Wildcard:

As Thrones rounded the corner towards the endgame, it was easy to speculate who may or may not make it to the finish line. Who’d sit on top of the iron throne, who’d make alliances with who, who’d betray who… all the big and little details. But all that shrinking focus also sorta made it feel like easing the foot off the gas as you pull into the parking lot.

Not to Benioff and Weiss though, not at all.

This was about as action-packed an episode as there’s ever been. Not only did they finally introduce the two most popular characters, full of complications, but that last twenty minutes or whatever they pretty much chewed through what might have been multiple seasons’ worth of battles and plot.

The first blow was struck last week as Euron anticipated the Targaryen fleet and massacred a bunch of them, taking Yara, Ellaria and whatshername Sand Snake prisoner. So he got to march through the streets much like, as Jaime points out, many others have before to varying degrees of cheer. Cersei was marched naked through the same streets and hollered at. Margaery wandered through them and was adored. Now here’s Euron, dressed like he’s early for a Guns n Roses concert, strutting down the paths on his horse and they all love him. Even though he represents the opposite to what they booed/cheered for before, the fickle commoners. Ah, we all know a good mob mentality goes a long way towards coping with oppression.

Also, if the people are as poor as they supposedly are maybe throwing veges at foreigners isn’t the best possible use for that food. And if all them greens were rotten then perhaps that abysmal gardening ability is why they’re all hungry. Ooh I know – send a rep to the citadel to read some books and stuff. It’s working for Sam.

Tyrion’s voiceover of the Unsullied assault on Casterly Rock was brilliantly done. They basically exposition-ised the whole thing and yet when Grey Worm started freaking out that the capture was too easy, that was tense as hell. Usually those voiceover montages are done to breeze through things – there aren’t supposed to be complications from them but this one twisted both ways. The impregnable walls… the hidden entrance. Pretty sure the attack through the sewers was a tactic in a book battle for this army too back over the eastern seas. Been a while since I read them, to be fair.

Except where were all the rest of the Lannister forces? They’d abandoned the castle to instead take Highgarden and wipe the remaining Tyrells off the map. Which of course they did, helping themselves to their coffers in the process which is always handy when your regime has inherited a massive debt. Luckily for the Lannisters the Iron Bank may have paid a visit to Cersei to crack the whip but they also pretty much hinted that their preferred outcome of the big war would be a Lannister victory. Dany’s too ‘revolutionary’. Well, what do you know? The bankers are all in favour of keeping the status quo which benefits the richest and pisses all over the poorest. Geez, what a surprise.

Lady Olenna went easy but she didn’t go silently. Cersei made it clear that she’s all about that revenge game with the intensely ruthless way she chose to deal with the Dornish lasses who killed her daughter. Now here Olenna’s dying words were a scathing admission that she planned the death of Joffrey. Bit hard for Cersei to take revenge on a woman who’s already dead (and whose family she’s already exploded in green flame). That one’s just gonna have to simmer in perpetuity (which means forever, cheers T).

Quick interlude – this is why revenge is stupid, why retribution is stupid. Cersei can torture Ellaria if she wants but it won’t bring her daughter back and the more people retaliate, the more they propagate more anger, violence and madness. Typical Game of Thrones lesson, that one.

Coz, like, Olenna might have plotted the murder of Joffrey but that little prick deserved it for all the terror he was bringing. And Cersei can get pissed about it, sure. But she’s literally plotted the deaths of the entire upper tier of the Tyrell family so… come on. A little perspective, please. The worse Cersei gets, the more pathetic Jaime becomes too. He’s an alright guy when he’s not giving in to Cersei’s every whim.

Still a big victory for the Lannisters overall. They stabilise their expense accounts and they have the numbers to take back Casterly Rock too. Best of all is that the ol’ feint and jab move was the same one, as Jaime admits, that Robb Stark pulled on him back in the day.

