It’s Good To Be Gronk

"If you want to be a chiseled six foot six inch All-Pro football player who makes big money to score touchdowns and win Super Bowls, and if you like to have just as much fun with your family and enjoying life, then this book is for you!"

The words of the one and only Rob Gronkowski. Yes, Gronk is preparing to release a book through Derek Jeter’s publishing house. The book is written by Gronk (with a ghostwriter, surely) and will come out in July. It's titled: ‘It’s Good To Be Gronk’... because it is.

The tome will purportedly "take the reader from the locker room to the VIP room" and presumably not in the same way that the erotic fan fiction novel about him from last year did so.

Not only that but Gronk has finished off a cameo in the Entourage film (coming out in June) and has also been hard at work filming a buddy cop film with his brother Dan in which they’ll both star, titled ‘You Can Have It’. Gronks Rob and Dan play the cops in what will surely be a hilariously camp piece of entertainment. Joanna Krupa and Armand Assante also star.

And also this:

Oh, and he's a defending Super Bowl champion too. Some guys get all the luck.

Ain't No Angel

When the LA Angles signed slugger Josh Hamilton, they did so knowing full well the bloke’s past struggles with alcohol and drug addiction. Those struggles nearly prematurely ended a highly promising baseball career, but he found his home in Texas with the Rangers, winning an MVP and leading the team to two World Series. When his free agency hit, he controversially moved to rivals LA (at the same time as Albert Pujols) for big bucks.

Recently it’s been revealed that Hamilton had another slight relapse, something that the player immediately reported and repented for. Yet when an arbitrator declared that Hamilton would not need to face any disciplinary issues for his behaviour, the Angels organisation came out acting like assholes.

"It defies logic that Josh's reported behaviour is not a violation of his drug program," said club president John Carpino. Here’s the statement that the organisation released:

"The Angels have serious concerns about Josh’s conduct, health and behaviour and we are disappointed that he has broken an important commitment which he made to himself, his family, his teammates and our fans. We are going to do everything possible to assure he receives proper help for himself and for the well-being of his family."

Frankly, this all has more to do with Hamilton’s hitting form than his or his family’s wellbeing. He’s been an expensive disappointment at the plate in his time in Los Angeles and is due to make another $83m over the next three seasons, not to mention his fragile injury history. Completely untransparently, the Angels wanted him suspended so that they could save money and were happy to throw mud at Hamilton’s character to achieve it. And act petulantly when they didn’t.

Stuff That Happened in the NBA

Poor old Phoenix looked like they were gonna put up a fight in the playoff race for a while despite their trade deadline histrionics, instead they continue to lose games in heart-breaking fashion. And also Brandon Knight is pretty much done for the season, playing just 11 games since being traded for – he’s a restricted free agent. But as they fall by the wayside (five losses on the trot before squeezing past Utah), New Orleans are still battling. Mostly because of things like this:

Beating Golden State was no small matter either. With Oklahoma City losing to Dallas, Memphis, Houston and San Antonio all in a row, the Pelicans are still well in this scrap.

The other seven places in the West are all but set. The Warriors will be first seed, the Mavs almost certainly seventh seed. Everything in between is up in the air. The Portland Trailblazers are sliding down the standings but as division winners, they won’t be seeded any lower than fourth.

Over to the East, Atlanta Hawks = 1, Cleveland Cavaliers = 2. As for the rest you can take your pick. A great run by Brooklyn has them in seventh, Miami, Boston, Indiana and Charlotte caught in a dogfight for the final playoff place, all with no chance of a winning record.

Golden State’s unbeaten streak ended the other day, falling to the surging San Antonio Spurs 92-107 on the road. That snapped a 12 game stretch of wins for GSW, but extended a 32 game streak of losing to San Antonio away. Tim Duncan was still in college the last time they won in San Antonio… that’s a record that’s gonna take some breaking in the playoffs with this being a potential Western Conference Finals matchup. Kawhi Leonard was the best player on the court, scoring 26 with 7 steals. It was the Spurs’ seventh win in a row and 20th game with a double digit lead at some stage (a streak they extended against OKC).

Remember when Russell Westbrook went on an absolute tear during the All Star Game, winging the MVP? Well, they gave him a car for that game, and he just gave that car to a struggling single mother. Not too much else to say about this, a lovely goodwill gesture. It’s weird seeing him look so happy though.

Russell Westbrook brings tears of joy to single mom Kerstin Gonzales, surprising her w/ @Kia he won as All-Star MVP. pic.twitter.com/fijOHTSc4p
— OKC THUNDER (@okcthunder) April 6, 2015

There’s post defence, and then there’s this. Shaun Livingston (GSW) getting a handful of Dirk Nowitzki’s German Bratwurst. Dirk was initially shocked, but later laughed it off. His teammates, coach and owner weren’t so happy, though. Definitely out of character from Livingston, a guy who’s made a lot of friends and admirers since coming back from one of the most gruesome knee injuries in memory back in 2007. Seriously, don’t google it without a strong constitution. Livingston served a one game suspension for his ‘tight grip’, as Dirk referred to it.

And speaking of awful injuries, Paul George is back!

NBA Power Rankings:

(Last Week)

Golden State Warriors (1)
San Antonio Spurs (2)
Cleveland Cavaliers (3)
LA Clippers (4)
Houston Rockets (7)
Atlanta Hawks (5)
Memphis Grizzlies (6)
Portland Trailblazers (10)
Chicago Bulls (9)
Dallas Mavericks (NR)

Opening Day, Trade ‘Em Away

The Atlanta Braves skirted with some proper success the last half decade, making three playoff appearances in four years including a 96 win season in 2013, before slumping last year to a losing record (They went 4-16 in the final month of the season). The Washington Nationals are set to dominate the NL East for a decade to come (they won it by 17 games in 2014), and so for whatever reason, the Braves are ripping up the roster.

