Mourinho’s Notebook – Hard Bargains, Handcuffs & Assistants
No, He’s Mine! Hands Off!
It’s becoming a growing trend in football. Bigger clubs are finding it harder and harder to pry away talent from the next level of team. It’s a strategy that has seen Bayern Munich embark on a decade of near-complete dominance in Germany, hoarding all the best players of their closest rivals. In the past teams such as Manchester United, Manchester City and Chelsea have had no trouble doing similar things but the tide appears to be turning.
Look at how hard it was to force through the Raheem Sterling transfer despite the fact that every single party was either strongly in favour or completely resigned to its inevitability. Or how Southampton were able to keep Morgan Schneiderlin for a year longer than anyone expected despite plenty of interest.
Now we have Roberto Martinez and Everton digging in their heels over a potential move for John Stones to Chelsea. The young English centre-back is already one of the premier players in his position and it just so happens that Mr Mourinho has his eyes on a new player in defence.
It’s a dream move for Stones, a perfect fit on a Champions League team. But the club don’t wanna sell him. It’s an issue that Everton have had for a while now, they get to a certain level but no higher as their best players are poached by larger clubs. Granted, they do get plenty of remuneration here. Think names like Marouane Fellaini, Jack Rodwell (when he was a major prospect), Mikel Arteta, Joleon Lescott and some lad named Wayne Rooney.
Not Leighton Baines, Ross Barkley or Seamus Coleman though. Those three have all committed to the club after major speculation and maybe you can add John Stones to that list.
But the difference is that Stones wants to go and the club are holding tight. He’s handed in a transfer request and it’s been rejected by the club.
"Money cannot buy everything" – so says Roberto Martinez.
By the way, Stones isn’t an Everton youth product. He was bought for £3m from Barnsley in 2013 and two and a half years later they just rejected a rumoured British defender record transfer fee for him. Where this gets ugly is with the way this saga has pushed the fan pressure onto Stones. Gary Lineker sums this up pretty well here:
There’s even a story going around that Stones was reduced to tears at a service station as Toffees fans abused him. Steven Naismith had to leap to his defence.
Look at the way that Sterling was turned into the villain in his debacle. And you can definitely see the same thing happening soon with West Brom firmly telling Spurs to bugger off in their pursuit of Saido Berahino this week too.
Mario on a Leash
Mario Balotelli has finally gotten his move away from Liverpool, sacrificing that big contract bonus for the chance to actually play football every now and then. He’ll join AC Milan on a season-long loan, returning to the team he signed for the Reds from at the start of last season.
It’s a move Brendan Rodgers and Liverpool were desperate for but it’s a weird one from AC Milan, who so happily washed their hands of him 12 months ago (though they had a terrible season without the man who scored 30 times in 54 games for them over two seasons – he scored 4 in 28 for LFC).
He’s not coming back without compromise though. Super Mario will have a good behaviour clause in his contract, a clause that will prohibit things such as:
- Social media posts that damage the integrity of the club (his posts will be closely monitored)
- Extravagant haircuts
- Unhealthy lifestyle choices
- Dramatic clothing and appearances
- Turning up late to training
- Smoking
- Night clubbing
- Excessive drinking
Basically, it’s something close to a copy of the behaviour clauses that you get in the Italian Air Force.
And Liverpool, it seems, couldn’t help but take one last jab at the player that so many advised them to steer clear of in the first place for his personality clash with the LFC ideals under Rodgers. No sooner had he gone then another story about a silly training ground incident appeared in the Liverpool Echo. Someone was quick on the leak.
What happened is that Balotelli turned up at practice and saw a teammate was using the new iPhone 6. Balo didn’t have one himself yet, and he “was visibly irked according to observers”.
He then complained of a hamstring issue a little while later after during warm-ups. He went inside to see the medical staff.
“When the Liverpool squad returned to the dressing room at the end of the session 90 minutes later, they were surprised by what greeted them. There was a beaming Balotelli sat in the corner, with a new iPhone 6 in his hand and a few spares boxed up next to him. One of his minions had been hastily dispatched to do some shopping. The pain in his hamstring had miraculously eased.”
Wanna Be an Assistant to a Pro?
Looking for work? Well, if you’re game then you might wanna apply to be Sunderland striker Jermain Defoe’s personal assistant. But be warned, it’s no entry level layabout job.
“We are looking for a highly experienced Executive Personal Assistant who will be working closely with senior manager of Defoe Enterprise Ltd.”
Obviously that senior manager is Jermain Defoe. Sounds like a quality gig right?
“On a day to day basis you will be involved in scheduling and highly organizing the managers and the families private, social and business calendars, arranging all public appearances, arranging and securing travel arrangements, working on selected business projects and maintaining daily itineraries.” (sic)
Lots of work, for sure. Let’s look at some of the specifics though, because this sounds like a very demanding role.
RESPONSIBILITIES:
- Diary management for Sandra and Jermain (goes without saying)
- Data management and administration duties (fair enough)
- Dealing with incoming emails, faxes and post (faxes!?)
- Drafting emails on director/managers behalf (supposedly sending them too?)
- Answering Calls and handling enquiries (as you’d expect)
- Create database of all business contacts (organise the bloke’s address book)
- Produce daily/Weekly briefs via email (keep the boss informed)
- Writing minutes and taking dictations (bring a pen)
- Prepare Presentations (must have powerpoint)
- Arrange travelling and accommodation for Jermain (five stars and business class)
- Working on certain projects and carrying out research (keeping busy)
- Liaison with sponsors i.e. addidas etc. (so that they don’t find out the boss can’t spell their name)
- Briefing directors/managers before meetings and appearances (don’t let JD embarrass himself)
- Travelling with Jermain/ Sandra on business meetings UK (international when required) (Do you think Jermain wrote this all himself?)
- Occasional travel alone for business meetings setting up business opportunities for Jermain (nothing personal, just business)
- Organising manager on a daily basis: lunch etc. (find someone to cook the man some eggs)
But there are also a whole bunch of ‘Errands’, ‘Properties’, ‘Social Events’, ‘Family’ and ‘Branding’ roles that need taking care of. These include and will not be limited to: picking up the dry-cleaning, stocking the fridge, watering the plants, booking all social events (specifically: theatre, concerts, cinema, musicals, restaurants, spa days & family outings), overseeing security, domestic cleaners and gardeners, managing and organising family members and pets, planning for birthdays and other celebrations, creating a global brand for the Jermain Defoe name, growing his social media platforms, producing iPhone apps, sorting out sponsorship opportunities and potentially creating his “own clothing line/fragrance for e-commerce on his website”.
To be honest, if there’s a person alive capable of doing all that then they’re more than earned the rumoured £50-60k annual salary.
Dodoo to the Rescue
All hail the next superstar of English football (or in the very least, the next Danny Shittu)… Leicester City academy product Joe Dodoo.
20 year old Dodoo [*snicker*] scored a hat-trick on debut for the club in their 4-1 league cup win against Bury this week.
The youngster was so impressive that manager Claudio Ranieri is considering handing him a Premier League debut on the back of this game. Which is bound to excite tabloid hacks and twitter comedians everywhere.
Of course, there have been worse names in sport in the past…
