Durant returns to OKC with the team nursing a winning record

Blake Griffin gets taken seriously in the MVP race

Derrick Rose takes time to get back into the daily grind

The LA Clippers win the West

The Knicks will actually be pretty decent… but will still miss the playoffs

Unless they trade for Rondo

Who is definitely getting traded somewhere

The Spurs win at least 55 games because they always do great

Steven Adams is gonna be very good, I’m saying at least 10 double doubles

The LA Clippers… brace yourselves… will win the NBA

Cleveland dominate the regular season but have a few troubles come playoff time

Photographers will get crushed by players and loose balls, those suckers get waaay to close

On a similar note, it must be about time for another fan vs player fight?

Jabari Parker wins Rookie of the Year

Kobe Bryant starts swearing abundantly in post-match interviews coz he just doesn’t care

KD takes a bit longer than expected to return, Westbrook plays great in his absence

The Lakers will have a better record than the Celtics

The same 8 teams make the playoffs in the West

Dwight Howard has a resurgently good season - All-NBA first team quality

Possibly even Defensive Player of the Year

Phil Jackson starts wearing Buddhist robes to Knicks games

Monty Williams (New Orleans) is the first coach fired

James Harden wins the scoring title

First game of a great season. Swaggin wit my bro @terrencejones1
A photo posted by jharden13 (@jharden13) on Oct 10, 2014 at 12:06am PDT

The Heat will still be kinda good; with increased production from Bosh & Wade

The Pacers miss the playoffs by a long way

No star NBA player gets banned for domestic abuse or PEDs

Drake is spotted in a Cavaliers jersey at some stage

The Phoenix Suns regress

Steve Nash is making movies before the season is out

Dirk signs on to play the lead role in Nash’s first feature, an existential art-house flick about a philosophical basketballer

Boogie Cousins will be an All Star

Greek players become all the rage

Commentators will stumble over the Plumlee brothers all season. Was that Mason? Or Miles?

Anthony Davis will be amazing from start to finish in a team that finishes no higher than .500

Kobe Bryant will score 50 in a game this season

Paul George will not play this season – sounds obvious, but you never know

For the first time in ages, the record for total three point attempts in a season will not be broken – blame Byron Scott

The rally cries begin that the season is too long (which it is, really)

Lottery reform

Some baby somewhere will have a monobrow slapped on them and be forced to dress up as Anthony Davis for Halloween/Something else

Ray Allen signs with Cleveland

An NBA player, probably either Boogie or Lance Stephenson, releases a music album to notably mixed reviews

Actually, it’ll probably be Victor Oladipo

Kobe passes Michael Jordan on the all-time scorers list

Anthony Bennett has a very good season in Minnesota, people start apologising to him

Detroit trade (or at least shop around) either Josh Smith or Greg Monroe

LeBron misses at least 10 games, mostly for being rested

Gregg Popovich’s beard becomes sentient and starts taking courtside interview duty for him