After doing some dealings in free agency and making trades Donkey Dunn makes strikeouts. New GM John Hart (not the former All Blacks coach, sorry) pulling the trigger on as many deals as he could, but don’t say ‘rebuilding’ or ‘tanking’. Those are naughty words.

They weren’t done there either, they had one more deal to make, trading away Melvin (B.J.) Upton and closer Craig Kimbrel to the Padres for a four player package that also includes a draft pick. The trade reunites Upton with his brother Justin, traded from the Braves to the Padres a few months back. It also means that the Braves will begin the season with just four players returning on their 2015 opening day roster from last year. Four. Out of 25.

Luis Avilan, Alex Wood, Freddie Freeman and Andrelton Simmons. Those are the four active Braves that also started last season, shockingly. But at the same time, Atlanta has gone from having one of the worst farm systems around to one of the best. They’ve offloaded almost every one of their underperforming offensive players that gave them the second worst pop in baseball for 2014 and replaced them with solid vets and exciting rookies. Keep an eye out on second baseman Jace Peterson and catcher Christian Bethancourt especially, those young’uns could be something. Plus Julio Teheran and Alex Wood impressively head what is always a great pitching staff while Shelby Miller, acquired from the St Louis Cardinals for outfielder Jason Heyward and reliever Jordan Walden this offseason, has legitimate breakout potential.

At the same time, the San Diego Padres add a second swinging Upton brother to a completely remastered outfield that also includes new recruits Matt Kemp and Wil Myers. Plus Kimbrel is probably the best closer in baseball, so there’s a good get from a team looking to go straight from the carpark to the ballpark.

2015 MLB Balls-On-The-Line Predictions

AL MVP – Mike Trout (LA Angels)

NL MVP – Giancarlo Stanton (Miami Marlins)

AL Cy Young – Felix Hernandez (Seattle Mariners)

NL Cy Young – Stephen Strasburg (Washington Nationals)

World Series – Cleveland Indians vs Washington Nationals

Champions – Washington Nationals

MLB Opening Day Payrolls

Galaxy Guarding With The Mavs

King Problems

Back at the dentist and I'm hearing a bunch of drilling going on behind me from my docs so I had to sit up like "What the heck is going on back there". Hahaha but seriously what's up. #DentistNightMares

"Back at the dentist and I'm hearing a bunch of drilling going on behind me from my docs so I had to sit up like "What the heck is going on back there"...."

Super Duper Corey Kluber

You Know What They Say About Guys With Big Hands…

This is what a basketball looks like in Jahlil Okafor's hand (via @SSpakeESPN). pic.twitter.com/SrP2U7rVt7
— SportsNation (@SportsNation) April 4, 2015

Quote of the Week:

“We talked a little bit afterwards and he said: ‘You know for a white guy… it’s pretty impressive’”

Dirk Nowitzki cracking wise over the Livingston Incident.

Good Week:

Duke Basketball & Coach K – The Dugout doesn’t usually bother with college sports, but these guys deserve a rap. They overcame Wisconsin in the NCAA Championship final with a huge boost down the stretch. An incredible fifth national title for Coach Mike Krzyzewski, and you can bet that you haven’t heard the last of Tyus Jones and Jahlil Okafor.

Sonny Gray (Oakland Athletics) – There were plenty of dominant pitching performances to open the new season. Sonny Gray’s was the best. He took a no-hitter into the eighth against the Rangers on Opening Day, flirting with becoming just the second man in history to flip a no-no on the first day of the season. Ryan Rua broke it up for Texas’ only hit of the game, Oakland shutting them out 8-0. Oakland winning their first game for the first time in 11 years.

James Harden (Houston Rockets) – A tough lot of fixtures for the Rockets meant little as The Beard took them on his back once more. An inefficient 24 was enough to hold off the Wizards, then his 31 points not enough against Toronto. Since then he put 51 on Sacramento, a solid 24 on Dallas and 41 against OKC, outduelling Russell Westbrook in the process. He’s making a serious last push to beat out Steph Curry for MVP and secure that second seed for Houston.

Bad Week:

Mat Latos (Miami Marlins) – Not the best start to the new season, this. An ERA of 94.50. Ouch. Not the way he wanted to start with his new, hometown team.

Mat Latos doing his best to keep his ERA 💯. pic.twitter.com/urmFzyeK2c
— SportsNation (@SportsNation) April 7, 2015

Miami Marlins – Sorry for the double whammy guys, but your stadium has a roof and yet you had a rain delay in your opening game. Umm, that doesn’t add up.

Oklahoma City Thunder – RussBrook may still be logging triple-doubles, but without Durant or Ibaka, the team’s plays like turnstiles in defence. They’d be even worse if it wasn’t for a certain seven foot tall kiwi either. Their playoff chances seemed solid a week ago but they’ve since lost four in a row, the latest a public pantsing at the hands of the Spurs.

Player of the Week:

Kawhi Leonard (San Antonio Spurs) – Fully fit and slaughtering. His last five games have him at 20.8p/5r/2.6a/3.4s and that’s in less than 26 mins a game! Fear the Spurs, fear Kawhi. This is as good as they’ve been since last season’s finals. Typically peaking right when it matters.

The Dugout – It's Good To Be Gronk (Or Kawhi)