The Wildcard’s Guide to the NFL - Week 11
Last Week: 6-8
Indianapolis Colts (6-3) at Tennessee Titans (4-5)
First of all, apologies need be made to the hearty gamblers amongst you who may or may not rely upon my tips for financial gain via sporting wagers. I’ve never had a losing round before. Very humbling. Very humiliating. Therefore I’ve spent the past week exclusively indulging myself in statistics, news, rumours and that funny old sports almanac my Uncle Biff gave me.
Both of these teams lost shockingly last week. Indianapolis needs to sort something out with their paper-weight running game, but in the meantime, they do have Andrew Luck, a guy resilient enough to bounce back from a whiffer against St Louis last week. The Colts are still comfortably in the playoff screenshot, while Tennessee’s promising season has pretty much been ruined by another Jake Locker injury. Don’t you think Indy has looked much more vulnerable since Reggie Wayne went down?
Wildcard’s Pick: Luck will save ‘em (pun most certainly intended). Colts by 7
Baltimore Ravens (4-5) at Chicago Bears (5-4)
Oh, Da Bears. Jay Cutler’s out for another game, and without him the Bears join the ranks of other comical ursine creatures: like Yogi and Boo-Boo, Fozzie Bear, and John Gruden. It’ll be an upset, but the Ravens are definitely worth a punt here. I mean, they’ve still got Ray Rice, how bad could they be? And Joe Flacco is under the heat, sure, but mostly because he’s the single most blitzed QB in the NFL this year. Maybe, umm, try blocking some pass rushers, guys? Chicago has a few of those, but their Defence is nothing like is used to be.
Wildcard’s Pick: Ravens by 6
Cleveland Browns (4-5) at Cincinnati Bengals (6-4)
To put the Bengals/Ravens game last week into some perspective, only 4 game tying/winning Hail Mary attempts of over 50 yards have ever been completed in the history of the NFL, including Andy Dalton’s in that game. And the Bengals are the only team to go on to lose afterwards.
I do still like Cincy though. They’ve had a number of crushing injuries, but they still compete and they should cruise to the playoffs on merit. Two overtime losses in a row must be painful, but bounce back this week and they’re 7-4. No other team in the AFC North will have a winning record at the end of this week.
Wildcard’s Pick: Bengals by 13
Washington Professional Football Team (3-6) at Philadelphia Eagles (5-5)
Win this and the Eagles will be temporarily in a playoff position. RGIII vs Chip Kelly’s Eagles could provide us with an offensive treat… or a mess of turnovers. Who even knows? You can’t exactly bet against Nick Foles at the moment though. He’s comfortable leading the NFL in passing TD %, with 11.8% of his passes being taken to the endzone. Plus that whole 16TDs to 0INT thing he’s got going on.
Wildcard’s Pick: Eagles by 6
New York Jets (5-4) at Buffalo Bills (3-7)
Ed Reed is a Jet now, for what that’s worth. Geno Smith must be fast in the running for Rookie of the Year. I mean, he’s fast in the running in every other aspect. Specifically the literal one. Anytime I think I should be taking Buffalo seriously, I’m reminded by some nasty trick of the subconscious that they almost share a name with an ice-block.
Wildcard’s Pick: Jets by 3
Detroit Lions (6-3) at Pittsburgh Steelers (3-6)
Megatron vs the Steelers. Sounds like a bad 80s cartoon, right? Well, this game could be every bit as messy as the animation in those old transformers series. The Steelers are finding their offence, and now that they’re getting a few rare turnovers, they’re competing once more. But you don’t just *stop* Calvin Johnson. That’s like Wile E. Coyote saying he’s gonna catch the Roadrunner. It doesn’t happen, no matter what you do or try.
Wildcard’s Pick: Lions by 10
Atlanta Falcons (2-7) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-8)
Hmm… watch this game? Or pry my own eyes out with a teaspoon? Tough choice. I think I’ll just read a book or something. Like my copy of Gray’s Sports Almanac, for example, which tells me that Atlanta will win this game by a touchdown.
Wildcard’s Pick: Falcons by 7
Oakland Raiders (3-6) at Houston Texans (2-7)
Oakland is 3-2 at home, and 0-4 away. That’s quite the split. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I like Case Keenum. He’s getting the best out of his team now, which still isn’t very good, but it’s better than what they had. They oughta take down the Raiders in Houston.
