The Quotable Steven Adams: 2022-23 Edition
It was a season like none other for Aotearoa’s finest basketballing export. For half of it he was an unstoppable rebounding machine even by his own high standards. He was on pace to break some all-time offensive board records, whilst steadily upping his scoring in year two with the Memphis Grizzlies too (we won’t talk about the free throw misses). The Grizz had some dramas working through various injuries but by mid-January they were surging towards the second seed looking absolutely legitimate with Steven Adams in some of the best form of his career.
Then he got injured himself. Landed hard on his knee late in a game in Phoenix and that was the end of his season. The team kept it annoyingly murky about the diagnosis and recovery time but the bottom line of it was that Steven Adams did not play again in 2022-23. The Grizz then tumbled into chaos without him. Everything from the Ja Morant off-court dramas to on-court struggles without their glue-guy big man. They ended up being dropped in six by the Los Angeles Lakers in round one of the playoffs.
The impact that Adams has for this Grizzlies team is huge, if still underrated, and absence has only made that clearer for all to see. Sadly, his knee injury robbed him of a possible playoffs run, it robbed him of a possible FIBA World Cup appearance (and Tall Blacks debut), and it robbed us of half a season of media yarns and witty quotes. The Quotable Steve is a TNC tradition but this one will be a bit shorter than usual... ol’ Funkai didn’t even get to do an Exit Interview since he wasn’t with the team. Oh what could have been.
Still, count the blessings we receive not those we lose. You can cram a lot of fun into half a season in the National Basketball Association. So, for the eighth season in a row, we present to you, dear reader, the best quotes that Steven Adams served up across the past year.
“One hundred and eight… oh hey coach.”
Oh you know just practising free throws during preseason, as you do. Casually exaggerating how many you’ve been nailing, as you do. Actually after shooting a career worst 36.4% from FTs over the proceeding campaign he may have been better off putting in as much work as he jokingly pretended to.
“It’s also just a new year. It’s kinda hard not to compare it to last year because you assume that they’re reffing the same and that teams are, like, emphasising the same thing on defence. But that’s not the case. They’re emphasising different things, especially against us. They’ll change the scout completely. There’s a lot of that going on too, strategically.”
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new season in the Association.
“I think its just understanding the system more, and especially with the guards. How they’re playing the pick and roll and the late reads and whatnot. I think it’s just more of a comfort with that aspect of it. Last year I was either helping too early or I was helping too late. I think now I’m starting to get a better feel for when to go.”
It was a sneaky start for the Grizzlies with Jaren Jackson Jr – who would go on to win Defensive Player of the Year – out injured after offseason surgery but they still won 7 of 10 games to get underway and not only was Adams doing tidy things with his rebounds and occasional buckets, he was also getting amongst it with some blocks and steals.
“Yeah I’m a big bastard, mate. You’d assume so aye? Don’t expect one of these little dudes to control the boards”
Stands to reason. This was after a win against Charlotte in which Tips had eleven offensive rebounds and 19 boards in total... one of 12 times that he had 15+ rebounds from just 42 total games.
“Esta para vosotros... SIUUUUUUU”
Absolutely no idea why he’s yelling that out on live television. But it’s probably a reference to Cristiano Ronaldo said after winning the Champions League (again) with Real Madrid. Ol’ Ronny’s full quote was: ‘Muchas gracias aficion, esto es para vosotros... SIUUUU’. Which means: ‘Thank you to the fans, this is for you... SIUUUU’ Must’ve been an in-joke. Still pretty funny.
“It’s a bit fucked.”
That’s what happens to your ankle when you step on Kristaps Porzingis’ foot. This was a game against the Washington Wizards and the Grizz were up by 15 points when he checked out. He then returned to the game with Washington up two... and proceeded to steer Memphis to victory. Although he did sit out a loss to the Boston Celtics next up because of that sore ankle.
“In the last play of the game, he was messing me around — pinching me and stuff. I was like: Get out of here, dude! He pinched my nipple. Get out of here, ya dirty bastard! Trying to break my concentration.”
Tangles in the post with San Antonio’s English forward Jeremy Sochan. Apparently no part of Steve-o’s anatomy is safe on a basketball court.
“Nah that’s only you Americans, mate. This is your guys’ holiday. We’ve got some other stuff. Way cooler, waaaay cooler… They’re just excuses. We treat them all the same way: go to the pub.”
Thanksgiving, who cares. Ain’t got nothing on Matariki.
“I think turkey’s overrated. Yeah, I know. Hot take. I really think it is. Dry.”
