Kia ora to the Wildcard. You sir, like that old monster that is Game Of Thrones, much like myself and Sons Of Anarchy left me hungry ... like when you eat a large double whopper combo, but need more. I need my GoT fix, I need to at least think about it or talk about it while I twiddle my thumbs. Which I'm sure Tyrion Lannister is doing on board that boat in that crate, little stubby thumbs. That's a key storyline that is up in the air, but I'm low key wondering what on earth is going to happen to Bran Stark within that creepy tree. Which character/situation has you up at night, giving you nightmares as you try connect the dots?

Howdy Doc, yeah well that's why you really oughta stay clear of those double whopper cardiac burgers. You feel hungrier for having eaten them than when you start. Me, I reckon GoT is more like a narcotic dependency: a massive rush for about an hour a week that leaves you a nervous, stuttering wreck for the rest of the time. I'm making good use of my brief sobriety by charging through some other quality telly and the odd movie but Doc I can feel a relapse on the cards...

Unfortunately we're probably gonna have to wait until around April to actually see what happens but there's one small advantage that I have over you there. I've read the books.
Well, not all of them, I've avoided the most recent one so far and George R.R. Martin did this weird thing over them where books 4 & 5 kinda happen simultaneously, with some characters only in one, some only in the other. So I have no idea what Tyrion was doing in that box (or Baldy McEunuch for that matter), but I have zero worries about waiting for that one. Poor Tyrion's been through far too much recently and you just know that as soon as he gets out of that box he's probably in for some more. Rest well, Tyrion, you'll likely need the strength. Bran Stark, too, is waaaay ahead of the books where I'm up to. I actually read a rumour that he might not even be in this series - probably not a massive loss. Not sure about nightmares, but I can say that Arya's storyline gets pretty badass and that's the one I'm most looking forward to. Any nightmares/sweaty anticipation on your part, Doc?

It's left me a nervous, stuttering wreck for a couple of months now! Not a fan of the double whopper? I love that shit, if anyone wants to challenge me eating a full pounder (4 1/4 pounders in 1) i'll take em' ... well at least try.

So you can't tell me everything that happens? That kinda sucks, but I'm not sure I want to know what happens to Kings Landing following Tyrion's departure. Nor do I won't see my dear Bran dissapear, so I'm hoping we get to peak in to the basement of that errie tree. To be fair they pale in comparison to Arya, the strong willed young lady who I can see growing in to a dominant force of Westeros ... maybe an all female final between Arya and Khalessi?

You reckon you could take Fat Samwell of the Night's Watch?

Fat Samwell wouldn't have a chance. But I do think that he and Jon Stark have a fair role to play in the next season...

That they do... as well as I can remember anyway. Samwell definitely has a role to play. Goddammit, I think I'm gonna have to watch the last episode again, I'm forgetting things. I can tell ya that a bunch of new characters are gonna come in if they stick to the book/script. Remember the lad got his face crushed and his eyeballs popped by The Mountain? His family didn't take too kindly. Oh, and one of said family members is Keisha Castle-Hughes! I'm trawling the casting notes for clues, aka I'm on wikipedia, and here are a couple nuggets to store away. A) confirming the other thing: "Both Isaac Hempstead-Wright (Bran Stark) and Kristian Nairn (Hodor) will be absent this season because their part in the story has reached the end of A Dance with Dragons." B) "Charles Dance, whose character died in the previous season, will return to portray Tywin Lannister's corpse."

Returning to play a corpse? Good work if you can get it. Hope he's working on techniques to hold his breath as long as possible, I wonder how many retakes they do on this show. As good as he was last season, this could be a career pinnacle for Charlie, how many people have convincingly played a corpse before? (zombies/vampires don't count)

You mean the guy who did the ultimate Glenn Fisi'ahii celebrating a wee bit early? ... and then got destroyed in one of the most violents acts on the show? Yummy, I can't imagine his whanau (get it?? Salute Keisha Castle-Hughes) would be too pleased with that. Unless it's a full scale war, I'd still rather see dear Bran. Do you think this is GoT trying to chime in on the zombie love we seem to have? Like, just throw in a zombie! I don't know, that would be pretty weird and would it be a safe assumption that dear Tyrion wouldn't be the safest bloke to hang around? I call bullshit, but good research lol.

