The Wildcard’s Premier League Predictions - New Years Fixtures
Last Week: 4/10
Overall: 80/190
West Ham United vs Liverpool
Pretty harsh on Liverpool, getting the shortest possible turnaround after playing on the Wednesday night with every team having played on Boxing Day too. This squad isn’t used to Wednesday/Saturday football! Not since that one year after that one year when Brendan Rodgers (and mostly Luis Suarez) made them real good at least. Badum-bish.
Still, when you’re able to take six points from those two games, then it doesn’t feel so bad, even if they were both Christian Benteke-inspired 1-0s. Three points are three points every time, no worries there. Although something needs to be done about Benteke’s counter-attacking whats-its if he’s gonna play regularly (as I think he should) for this team. Neither of these were goals, incredibly:
Though to be fair he was a mile offside for the Leicester one. They all were, and somehow they didn’t score.
The big news for West Ham is that they may be welcoming Winston Reid, Dimitri Payet and Victor Moses all back for this game ahead of schedule. That seems a little unlikely given how Bilic has usually eased guys back into the team and these lads are all just returning to training, but it’s good news all the same. Almost time to grab Payet back for the ol’ Fantasy team.
West Ham already beat these guys once but it’s a completely different Liverpool now. Either the Hammers fully blunt them or Liverpool slice through like a hot knife in butter. Hard to say when two such teams come head to head. I’ll take option B, Chris. Lock it in.
Wildcard’s Pick: 3-1 Liverpool
West Bromwich Albion vs Stoke City
Ooh, Tony Pulis welcoming the old flame over. It’s like having the ex around at Christmas, introduce her to the new lady and see how they get along. The thing is, the former girl’s really turned her life around since she left, finding a new, positive approach to life. Taking chances, taking control. Taking Spanish lessons…
Next thing you know she’ll be dressing in blue and maroon.
Wildcard’s Pick: Draaaaaaaaaaaw
Norwich City vs Southampton
New Years Resolutions for Each Club:
Arsenal: Be more consistent. In a good way.
Aston Villa: Make the most of every game. Never know how soon you’ll be relegated.
Bournemouth: Make some CAAAASH!
Chelsea: Try winning two games in a month for once.
Crystal Palace: Remember to stay humble and ease up on the drinking, Alan.
Everton: Learn a musical instrument and pick up some rhythm.
Leicester City: Spread some wealth among the poor and needy.
Liverpool: Reduce stress (and make a European run).
Man City: Win something pretty and shiny.
Man Utd: Score some bloody goals.
Newcastle: Take up a new sport. Like maybe football.
Norwich: Give this thing a damn good swing. 100%, all or nothing.
Southampton: Settle down and take up anchor. Don’t sell every player.
Stoke: Think positive, laugh and love every day.
Sunderland: Eat healthy and lose some squad weight.
Spurs: Spend some quality time in the Champions League places.
Watford: Believe in your own ability, have no fear.
West Brom: Lighten up a little and make a few new friends.
West Ham: Quit smoking, get on a diet and stay healthy.
Wildcard’s Pick: Southampton 1-0
Sunderland vs Aston Villa
Sam Allardyce’s assessment of Sunderland’s December (5 games, 5 losses, 3 goals for, 12 against):
“Shite”.
That about goes for Aston Villa’s month too. 2 draws and 3 losses, 3 for and 7 against.
Actually, now that you mention it… that pretty much sums up Villa’s whole season.
Wildcard’s Pick: Eww, 1-1
Arsenal vs Newcastle United
The last set of games marked the exact half-way stage in the season which means that every game from now on has a first half precedent to it. I remember watching Arsenal scrape by Newcastle early in the season at a mate’s house in the middle of the night. Back when Florian Thauvin was one of the most exciting summer signings on display, back when people thought Newcastle might have a really decent team on them, back when plenty of us figured Arsenal were in for another fourth-and-knockouts season. A 1-0 win on that occasion, the sole goal a deflected strike by Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (back when he was still in my fantasy team), didn’t really do anything to dispel any of that.
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-0 Arsenal
Leicester City vs Bournemouth
Here’s a game that a champion team should always win. Home to a promoted team. Look, I’ve called them out more than a few times, especially early on in the season but I’m so deep on the bandwagon now it ain’t funny, man. I love watching Wes Morgan play. I think N'Golo Kanté may be the best transfer of the last two years. Jamie Vardy is a pinball of excitement. Riyad Mahrez is, simply put, the most entertaining player in the Premier League on current form.
Bournemouth are a team I love to watch as well but they don’t have the same stuff that Leicester have. Their own manager doesn’t believe that they can win the league, he’s still talking about that last win to avoid relegation for certain. But not me, I’m for them all the way. Every season the title seems to be decided by who can take the most points off the teams around them. Up against last season’s top four, Leicester drew with City and United, beat Chelsea and lost to Arsenal. That Arsenal game is the one major blip but teams have shown that it’s not so bad to lose to Arsenal because they’re always due a slip up against a Southampton or someone. Honestly, how the hell did that happen!? 4-0 to Southampton is a Harry Redknapp result, not an Arsene Wenger result.
The Foxes are two games without a goal after scoring in each of their first 17 games. THEY’RE TURNING INTO MAN UNITED! Nah, jokes, they’ll win this one comfortably.