Not a fan of the old Meleagris Gallopavo as the cornerstone of a holiday feast. Each to their own. He did go on to hype up the value of candied yams though.
“We represent the city, you know. It’s not necessarily a duty. It’s just how our way of, like, giving back. I mean, we genuinely want to do this because, like, the fans give so much man. They support us, and make everything really, really good for us.”
Thanksgiving meal soundbites aside, Adams was talking there from a community event where the Grizzlies organisation provided meals for a hundred families in need. All about the community spirit. For the people.
“What do you say?”
Proof right there of the legend that Steven Aams will only sign autographs if you use the magic word.
“No. Not at all.”
Funaki disputes that he’s the unofficial bodyguard of the Memphis Grizzlies. His teammates constantly beg to differ.
“We’re gonna have some fun, mate.”
Tips mic’d up for a win over the Sacramento Kings. They really did have some fun… check out the vid for a smorgasbord of little quips, most of them boosting up his teammates after they did cool stuff (“Good job boy!” “That’s a pass, bro!” “SIUUU!”).
“The defensive rebounds are key because, like, we don’t wanna play defence anymore. You know what I mean? We get the defensive board and that’s the end of the play and we’re like: oh sweet we can play offence.”
Rebounding mentality from a master of the arts.
“[dog noises]”
Honestly, no idea.
“He’s a bit of a psycho, eh? But it’s good, we need it. You don’t want vanilla dudes. I’m a bit of a nutcase myself. This isn’t an Apple Store type place - prim and proper - it’s colourful. That’s what you want.”
None of that corporate neutrality here, mate. Although Dillon Brooks did later take the psycho stuff too far when he poked the bear by taunting LeBron James in the playoffs. LBJ then stomped all over Brooks, who dodged the media at all corners, then got told he’s not gonna be re-signed by the Grizz. Ah well.
“I think it’s bloody a little bit delusional, mate. Some of the stuff that he hears, bro, I’m like: nah. I’m more of the old mate type game. Suits and things like this, when the time is right. He showed up in a sweater made of feathers. Fucken hell, boy.”
Quite a few NBA players are in on the podcast game these days and a few of them have happened to cross paths with Steven Adams. Two years ago he had a memorable appearance on JJ Redick’s podcast. Back in December there was an instant classic chat on Danny Green’s show. This particular quite was in reference to hearing that Jaren Jackson Jr had recommended him, in a previous episode, as a teammate who he’d like to take on a wee shop through his personal closet.
“Me and my boy got a pig and we put it on a spit, I posted a photo of me and him holding it... this was pre-draft, and one of my coaches from New Zealand is good friends with Sean Marks, who was working for San Antonio, and Sean Marks apparently told him, like: dude, what the fuck is he doing? Don’t let him go out hunting or anything like this. Keep his arse healthy.”
Plenty more from the Green Room where that last one came from. Here’s a pre-draft tale about the possibility of being drafted by the San Antonio Spurs (back while Green was playing there and Sean Marks was involved with the franchise).
“The biggest thing that I try and teach them is what Nick Collison taught me which is super valuable because I think too much: Less brains, more cock and balls.”
Advice for the youngsters out there.
“I’ll box out for anyone, dude. I don’t give a shit about the defensive rebounds, brother. It’s like, as long as someone gets the ball and we don’t have to play defence any more, I’m happy, I don’t give a shit, mate. It just means that possession is over, we don’t have to rotate. I don’t care who gets it. Now, offensive rebounds? That’s different. I really go after offensive rebounds.”
It’s a lie if anyone claims that he used to let Russell Westbrook get the boards to pad his stats. Truth is that Steve-o is a box out merchant, not a rebound hoarder.
“Yeah yeah yeah, I did shot put in high school and all that. I went as far as nationals and then I got destroyed, bro. I wasn’t good like that. I wore basketball shoes. I always walked around with a two-litre carton of milk. I loved milk so I used to just crush milk all the time. Smash milk and then do my throw.”
Did you ever partake in the other family tradition of shot put prowess?
“He [Santi Aldama] played a few times and then he’d just seen me play, because I play before a game, I play whenever. Like I’m just sitting down or something I’ll just have a game of chess. We’ll play against each other. I’m still the best on the team.”
Not only is Steven Adams a renowned chess player (though admittedly ‘not good’ at it... if you believe him) but he’s even spread the gospel to his young teammate Santi Aldama too.
