Footy Rhubarb

So the Premier league finally kicked off at the weekend and plenty of things to mull over to go with it. Some clubs will be happy with the way they opened their campaign, some will be reassured, and some will hugely disappointed. It’s a long season however with plenty of football to play and it’s never wise to judge a clubs season from the first 6 or so games. Despite it being early days the weekend’s games would have highlighted a few things to certain managers about squad size and quality which will be major factors leading into the last 2 weeks of the transfer window. Let’s have a look back at the opening weekend fixtures and make out the team of the week, main talking points, the weeks hero and the weeks nipple.


Team of the week: (4-3-3)

                                             Begovic (Stoke City)

 Coleman (Everton)      Whittaker (Norwich)       Toure (Liverpool)        Shaw (Scum)

 De Bruyne (Chelsea)                    Barkley (Everton)                          Oscar(Chelsea)

Agbonlahor (Aston Villa)           Van Persie (Man Utd)                       Dzeko (Man City)


Hero of the week:

I’m torn between two players to be heroes of the week for the opening weekend so two is what we’re having. Gabby Agbonlahor and Simon Mignolet, congratulations you’re the heroes this week. Agbonlahor won Villa both penalty’s in their 3-1 victory at Arsenal and even though they were questionable decisions he was an integral part of Villa’s dangerous counter attacks and lead fantastically from the front. His pace was too much for the Gunners at times and also put in a shift off the ball to reduce Arsenal’s midfield time on the ball – he deserved a goal.

Mignolet is also a hero due to his penalty save from Walters on 87 mins to prevent what would have been an equalising goal. Basically he made sure Liverpool got 3-points instead of 1 after Agger’s strange attempted clearance resulted in a blatant handball. It shouldn’t have come to a penalty save to secure 3-points for Liverpool as it could have well ended up 3-0 if it wasn’t for Begovic in Stoke’s goal pulling off some fantastic stops. If that penalty did go in then it would have been the Bosnian who would have won this week’s hero award but it was Mignolet’s save that decided the outcome on his competitive debut for the Reds.

Nipple of the week:

There are a few nominations for the absolute nipple of the first round of fixtures and 2 stem from the same game. Villa’s impressive 3-1 win at Arsenal made Arsene Wenger and the whole board look like a bunch of tits of course but the ref wasn’t too flash either. Pardew always looks a nipple because he is one but more so this week when Toon get brushed aside easily by Man City and then blames Arsenal’s bid for Cabaye as the reason behind it, he somehow felt he couldn’t play him once the bid was made just before the game “If he would have played we wouldn’t have lost 4-0”. Well I guess you should have played him then u wet blanket! Just because u got rolled over don’t come out all defensive claiming one player would have made all the difference! Not only that but he had a little whine about how disrespectful the bid was! So clubs bidding for players is new to you Pardew? Or you didn’t think that you could wait to inform Cabaye of the bid until after the game? Who hired this idiot? Oh that’s right another idiot called Mike ‘Lard-ass’ Ashley.

However all this and I think the title of nipple of the week has to go to Arsenal’s management and board. Yes they could turn this around with a few signings but surely this should have been sorted already? They’ve had 3 months! The injuries during the game as well as their lack of penetration in the final third just highlighted this and now they have put themselves under unnecessary pressure as well as disillusioned their fans. Possibly the worst way to start a campaign where you should be competing for the title, I feel for the fans because no doubt panic buys will roll in now and they won’t be up to scratch. It may be hasty to make such assumptions but why should it take such events to give the Gunners a kick up the ass? This should have been sorted, Arsenal=nipples.