Wildcard’s Pick: Texans by 4
San Diego Chargers (4-5) at Miami Dolphins (4-5)
Playoff hopes are starting to fade for these two teams. They’re at the stage where they’ve both blown too many chances, and one more may be fatal. Basically, it’s like a cartoon, where they’ve run over the edge of a cliff, but haven’t realised it yet, so they haven’t fallen. But as soon they do spring to consciousness over their gravitational predicament, they’ll go plummeting to the ground. Don’t look down, and complete on third down. Follow that rule, and one of these teams balances their season at 5-5. The other team will next be seen as a puff of smoke on the distant ground.
Wildcard’s Pick: Chargers by 6
Arizona Cardinals (5-4) at Jacksonville Jaguars (1-8)
Lightning don’t strike twice in the same place in a row. Arizona ain’t much, but the Jags still suck, regardless of their win last week.
Wildcard’s Pick: Cardinals by 10
San Francisco 49ers (6-3) at New Orleans Saints (7-2)
Yeah, man. Now HERE we go. This is a game worth wasting a Monday morning on! Drew Brees (third in the MVP rankings by my judgement) is fresh off annihilating the Cowboys, but has a much tougher task against this SF defence. However it’s offensively that the Niners haven’t been the same team they were last year. Colin Kaepernick is having a few sophomore blues (great album title that one, if nobody’s taken it already), struggling with his passing some now that teams are shutting down the run. Maybe he needs a few more designed runs to get him going. I highly doubt that the Saints running game can build on last week, but that’s ok when you’ve got Drew Brees throwing to Jimmy Graham to fall back on. I just don’t think Kap can keep up with that. San Francisco is a risk of falling out of the playoffs if they lose this (it won’t last though).
Wildcard’s Pick: Saints by 6
Green Bay Packers (5-4) at New York Giants (3-6)
They’re going streaking in New York! (I wonder if Will Ferrell’s invited…). With Aaron Rodgers this would probably be a Packers comfortable win. Without him though? Gotta say I actually don’t like their chances. Without Rodgers, the pass game is weakened enough that the run game suffers too, and their defence isn’t great anyway. Hopefully Matt Flynn starts, having returned as the prodigal son to Green Bay a couple years from that one game that he played really well in. And y’know the formerly 0-6 Giants? Win this and they could be a game out of first place.
Wildcard’s Pick: Giants by 4
Minnesota Vikings (2-7) at Seattle Seahawks (9-1)
You know Seattle is next to unbeatable at home, right? Well Minnesota don’t seem to win anywhere (except in London where they’re undefeated).
Wildcard’s Pick: Seahawks by more than enough
Kansas City Chiefs (9-0) at Denver Broncos (8-1)
I wonder how bad Peyton’s injury is. Will it inhibit him much? The Broncos host the perfect Chiefs in a thriller of a primetime heavyweight clash. It’s the unmovable object (KC Defence) vs the unstoppable force (Broncos Offence). KC hasn’t conceded more than 17 points in a game this season; Denver is on pace to shatter the all-time total scoring record in a season. Which gives out first? Don’t forget this is a massive divisional clash too.
Peyton Manning 3249 yds 33/6 TD/INT 71% comp 121.0 QBR
Those stats already make up a great season. And he’s still got SEVEN games to go! This is his biggest test yet…
Wildcard’s Pick: Broncos buck the trend. Denver by 7
New England Patriots (7-2) at Carolina Panthers (6-3)
5 in a row for the Panthers, can they make it 6? I say hell yes they do! Did you see their defence last week? Brilliant. The Panthers are a legitimate threat. Meanwhile Tom Brady has struggled all season, sitting at the worst season completion rate of his Hall of Fame career. A lot of that is due to injuries, not that that’s a real excuse. Every team has injuries. Cam Newton has been sliding under the radar. He’s the key player here. This one should be another great game in a week full of them.
Wildcard’s Pick: Panthers by 3
BYE WEEK: Dallas Cowboys (5-5), St Louis Rams (4-6)
The Wildcard is a staff writer for The Niche Cache. He lives in complete seclusion in the hills of Colorado, adhering to a strictly natural lifestyle, catching fish, hunting deer and wearing clothes fashioned out of animal skins. His beard is wild and untamed. His only known correspondence with the outside world is this column which he engraves into large stones with a swiss army knife.