“All the rookies are the pawns, mate. Ja [Morant] would probably be the queen because it can move over the most squares, out of all the pieces. Trip [Jaren Jackson Jr] is either a knight or a rook... I think a rook. It’s a solid piece on the outside, like the anchor of the defence. Valuable piece. Others would probably be bishops and knights, probably the shooters. Des [Bane] would probably be bishop. Long range diagonal. And you too, bro, you’d be a bishop too. Dillon’s [Brooks] definitely a knight, he’s got some crazy shit. Me and you might be the king, bro. Just move one square at a time. Yeah BC [Brandon Clarke] would probably be a rook. Santi’s [Aldama] still a pawn, actually.”
Comparing teammates to chess pieces... podcast gold.
“I think so. I think it might just be this international clan. It’s kinda weird. We kinda just mock Americans behind their backs. Just so you guys know.”
Steve-o x The Joker. It’s a poorly kept secret that the NBA is dominated by international players these days, especially international big men. Nikola Jokic is the best player on the planet but Steven Adams gets to claim membership in the same wider club.
“It’s just different, because they put you in these sorts of positions. I don’t get to guard these [top tier opposition big men] often, so I really enjoy challenging myself. It’s really fun for me. It's good, because it makes me think outside of what I normally have to do. It's fucking great.”
That was a post-game chat after a huge effort going man-to-man with Joel Embiid (who’d be named MVP of the season a few months later). Part of a run of games in which he also matched up with Nikola Jokic and Giannis Antetokounmpo. Never shirking the responsibilities and delivering fine performances each time.
“We sucked at shooting. They kept missing shots so I went and got ‘em”
A career high 13 offensive rebounds in a win over the Sacramento Kings. Adams had 11 points, 23 rebounds, and 3 assists overall... part of a four-game stretch in which Adams hauled in a ridiculous 76 combined boards. What’s there to say? He simply went and got ‘em.
“Yeah I don’t know what that means but I’ll agree with him. In the trenches mate. In the bloody trenches. No reason strategy mate, just bloody trying to go after the boards.”
Slightly more rebounding explanations - but only slightly - after Ja Morant had referred to him as getting down in the trenches... whatever that means.
“Yeah man, just trying to be active... and I think I’m more comfortable in the system. Last year was like a bit of a learning curve on how players move and if they’re in front or not. It’s kinda weird reads, the body language. But I think I’m getting used to reading the players a bit better. When they need help, when not to. Shit like this.”
Good chat about good performances. Easy to forget that some things take time and on-court team chemistry is definitely one of them.
“Umm, the main squeeze is Ja. He’s just tough to stop, mate. We say ‘stop [them] scoring in the paint’, dude, you can’t. It’s kinda like saying we’re gonna stop them from shooting threes. They’re gonna shoot a three but you need them to be tough threes. That’s probably what coaches mean. If they can get us out of the restricted paint that’s probably a win. If they keep us in the floater area, mid-paint area, that’s probably a win. They’re probably just trying to emphasise that but it’s still a tough job because you’ve got Ja, he’s ridiculous, and we have constant movement. Two and four. All our offence is for us to attack the paint. Des is in there as a three point threat that means there’s a hole in the defence from where you can attack. It’s tough mate. Especially when we’re flowing, like we’re a big transition team. Those are just tough to defend.”
One more beaut from that same post-game chat, this time discussing why the Memphis Grizzlies are so brutal when it comes to scoring in the paint and how coaches keep talking about trying to stop them.
“Yeeeeaaaaahhpppp”
No explanation required.
“SIUUUUUU”
Look, what else are ya gonna say after hitting the game-winning bucket in a victory over the Cleveland Cavaliers back in January?
“Aaaahhhhhhhh motherfucker”
Then he got injured. Didn’t play again the rest of the season and gradually faded from prominence... although he was still a familiar presence on the sideline with his big chain and the moustache, cheering his blokes on and celebrating the dubs.
“You wanna jump up? You guys comfy?”
Being out injured at least meant plenty of time to watch the March Madness tournament. Or, if not watch it, at least help advertise it. Log this as a fresh entry in the great tradition of Spokesperson Steven Adams ads. Still not as good as the Elf on a Shelf one though.
And that’s all we got. He doesn’t do as much media with Memphis as he used to with OKC (the folks with cameras and microphones tend to want after Ja Morant and Jaren Jackson a little more) and being out injured for the last four months of the season meant he wasn’t doing interviews with anyone during that spell. So many great quotes lost to the world, carried away on the wind without reportage. Apart from this ditty…
Now, if you want quotes about him then there was no shortage of those. Absence makes the heart grow fonder after all. That’s not really what we’re here for by hey why not finish off with Jaren Jackson Jr and Paul George trading their best Steve-o tales. Until next time, squires.
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