Hahaha, The Fish! The Red Viper did a Fish! Love it. I think Bran's meant to be training to become a shape-shifting, mind-controlling, psychic Messiah, which apparently takes time, hence the Hodor-shaped hole in our upcoming viewing. And by the sounds of it, there's much less party time on that course than you'd get with an AUT degree. Also, pretentious book reader rant upcoming... where the bollocks was Coldhands!?! Has he been written out? That destroys a theory that I had about him, which sucks.

Anyway, back on course, I hate zombies. Zombies reached their logical conclusion with the brilliant 'Shaun of the Dead'. Every example since has been nothing more than teen fiction. And GoT is far beyond that. The more supernatural the show gets the more it destroys it's own rule book which is frustrating to predict and it also kinda goes away from the very human issues that made it so compelling to start with. Not that they've given any indication on an impending decline. Pretty sure they mean corpse literally as well as far as Dancebags is concerned. Tywin gets a state funeral if I remember. It's those ice zombies up north that are throwing me...

Well at least the Fish didn't do a Red Viper, that wouldn't be too good. So would Bran's mystical powers at the end of this mystical journey we won't see, be the limit of your eerie fairy tank? I agree though the human emotions etc form the basis of the story despite them belonging to these crazy folk. It will all be sword fights and fire breathing dragons ... oh those lunatics from the naughty north. Do you see any good coming from them? Or just death?

Nah, I like Bran. All power to the lad. Umm, I really don't know about the Ice Zombies. They keep teasing them near the end of each season yet we've never really learned anything more about them. There was this one scene I think in the last season where we got a glimpse inside their inner society that I remember nothing about other than something about a baby. Which I assume links up with Old Master Craster, the guy in the cottage who left his baby sons out in the snow and married his daughters. The books all told from character POVs, so that was a completely new vision. But I've heard that the GoT showrunners, David Benioff
& D. B. Weiss, are two of the only people in the world who know how it'll all end. Probably for insurance reasons.

Do you think it's the perfect time to bring them in to the spotlight a bit then? Like one mystical storyline goes on the back burner for a bit while the ice zombies get some love? I reckon the baby in question will form some sort of bridge between the zombies and the humans of Westeros, that's what he/she is right? That scene where he/she got touched by an angel so to speak, had to have some greater importance ... or it was just 'the ice zombies are coming, they'll fuck up your babies so be scared'

I'm thinking the baby actually is one of Craster's inbreds. What happens from there is anyone's guess. Which does make it a he, since the old creep married his daughters. One got away though, along with a son and Tubby Sam - maybe he's the one that got away? Which reminds me of something kinda massive that's gonna happen that's best not spoiled. Goddammit. Hey you know how Winter Was Coming way back in season 1? Did it ever arrive? Or is it waiting on the ice zombies for the hint? They were telling us 4 years ago that it was gonna snow terribly and then Sean Bean lost his head and they quit hammering that one home.

There's two ways you could take it I reckon - the winter = the ice zombies. Or the winter is a weird metaphor for the rise of Jon Snow. Now that would be a spanner wouldn't it!? We've kind of been moulded in to thinking that the 'winter' is going to be this thing (the ice zombies) but who knows. Right now, who do you think poses the biggest threat to Westeros - 'winter' or Khaleesi?

Ooh, I love that Jon Snow idea. The fourth book gets into some of these really cryptic dragon prophecies which kinda mean nothing without a lil more info, but it's pretty clear that at some point Daenerys and her dragons are headed for Kings Landing and Westeros. Except that for now she's busy learning how to be a queen and wasting our time in the process. I'd say she's a threat but I also on one hand want her to win. A Dany & Jon monarchy is the best possible outcome, right? That's a pipe dream for now given how far away they each are from their respective triumphs but hey, it's a fantasy series, right?

It is a fantasy series, so I'm going to go back in to hibernation with images of Khaleesi ... the dragons can stay locked up though. I'm serious, so I'll see ya later sometime when I come up with some new fantasies. May the confusion of a game about thrones continue to haunt you.

Oh don't you worry about that, I'm most certainly haunted. Just make sure you turn the age filter off on google images. 'Til we meet again, Doc.