The only shock with Dany and Jon’s meeting is that two experienced and successful leaders (as they both are) thought that the other would immediately just fall into place with their point of view. Especially Dany, who has that whole Mad King thing to overcome and returning to Westeros now she can’t pretend that’s not a factor. Nah, but Jon should just bend the knee immediately or else he’s a prisoner. And why does Jon assume that anyone would immediately believe his tales about the icy undead?

Clearly what they need to do is just sit around a table and chat for ages. Have a few drinks and spin some yarns. Then have a sleep and spin some more the next day. Jon can tell her about the time he got murdered and brought back to life and Dany can tell him about the times she walked through literal fire and was unburned. Dunno why Jon’s revival is such a secret – seems he’s a little embarrassed about it… although the show made point of that so I guess the cat’ll emerge from the bag eventually.

Basically, Jon turned up with no plan and bugger all diplomacy while Dany gave him bugger all respect in the process (take away the weapons, make him stand at a distance, keep him semi-hostage, etc.). Lucky Tyrion was there to bridge the gap is all I can say. And no coincidence that when they finally spoke one on one and could let their guards down a bit, that’s when they finally made some progress.

Don’t ask Bran about any of this. Bran doesn’t care. He’s the Three-Eyed Raven and he’s miles above us all, looking down with his infinite wisdom on the flippant problems of mankind. A little bit callous to Sansa though, if I’m being totally honest.

Diggity Doc:

A mini gang of dragons and two feared armies had us all wondering how swiftly Dany would snap up Westeros. Although we all knew it wouldn't be that easy, we are three episodes into this season and Dany has been dealt blow after blow to her take over bid. Don't kid yourself, you were sitting there over the summer pondering what opposition Dany would face when she arrived in Westeros and early this season GoT has established the woes, bringing a dose of reality to such fantasy.

When Tyrion outlined a battle plan to take Casterley Rock while the Dornish x Greyjoy collab attacked King's Landing, it sounded genius. This was exactly the sort of nous and inside knowledge that Dany needed to take over Westeros and Tyrion's narration of the Unsullied's Casterley Rock takeover offered even more insight into the art of 'fucking shit up'. All this sounded great and as the Unsullied took over Casterley Rock, it looked great.

Not only was Tyrion out-smarted by his older siblings, Dany was put in her place. Sure, we haven't seen Dany deploy her dragons yet and that could be a different kettle of fish. In terms of leading an army of troops, Dany has failed in her early attacks and it has me wondering if that same vibration will carry over to when Dany does deploy her dragons ... and the Dothraki.

The Lannister x Greyjoy alliance has provided stiff opposition to Dany's human forces and they know all about her dragons, so what opposition could they provide to those dragons? Also, Dragonstone isn't all that far away from King's Landing, maybe a couple minutes flying time? You may not be able to see Dragonstone from King's Landing but surely you can see/hear dragons form King's Landing.

Dany has had to endure these doses of reality throughout her journey and you'd hope she's learning from these lessons. She didn't appear to have learned too much when ol' Jonny boi arrived at Dragonstone and Dany's stubborn ways had her breezing over Jon pleading with Dany to pay attention to the arrival of the 'undead'. This was to be expected though and it was painful to watch Dany stick to her ego-trip.

What this did do however was give room for Dany and Jon to connect one or two dots. I'm happy for this process to take some time as that's the most realistic situation and we were fed minor snippets of Dany and Jon having much more in common than they think. Whether it was Jon saying that he's not a Stark moments before one of the dragons swooped down, or Dany noting Davos' comment about Jon being stabbed in the heart. These are seeds that have been planted and the fertilization journey is gonna be bloody fun to watch.

Davos was interrupted by a Jon Snow death-stare when he started the sentence about Jon being stabbed and while we all wanted Davos to elaborate, peep what Jon was telling Dany; the undead are coming! All these ice zombies are coming ... and I came back from the dead myself, so I'm kinda undead, so come help an undead King kill the undead. 

