Mourinho’s Notebook – February 22
Super Mario or Stupor Mario?
It’s the 84th minute of a Europa League knockout clash. Liverpool v Besiktas at Anfield. It’s a tight game, still 0-0, when Jordan Ibe wins a penalty. Jordan Henderson picks up the ball looking to take it, over strolls Mario Balotelli who takes it from him. Mario takes the kick, he scores, Liverpool win 1-0.
But, man, the drama that followed! Steven Gerrard, working as a pundit while injured (for some unprofessional reason) criticised Balotelli for showing “disrespect” to the Henderson, who was captain for the game. Brendan Rodgers played it down, but expressed his distaste at the “etiquette” on show, while saying that Mario deserved the kick.
Which brings up several issues. Why did they not seemingly know who would take the kick? That’s on the manager. It’s one thing if Balo’s taking the ball from Gerrard, but Henderson has only ever taken one penalty (which he scored) for the Reds – and it was in a pre-season friendly. It was Daniel Sturridge who convinced Henderson to let the Italian take the kick in the end. Rogers made things much more confusing afterwards by saying that he agreed with Mario taking the kick but that he had made Henderson the designated spot kick taker. That’s because Balotelli was a substitute, and when he came on, there clearly wasn’t a set course of action. Sort it out, Rodgers!
Probably most telling though is Gerrard so blatantly taking sides in a non-existent debate between teammates. By the time he got involved, Henderson had already happily congratulated Mario, who publically thanked him later.
For the record, Balotelli has scored 27 of 29 professional penalty attempts.
Eto’o’s Ghost
Not his literal ghost, but the ghost that lives in his house. As per a report in the Daily Mail, Eto’o, who is one of the world’s very highest earning players over the last 15 years, juts bought a £18.5 mansion in Italy, but here’s the kicker: It’s haunted by the ghost of Tutankhamen.
Yep, the mansion was once owned by Lord Carnarvon, who uncovered the tomb of the boy pharaoh, only for a curse of death and suffering to follow him and his excavation team. Then, much more recently, a former Gucci model disappeared from the cliff-side villa in 2001, her body washing up on the shore three weeks later. Apparently her ghost still haunts the place.
Except, as good as this story may be, it came from the Daily Mail. So it’s probably wrong. For example, the headline reads: Former Chelsea star Samuel Eto'o buys £18.5million luxury villa blighted by the curse of Tutankhamun.
The first line reads: A former Premier League star is reportedly set to buy an £18.5million Italian mansion which locals say is haunted by the curse of the Tutankhamun.
Spot the difference? Like, the blatant lie in the headline? Anyway, Eto’o had his own say on the matter.
Juan Cuadrado Is NOT Learning English From a Former Playboy Model, Sorry
According to a tabloid (read: false) tale, the Chelsea signing had been recruiting a former Playboy model to teach him English. The word from the graveyards of journalistic integrity suggested that Cuadrado, who only speaks Spanish, had been in touch with former Hefner Nudist Carla Howe over Instagram and had agreed to let her teach him the native tongue. So to speak.
Apparently Howe learned to speak Spanish on a trip to Los Angeles (where… it’s the official language?). She’s also been ‘romantically’ linked to both Patrice Evra and Luke Shaw, if you choose to believe such things.
But Chelsea had said all along that they intended to provide a tutor for Cuadrado, and upset at these rumours they asked him to kindly affirm the situation. He obliged.
The thing that’s really weird about this story is that it’s reported as fact without a single shred of evidence. Either they’re reporting rumour as truth or they have unnamed sources that they can’t even acknowledge the existence of.
In other un-researched, un-substantiated football news this week:
John Terry has NOT agreed to star in a remake of classic sea thriller ‘Jaws’
Wayne Rooney has NOT converted to Scientology
Harry Redknapp has NOT enrolled in night classes for financial management
Joey Barton has NOT chosen to retire in favour of a new career in stand-up comedy
Harry Kane will NOT marry Pippa Middleton in a star-studded ceremony this weekend
Louis Van Gaal did NOT serve a prison sentence for the manslaughter of a noisy neighbour back in the 1970s
Alan Shearer did NOT die in a boating accident in 1998 and was NOT replaced in the Newcastle side by his identical twin
Lord Bendtner is Confused By His Nickname
“The problem with this [nickname] is that I do not know where it comes from and understand if it is funny. Am I being ridiculed? Is it serious? I think it is a phenomenon of the youth. They think that sounds good.”
Social Media Stunners
You'd think if any team knew how to park a bus it woulda been Chelsea...