Wildcard’s Pick: Leicester City by 2-0
Manchester United vs Swansea City
And so after all that, Lucky Louis still has a job. Nobody ever gets sacked on an upswing game though, and the Chelsea draw did show signs of improvement. Especially the first half hour in which they hit the frame of the goal twice, it’s just a shame that they once again couldn’t A) capitalise or B) keep it up for 90 mins. But, yeah, much better. There was a bit of energy and the passing was quicker, which is massive for a team as predictable as this one. It’d be nice if the crossing could improve too but one things at a time. That was Wayne Rooney’s best game of the season and the reason he was so much more effective (there’s a long way to go yet) was largely down to having a guy like Ander Herrera running in support for the quick layoff passes back. Then Herrera looks to Mata or Martial and someone’s in space, bingo. Also, Morgan Schneiderlin should start every game. Given the cliff that Nemanja Matic has fallen off, there might not be a better defensive midfielder in the Premier League, they almost never lose when he plays. Both Carrick and Schweinsteiger are absolute quality at what they do but neither is a player who’ll actively hound a player to win the ball back. Morgan Schneiderlin has defensive presence, it’s not just about positioning. And winning the ball back in unexpected places is the best way to catch teams unbalanced. That’s the whole thing that Leicester do so well.
Also, no Mary Fellaini is not a bad thing. He’s been playing terrible, so frustrating.
Ahh, but while Louis survives for another swing, he now has to face his bogey team with his own side nine games removed from their last win. LVG’s first game in charge was against Swansea. They lost 2-1. Then he played them again later that season… and lost 2-1. Say and do you remember when they played at the start of this season? Yeah. They lost 2-1.
Imagine if Louis Van Gaal started and ended his Man United reign with losses to Swansea. And if you think it’s harsh to still be talking about him as an imminent sacking, then take a look at the form table. There is no feasible excuse for this:
Wildcard’s Pick: I dunno, 1-0 United. Swansea are better the last few weeks but they still aren’t great.
Watford vs Manchester City
City’s first PL clean sheet of the season without Vincent Kompany and it came against Leicester City, good for them. Vardy missed one great chance and Albrighton got his laces tied together at the far post but then Otamendi and Mangala also did a good job (along with the fullbacks as well as Fernandinho and Yaya) of keeping Riyad Mahrez and his jinking his jiving and his left boot from penetrating through the middle of the box. Not many teams have managed that yet.
Though that game was pretty weird from the other perspective. I get that Sergio Aguero isn’t 100% yet and David Silva is coming back from injury too, but there didn’t seem to be enough goal scoring threat there considering that the Foxes aren’t the finest defensive team out there. They did fantastic at clogging the middle as well, as they always do, but I think most people expected more from City. It was almost as if they were settled for a draw. Many may disagree but I read that as another bit of scepticism over Leicester City’s title credentials. Just don’t lose and LCFC will drop points on their own somewhere else.
I chucked the bottom half of the form table in there above, but you know who’s first? Watford. Four wins, a draw and a loss in six and that loss was last game to Tottenham, a game in which the Spurs winner came on the break after Watford had an almost-goal cleared off the line. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million times: this is football, not almost. But that was brutally unlucky.
City should do them though. There won’t be too many goals in it and Aguero is due a strike about now.
Wildcard’s Pick: 1-0 City
Crystal Palace vs Chelsea
It’s just a shame that we won’t get Alan Pardew vs Jose Mourinho in this one. It’s also a shame that we won’t get Patrick Bamford against Palace in this one either. He cut his CPY loan short the other day to return to Chelsea after getting the square root of bugger all chances under Pards. Fair enough, but he didn’t hold back from telling it how it was when he left. No hard feelings or anything, it’s just that players don’t often open up like that.
It’ll be cool for Bamford to find a home on a Bournemouth or something, he’s a fine player and he was superb for Middlesbrough last season in the Championship. Plus he’s a clever lad, speaking several languages, playing a bunch of instruments and he reads books on economics. Also, he turned down a scholarship to Harvard to pursue a career in football. You can understand why he’d be impatient to get on with actually playing then, right?
Neither team is exactly in sizzling form. Chelsea are working to rediscover the stability of old and Palace are six games unbeaten but their last two have been 0-0’s against relegation candidates. They can’t score from their strikers, as Bamford noted, and Yohann Cabaye is suspended for this one. Plus they didn’t look the same without Yannick Bolasie in the team. He was sensational when they beat Chelsea near the start of the season. Chelsea defended well against a less-than-completely-impotent United team the other day but, like, if that’s what they’re offering on attack then no thanks.
Wildcard’s Pick: 0-0
Everton vs Tottenham Hotspur
Teams to have won on both Boxing Day and the midweek games:
- Liverpool (1-0 Leicester, 1-0 Sunderland)
- Stoke (2-0 vs Man Utd, 4-3 at Everton)
- Tottenham (3-0 vs Norwich, 2-1 at Watford)
Except that Spurs also beat Southampton 2-0 the game before Christmas, so they’re the only team who’s been able to win their last three games over this hectic period of the season. All those quick Europa League turnarounds and the pre-season fitness emphasis is really paying off, hey? Coz they haven’t just been winning, they’ve been pretty convincing in two of those games and now have themselves up in fourth.
It feels like I’m picking too many draws and away wins this weekend but I think Tottenham might have one more in them before they crash of exhaustion. I can’t believe that Bojan and Shaqiri sliced Everton to pieces the other day. I really believed in the Toffees’ defence for a while there. When’s Phil Jagielka back?
Wildcard’s Pick: 2-1 Spurs