Game of Thrones: Season 6, Episode 8 – No One
Wildcard:
Who blinded the cyclops in the cave? No one. Well, actually it was Odysseus but he told the cyclops his name was ‘no one’ and so when the other giants asked who had stabbed him in the eye with a large stick, the cyclops said ‘no one’ and they left the matter be. See, it was a trick.
As to what exactly Jaqen H’ghar was getting at when he said that Arya/A Girl had finally become no one, I’m not so sure. A girl has finally become no one… no, a girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell and she’s going home. Is it a riddle? By becoming herself after it all does that make her no one now? I’d have thought that by killing the waif – oh yeah, she totally killed the waif. Managed to lure her to her chambers and dashed the lights with needle. Cut to black, then next thing we see the waif’s face in the death dungeons and Jaqen wandering over to take a peek. The whole sequence was a little less than it could have been with the waif (/Luka Modric) chasing her through the streets and constantly stopping to glare as soon as Arya stumbled. Evil henchmen, they never learn. Take your bloody chance or someone will slice your face off and hang it in the halls. For a trained assassin, the waif was completely useless. Couldn’t kill an unarmed girl last time, this time she can’t finish off the same wounded teen. Blood dripping all over and she can’t catch her in a footrace. No wonder Jaqen didn’t care that she’d died.
But it’s all over now. Jaqen gave Arya the slightest of nods suggesting that the Many-Faced God got his name and that name was… no wait, the waif doesn’t have a name. Maybe that’s what Jaqen meant about Arya, that she was no one because she’d slipped her own promised death.
For a while there it looked like the acting career might be taking off but of course Lady Crane then got brutalised. Although that might just mean that Arya gets her pick of playing Cersei or Sansa in the play, hey she pretty much wrote the end of Cersei’s big soliloquy. Maybe HBO can get her to write some of her own scripts as she heads west and we might get a better payoff. It’s not that the chase through the streets wasn’t good telly, just that it didn’t exactly carry the resonance that it should have after all Arya’s time in training. Her killer move was a slick one, though.
Which all made me think that generally the payoffs aren’t that interesting ever. Usually they’re more like a relief than a reward, unless it’s one of those shocking death twists. The magic is in the suspense, after all. So with that in mind, I’m kinda glad that they’re pivoting away from the so-called Clegane Bowl. Sandor went and caught up to those banditos and he wreaked havoc upon their skeletal systems. Yes, there was blood and lots of it, but the Orson Welles looking bastard wasn’t there, he found him later getting hanged by the Brotherhood, who were pretty pissed that he and his cronies had been out spoiling their good name. A return for Thoros the Drunken Priest and Beric ‘More Lives than a Cat’ Dondarrion. Good fun all round, Sandor finished off the hanging and then was probably persuaded to join them on a quest north to battle the on-coming winter. Which also means Lady Stoneheart is surely done with, which is fine by me. In the books she works as this lingering figure on the periphery but you can’t do that on telly. Especially given how long has passed between the Red Wedding and now – it’d be Chekhov’s unloaded gun.
As Thoros and Beric say, there is a bigger reason for Sandor to stay in the tale and while we thought it was to slay his brother in combat and doom Cersei, we’ll have to wait and find out as always.
Hey, Cersei doesn’t need any more help dooming herself, the High Sparrow and her little boy are doing a fine job of that. If anything, she was the ‘No One’ in the title as she wasn’t even told of the royal announcement before it happened even though it directly affected her case. Then she was relegated to the docks to hear how Trial By Combat was being eliminated from the realm. Which, like, fair enough. That was always a crazy thing.
Oh Cersei… why did you let them see the strength of FrankenMountain? Was it really worth it? Not once the seven septons start their judgements. Also, the Mountain ripped the head clean off a person. She chose violence, sure, but even still…
Say, Tommen’s really gripping that throne tight now, isn’t he?
I know, let’s lighten the mood with a joke:
Three lords walk into a tavern, a Stark, a Martell and a Lannister. They order ale. But when the barkeep brings them over, each of them finds a fly in his cup. The Lannister, outraged, shoves the cup aside and demands another. The Martell plucks the fly out and swallows it whole. The Stark reaches into his cup, pulls out the fly and shouts: “Spit it out ya wee shit, spit it out!”
Haha, those cheap-ass Starks. Always trying to squeeze that last drop. Oh, and Tyrion’s interrupted joke? He says: “I once walked into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass. The madam says…”. Mate, that’s an old one. Well, season one old anyway when he told a very similar joke that also didn’t get to the punchline while held captive by Catelyn Tully. Such a tease. I think the madam’s supposed to say something, like, boy that’s one sweet ass or something along those lines anyway and then Tyrion says ‘that’s what I was gonna say!’
Tyrion, Missandei and Grey Worm haven’t been the best of company to each other. Not a lot in common. But Tyrion finally cracked the ice with his jokes and his wine, pretty soon everyone was laughing – even Grey Worm whose idea of a joke was to pretend he doesn’t know what a joke is.
Although it has to be said that the best comedian on the show is Sandor Clegane by a large distance. He was just one witty quip after another this week, Dorothy Parker if Dorothy Parker looked like the exact opposite of Dorothy Parker.
The Wit and Wisdom of Sandor Clegane:
- “You're shit at dying, you know that?”
- “We all bloody die… except this one here.”
- “You’re getting old Clegane” “He’s not.”
- “Got anything to eat?”
- “Lots of horrible shit in this world gets done for something larger than ourselves.”
- “Why? Ha! I beat you because I'm better than you, Beric. I was better than you before you started yammering on about the Lord and I'm better than you now.”
Unfortunately the Meereenese merriment (Missandei really seemed to like the wine) was spoiled when the masters turned up with boats that shot fireballs and started smashing up the city. Dany returned just in time except that she jumped off the dragon and let it fly away. Umm… why not burn the ships up with Drogon? Might be dangerous but then so is sitting in a pyramid that’s currently being fire bombed. Bloody Dany and her weird entrances. Anyway, she’s got her work cut out now because Tyrion did this thing way better than her and he’s failed in a fiery heap. I vote for… running the hell away. But that’s just me.
Wait, doesn’t she have an army of Dothraki now? Pity they’re afraid of the water.
This was a perfectly fine episode, albeit not the one we thought we were getting, but most of the big reveals ended up as anti-climaxes. Cersei found some strength and then had it taken away. Arya killed the waif in the dark and they let her go just like that. Sandor hanged the bugger and then stole his boots before he’d stopped swinging all within two scenes. And Riverrun.
Yup, the siege at Riverrun ended not with a bang but a whimper, though it took some finagling to get there. First Brienne arrived and had a few moments with Jaime, who let her keep her sword. It was a pleasant little scene, Jaime congratulating her on finding Sansa and Brienne coming up with a compromise that’d suit both of them. Sadly, it didn’t suit the Blackfish who refused to march north with his army to fight with Sansa at the expense of his home.
The stuff with Jaime and Brienne was so loaded because it took us back to Jaime at his most vulnerable and likeable. It was with her in the wake of losing his hand that he really started reckoning with himself and all that he’s done. But then he went back to Cersei and started getting reckless again. Jaime is presented as the Prince Charming of the show but he began as a villain by throwing Bran out of a window. Typical Thrones turning fantasy clichés on their heads.
But actually, does Jaime consider himself a decent man?
Thing is, Jaime really is a pretty decent and honourable. At least in the last few seasons he has been, but since long before that he’s been haunted by his Kingslaying legacy. A couple of times in this ep there were characters balking at the idea of his ‘word’, only Brienne who know him better than most seemed to accept it. He killed the Mad King for a reason: he was mad. And he was going to burn the city to a crisp with masses of wildfire – as we saw in Bran’s flashback a few weeks back. They don’t have PR teams in Westeros though, just slander and rumours. Most people never even get a second chance.
Jaime’s chat with Edmure was the best scene of the episode. It began with Jaime getting scoffed at again for offering his word and pretty soon Edmure wanted nothing to do with him and his recollections of his sister. But you could see Jaime’s intentions change as the scene went on. I said before he’s been acting reckless but this scene was a watershed one for Jaime. He admitted that he loved Cersei. He admitted that he admired Catelyn. In a lot of ways, this was his true redemption. He stopped caring what anyone else thinks and finally admitted, to himself more than anything, that all he cares about is getting back to Cersei. So that’s what he’s gonna do.
He released Edmure on the provision that he resign the castle once they let him, as proper Lord of Riverrun, inside the gates. The Blackfish could see it was a trap but Jaime’s words had gotten through to the rest of the men and they weren’t so keen on a two-year siege that’d inevitably end in their own deaths. The Blackfish was probably feeling a little guilty for dodging the family massacre at the Red Wedding so he didn’t care so much. He helped Brienne and Pod to escape and then drew his sword and wandered off to his demise. So many people on this show sacrificing themselves for pride and honour, those silly muppets.
Jaime is in win-now mode. No thinking towards the future, no acquiring assets or consolidating his place. Nope, he’s all in for the championship and that makes him a dangerous man. It also makes him less useful to others and the way it’s going, I had this feeling a few episodes back but now I’m at least 50% sure that he won’t survive the season.
We saw no Jon and Sansa this week, so no answer to that letter, but we did learn that the army of Riverrun probably ain’t gonna help them. Next week is the Battle of the Bastards. Next week is going to be massive. When you think about it, there aren’t many storylines that need much more work this season. There’s a dilemma in Meereen, some madness in King’s Landing and there’s Winterfell – those are the only three biggies the way that things stand. It’d be nice to see more Bran and more Fat Sam and more Yara and more Sandor but the way things are, those big areas need to catch up to the smaller ones and I’d expect we see some serious focus on the three hotspots over the next two eps, which by the way are both scheduled to run over time. Bonus Thrones!
One last thought. Two sneaky jerries had a couple of sneaky lines. Varys disappeared on a secret mission, sounding like he’s trying to pave the way for a return to Westeros. Heard whispers of an Iron Islands fleet, maybe? Of course, it could just have been a way to get him out of the city before the war began – giving him full Gandalf the White powers to come storming back and save the day with a new army. There hasn’t been nearly as much on the show as there was in the books of some of those mercenary armies. The Golden Company, anyone? Tell you what though, I miss the old slimy, giggling, treacherous Varys of King's Landing. He's too nice these days.
As for Qyburn’s ‘more than a rumour’ claims, at first I thought they were getting at Tommen’s true birth, that maybe Cersei was going to spoil her son’s claim to the throne in order to get him out of there. But that didn’t make sense once she needed Qyburn to confirm it, so instead I’ll cast you back to the aforementioned reason that Jaime killed King Aerys, as well as these words, uttered to Edmure:
“Your sister was a strong… She loved her children. I suppose all mothers do, but Catelyn and Cersei, there's a fierceness you don't often see. They'd do anything to protect their babies. Start a war. Burn cities to ash. Free their worst enemies.”
Burn cities to ash, aye? And these next words uttered to Edmure:
“The things we do for love.”
Wouldn’t you know it, those are the same words that he said way back when he threw Bran from the window and got this whole story rolling.
Diggity Doc:
Sometimes when I come to jot down a few thoughts about the most recent GoT episode, I finish reading what my comrade the Wildcard has already written and like you, I am in awe. Let's all have a clap for the Wildcard for breaking it on down in epic fashion and we can add an extra clap on to that round of applause because the Wildcard not only broke it on down in epic fashion, he did all that about a pretty tame episode.
The only real bit of crucial information we gained from 'No One' is that Arya is heading back west, perhaps further west than Westeros but other than that, a whole bunch of not much happened in this episode. At least we had little moments of Sandor Clegane humour and the Mountain brutally killing a crazy religious guy (it's the other way around in our world, right?).
Consider this the quiet before the storm/s folks because shit will definitely hit the fan. From a critical viewpoint, this episode lacked the story-telling aspect of the previous two which saw us jump around the negotiations of a medieval time. Other than that, a few loose ends were tied and a few cheeky seeds were planted, we now await the upcoming mayhem.
Here's my four stages of watching this ep...
Omg, I'm excited. Things will get crazy, allow me to focus...
Sandor Clegane is actually really cool. Not much else is happening and I don't mind it because we're seeing a lot of this dude...
Arya's leaving? Just like that? She's no one, wait she's Arya, I'm confused...
Never fear, mayhem is never too far away in GoT...
GOT S06E08 Character Rankings
- Arya Stark – “A girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell, and I’m going home.”
- Sandor Clegane – There’s hope for you yet, Clegane.
- Brienne of Tarth – Even got a wave goodbye. Maybe her and Jaime’s mutual respect from across family boundaries will unite all Westeros? Then again, maybe not.
- Jaime Lannister – The first step to recovery is admitting you have an incest problem. Also, he did manage to retake the castle so that’s another chapter for the memoir.
- Kevan Lannister – We haven’t seen much of him but Cersei’s uncle really is climbing the ladder these days.
- Beric and Thoros – Robin Hood and his Merry Men are heading all the way north.
- Varys – As usual, his timing was impeccable.
- Lord Qyburn – His monster works and the little birdies work too. Pretty much Cersei’s only hope these days.
- Grey Worm – Did you see the way he beamed when he made Missandei laugh?
- The Blackfish – At least we didn’t see him make a damn fool of himself.