Let that simmer.

How about that moment between Varys and Melissandre? That conversation could have meant a variety of things, hence it was so beautiful. The mic-drop departure of Melissandre though blow this conversation apart and Varys was left with a troubled look on his mug after Melissandre said they both had to die in Westeros. Again, I was a tad confused about this, the concern on the face of Varys spoke a billion words - just in a different language - and now we're left to wonder what their connection is.

Varys has been put in a few uncomfy spots this season after emerging as one of the low key powerful characters. Dany questioned him and now Melissandre fought off Varys' questions about her history with Jon to drop a bomb. 

Is there more to Varys? Is he more than a whispering political assassin?

The Dornish and Tyrell whanau have been taken care of, with Olenna Tyrell's death the climax of this episode. Think back to Olenna's conversation with Dany where she shared some wisdom with Dany and then in this episode we jumped up to Winterfell where we saw Sansa making some fantastic war-time general decisions; we got enough munchies? Make sure you whack some insulation on that armour right?

Dany needs advisors to make those sorts of decisions because she's got a greater standing that Sansa. There's more for Dany to worry herself about, more people, more dragons, more political shit to work her way through. 

Sansa is on the front lines and is solely focused on her community. I certainly don't think Dany is a great leader and she's still learning that craft, this is a case of two female leaders in vastly different situations and it's fun to see Sansa juxtaposed against Dany. Before Bran arrived, Sansa's scene in Winterfell consisted of her making wise decisions and ticking the required boxes, thinking of stuff that a leader should think of but the average joker would never think of. 

Sansa is establishing herself as the true heart of Winterfell and as we've got no idea where Jon will be at any given time, Sansa the leader's role in all of this gets a whole lot more important. And Sansa has to suss out what the fuck Bran is up to.

I could write a whole thing about Bran's cold-blooded arrival. I'll zone in on something that Jon told Dany though as Bran's demeanour shouted this louder than Jon could actually shout it to Dany. Jon bemoaned how Dany was troubling herself with the human issues, traditional Westeros issues of power and greed - lame shit like that. It's easy for Jon to have this point of view because he's seen the alternative, those who haven't are still suck in that human cycle.
Bran has seen and knows a lot more than Jon. That's why Bran can't fuck with this human stuff.

Bran doesn't have emotion and is now nothing more than a vessel of information.

Bran is the extreme of Jon's 'stop squabbling over dumb stuff' narrative. 

Jon's still Jon Snow and while we can see how important Bran will be in all of this, I feel like the human nature of Jon is perhaps more important.

GoT S07E03 Character Rankings

1. Olenna Tyrell – Couldn’t go without taking one last parting shot at the Lannisters. Bravo.
2. Tyrion Lannister – Once again he’s managed to talk his way around a difficult situation. Hey, it’s what he’s good at.
3. Cersei Lannister – Up until that final scene this was a perfect tactical episode for her. Boasted over some enemies, paid off some debts, won a crucial battle… even got a little lovin’.
4. Bran Stark –  Who’s the Three-Eyed Raven? Go on, who’s the Three-Eyed Raven?
5. Euron Greyjoy – He’s got his bride… sort of. Just gotta win that war first. Not entirely sure the rivalry with Jaime is the smartest thing for him, granted.
6. Samwell Tarly – At least he didn’t get expelled though.
7. Littlefinger – Say what you want but his multiverse theory of leadership makes a lot of sense. He’d be a nice guy if he wasn’t a conniving sex offender.
8. Daenerys Targaryen – She of way too many names.
9. Davos Seaworthy – Of course, he’s chilled at Dragonstone plenty in his past… but this place has changed. Also shout out for the overdue Jon Snow resume that kinda saved the day.
10. Theon Greyjoy – He’s a sad sack but rest assured if he’s still around then there’s a redemption moment coming eventually. Short odds are that he kills Euron.

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