Mourinho’s Notebook – El Bandito Diego & Five-Time Bobby
El Bandito Diego
In a world where inequality still runs rife, where climate change threatens and our economies are run on scales of greed and corruption, where politicians cannot be trusted and where one in nine people suffers from chronic undernourishment… nothing gets us more riled up than a footballer getting another footballer sent off.
Diego Costa is currently on the run from the police. He finds himself on the FBI Most Wanted list and is classed by the United Nations as a global terrorist… okay that’s not true. But he did get a three match ban for his slappy hands in Laurent Koscielny’s face last weekend.
Violent conduct. The same charge (and length of ban) he got when he stomped on Emre Can last season. It’s pretty harsh for two minutes of generally just acting like a dickhead, and feels more than a little like a retrospective olive branch to upset Arsenal fans after Gabriel’s own red in the resulting chaos was rescinded. Especially since Costa would only have gotten a one match ban for the second yellow Gabriel and co. were clamouring for.
Anyway, the decision has been made, as they say. If you want more on that from earlier in the week, click here. If you’d rather hear it then click here (and skip to around 50 or so mins in).
It’s just a shame that we now have to wait another three games for Costa’s next infuriating performance. Say what you want about his character, he’s pretty despicable on the field for sure, but he’s nothing else if not entertaining. And it is pretty dumb of us all to get so wired about a footballer trying underhand measures to win a football game too.
Of course, Costa’s case hasn’t been helped by one of his own teammates calling him a cheat.
“Everyone knows Diego and this guy likes to cheat a lot and put the opponents out of his game, and that happened in the game.” – Kurt Zouma
Which Kurt, also known as Kenan from Kenan and Kel, was quick to correct himself for.
“Sorry for any confusion, English is not my first language & I did not mean to accuse anyone of cheating. Simply to say Diego is a player who puts pressure on his opponents & who I have huge respect for.”
Fair enough.
Robert’s Five-For
Down 1-0 at half time in a game that they were dominating against Wolfsburg, Bayern Munich needed a hero. On came Bobby Lewandowski.
In the 51st minute he equalised. In the 60th minute he scored his fifth. Yeah, no typo, Lewandowski scored 5 goals in 9 minutes as a substitute. The fifth was one of the goals of the season, what a hit.
"I've never experienced anything like that in my life! Five goals in nine minutes!" – Pep Guardiola
Having said that, he then went half an hour without a goal. Pretty inexcusable really. Ricardo Rodriguez made a nice attempt to deny a sixth goal, clearing it off the line.
“What can I say? A world-class striker shot five times on goal and could have scored seven. That is how it happened.” Wolfsburg manager Dieter Hecking.
His hat-trick came within five minutes from first goal to third. That in itself is amazing. The quickest hatty in the Premier League came last season when Sadio Mane bagged a treble in 2 minutes and 56 seconds, though he settled for only the three. Just think, if it weren’t for that meddlesome volcanic ash then the Polish striker might have been doing his thang at Ewood Park in Blackburn, rather than Allianz Arena in Munich. No, seriously.
That from ESPN on April 17, 2010. How things could have been so very different. In hindsight this final paragraph is pretty ominous:
German side Dortmund have signalled their interest but maintain they cannot afford to become embroiled in a bidding war. "We think Lewandowski would be served by moving to Borussia," Dortmund chairman Hans-Joachim Watzke said. "But we have no chance if his club think about only getting the highest fee."
In case you were wondering, Bayern are top of the Bundesliga with 6 wins from 6, scoring 20 and conceding just 3. Business as usual, really.
Rules? No Thanks, We’re Barcelona
Remember the Barcelona transfer embargo that they got for illegally signing a bunch of foreign youngsters? Remember how they appealed it and got it postponed and then effectively stocked up for the winter thus defeating half the purpose of the ban in the first place? Remember how even though the ban is currently in effect, they were still able to sign players, they just can’t register them?
Well, midfielder Rafinha’s done his knee quite badly, forcing him out for six months. As such they’re now one pair of boots shorter in the middle of the park and so, being Barcelona, they’ve appealed to the Spanish FA and FIFA to allow them to register Arda Turan ahead of the end schedule.
“The club has contacted the Spanish federation and Fifa to ask whether they can replace Rafinha. Looking into the regulations it seems as though it is possible to register him as the two transfer windows are now passed.” – A spokesman for Barcelona FC
There’s a possible hitch in the rules where a team can register a new player outside of transfer windows due to unforeseen emergencies such as an injury crisis. And God knows an injury to a player who has started 2 of their 5 league game is nothing but a crisis.
Thankfully FIFA has politely told them to bugger off.
Barca are said to be considering taking it to the Court of Arbitration for Sport, though they tried that once before with the ban itself and left with their tails between their legs.
Displays of Manhood
“I’m sure there are things that David would do differently if he had the opportunity to relive his time at Old Trafford. Such as keeping Mick Phelan [Fergie’s assistant], who would have been the invaluable guide to the many layers of the club that Ryan Giggs is to Louis van Gaal today.
“There is no point suddenly changing routines that players are comfortable with. It is counterproductive, saps morale and immediately provokes players to question the new man’s motives. A leader who arrives in a new setting, or inherits a big role, needs to curb the impulse to display his manhood.”
That’s Sir Alex Ferguson in his new book, ‘Leadership’ (Out now at all reputable book stores!), talking about David Moyes and a few of the mistakes he may have made in succeeding him at Manchester United. Such as impulsively showing off his “manhood”. Moyes lasted less than a season at United and was eventually replaced by Louis Van Gaal. Who, on the subject of not displaying manhood… well, let’s just leave this thing here: