diggity Doc - What is the world coming to el Wildcardo? So many dumb people doing dumb things, who's your pick of the Dumbo Of The Week?

Wildcard - Ah, now Doc, you offer an interesting question there. There's been stupidity left, right and centre this week, even more than usual. My 'Dumbo of the Week'? Hmm. I sit cheating if I say the entire nation of Australia? I'd bet you can guess why too.

DD - We have a winner! You hit the jackpot there mate, I just don't know what the fuck Australia is up to? I don't really want to dwell on their stupidity because there's far more cooler stuff to talk about, but I do want to touch on some stupidity much closer to home with this ongoing NZ Football situation. Have they just been super duper dumb?

WC - Not so fast on Aussie there, Doc. We don't have to dwell on it but it can't go by un-marvelled at just how racist things are over there. This is an actual headline I read in an actual Australian newspaper: "Adam Goodes should apologise, says mother of girl who called him an ape". Let that sink in for a second.

Now, as any good lawyer knows, the best way to win over a jury isn't to present a telling, convincing argument... it's to discredit the witness. Because people are stupid when they find themselves in disorganised groups. So here's another quote from that same article: "She’d only turned 13 five days beforehand. She was technically still 12. She had no idea what she was saying." No, lady. She was technically 13, because she turned 13 five days earlier.

And to any dumbass with the nerve to call Adam Goodes "Un-Australian" (the most vile insult imaginable...), just remember that the dude is Aboriginal. He's more Australian than you are, moron.

Anyway, NZ Football. Oh yes, they have been super dumb. And then some. And the more this drags on, the more clear that becomes. Honestly, heads should be rolling. This is actually an incomprehensible disaster when you look at how they seem to have overlooked the very rules that they'd been using to their advantage for a decade (Winston Reid, Tommy Smith, etc.). I've heard there was a pretty drastic staff turnover over the last year or two with the new chairman and coach, perhaps they oughta try that shuffle again.

DD - Ah well I tried to move on ... and notice how the majority of the people who are kicking up a fuss about Goodes' actions, are all middle aged white folk? It's extremely easy for them to brush this off because they have never experienced any sort of racism, let alone being treated in a what can only be called a disgusting manner ever since white men arrived on Australia.

Oh well, it's good to watch from the sidelines because it is Australia and it's pretty clear that they have a few issues. The extent of this anti-Goodes outcry just shows where Australia currently sits and while obviously it isn't the vast majority, there's still some creepy racial issues in Australia.

I mean, those people with jobs in NZF's office, that's probably their number one role to suss out eligibility and all that. Yet somehow they have messed up big time and this also comes at a horrible time because you and I both love the vibes around the All Whites and the Football Ferns, we had the Under 20 World Cup which was awesome. We've got more #FlyingKiwis than ever and yet the people who have ruined all this momentum, are NZF themselves!

WC - Dead right there, Doc. Middle-aged white men like... Shane Warne. Who denies that the jeering is racist. What's been noticeable for me is something that hasn't followed this. Where are all the voices of support? It seems like his team and the AFL wanna play it all down and wait for it to disappear, the only way to deal with this is harshly and swiftly. Instead while there are plenty of clever articles out there, most of the support seems to be coming from fellow indigenous players, which then adds to the us vs them thing as far as the racists are concerned. And the spear throwing gesture getting slammed too... that actually makes me feel relieved that we've embraced the haka in Aotearoa.

The best course of action for us in the NZF thing is probably to let it simmer and try not to go wild until the appeal comes back denied and they have to face the consequences of being bad at their jobs. I don't believe the number that the NZ Herald are floating around, where they think 16 or so players across the age grades could be ineligible, because some of them will eligible under different criteria (and also, it's the Herald. Love 'em, but they don't do research well). Still, it's beyond clear that shortcuts have been taken in a situation where that should never be the case. We don't have that luxury. Oh and we also have to play South America in our World Cup qualifying playoff (should we make it that far) so... bad to worse. We coulda really used that Olympic tournament.

DD - Yeah, how about that - every time a Maori player/person did a haka, all us white folk started booing? How shit would that be? Well that's exactly what's happening in Australia.
I'm going to go one further and say that there is very much a case of us and them, it's clearly evident in Australian society and has been so for yonks. At the very least, it's good that this issue is getting the spotlight but damn, it's not going how I would have hoped.
It's a bummer on all fronts isn't it? At least the Wellington Phoenix won't do anything super stupid over the next few months ... right?

Every week we've touched on EPL football and with the start of the season right around the corner, why would we stop? From you mate, I want the top five things you're most excited about...

WC - Nah, the Nix are clever, though that's more than you can say for their former keeper Griffin McMaster, who suggested that maybe Goodes needs to be deported. To where, son? His people have been in that country thousands of years longer than yours, ya muppet. Although it's dumb to link him to the Phoenix seeing as he never actually played an A-League game for them as far as I can tell. Played 16 times for the Roar, however.

But now for the fun stuff. Five things I'm most excited about for the Premier League:
1) Being able to watch quality football again, specifically Man Utd but also in any form it takes.
2) My inevitable triumph in the Niche Cache Invitational fantasy league (knocking on wood).
3) Some Flying Kiwis exploits (okay, only one is in the EPL, but close enough).
4) Jose Mourinho's mind games.
5) Liverpool's eventual failures.

DD - I'm rocking with ya on our Flying Kiwis because we've got plenty doing the rounds this season. If you had to pick one of our Flying Kiwis that people should keep an eye out for who would it be?

WC - Well, Marco Rojas has really fallen off the radar for a lot of people after injuries and the usual adapting issues never really got him much of a chance the last couple years. But he had a good spell for the last half of last season at FC Thun and now he's back there on loan and getting good minutes too. Consistency seems like the key for him. If he's getting it, there could be great rewards. He's already shown that he's good enough. Plus Winston Reid is at the highest level, check him out and also it'll be interesting to see how much Chris Wood plays for Leeds. Remember the days when Ryan Nelsen was the only kiwi playing at the top level out there?

DD - I agree on all fronts but especially Woodsy because he's a new recruit for Leeds. They have obviously/hopefully brought him in for a reason which is a positive sign and maybe not being in the Premier League could be a blessing in disguise. A bit more game time, more goals etc is what he needs and Leeds could be the spot for him. How do you feel about these reports that Eto Nabuli could be leaving your Dragons?

WC - Argh, bloody hell. This is the first I've heard of it. But I'd be surprised if he leaves since he only signed an extension a couple of months back and is scheduled to make his return from injury in the NSW Cup this weekend. Not too surprised though, because this is the NRL and players get released from contracts all the time and he's not exactly a solid first grader. It'd be a shame to lose him coz he's a great story and a promising player but the Dragons have bigger problems. On the subject of leaving the Dragons, condolences/shout out to Dan Hunt, that teddy bear of a prop, who's had to retire after repeated injuries. His last one was doing his knee at Nines this year. Pretty stink how careers can go that way in sports, but maybe there's a silver lining. He's got more time to get back to his comedy duo stylings with Beau Ryan now, maybe he'll remind Beau how to be funny again.

So, the Blackcaps are on in Zimbabwe on the weekend, but before that is Joseph Parker's fight on Saturday night against Australian Bowie Tupou. Now, we've both gone along with the whole easing into of Parker's pro career, now it seems like we could be rewarded with talk coming strong from JP's camp that he wants to fight Deontay Wilder! I mean, there we go!

DD - Yeah apparently Nabuli could be heading to rugby mate so it's an odd one for the Dragons.

Well it is nice to talk about wanting to fight whoever but I will believe it when I see it. It could work though as Wilder might want to fight an up and comer, kinda like how Parker's camp are hand-picking these fights to suit him. It will all be up to Wilder though won't it and hey, David Bowie Tupou could do something cray cray and beat Parker which would be a spanner in the works wouldn't it?

WC - It's definitely all talk at this stage. Wilder probably doesn't see Parker as a challenger quite yet but as far as I'm concerned, just hearing Kevin Barry dropping real names out there is a massive step forward in the legitimacy stakes. Bowie Tupou will be his toughest test yet, however I reckon Joseph has so much more to him then we've seen so far that I still think it could be another blindsider. You never know though. This dude fought Bryant Jennings just a couple years back, the same Jennings who took Klitschko to 12 rounds. Granted, the fight was stopped in the fifth...

DD - Lol, I think Parker will walk all over him which is why it's not super exciting for me. Any quick fire thoughts on the Blackcaps?

WC - Just that it'll be really nice if Sky TV can get the rights done for the Zimbabwe games so we can watch them. Doubt it's that simple for a series like that though. Supposing we get to watch them (they usually do figure something out and get these things done), it'll be a great chance to see the national cricket team play with an open mind. No judgements, clean slates. Let's see what lads can do.

DD - Maybe Sky TV need some peptides? That might help them compete with my homie the internet? I gotta roll, gotta go play some coconut style Age Of Empires.

WC - Well we know they need some peptides, just look at Steve McIvor (who literally flinched when Joe Parker started shadowboxing during an interview the other day). Me, I usually play AoE as the Mongols but either way I reckon we can take down those Aussie Battler civilizations. Onwards to victory, Doc.