Flying Kiwis – March 7
Max Crocombe - Grimsby Town (English League Two)
These days don’t come around very often, maybe once in an entire career for a lower league soldier – a tag which you’d have to say still applies to Crocombe who has never played above League Two (although he did have a couple years in the A-League). We’re talking about an FA Cup fifth round fixture against a Premier League opponent. The magic of the cup in essence. Southampton versus Grimsby Town. What an occasion.
Grimsby Town last made it this deep in the FA Cup way back in 1996 but their fans weren’t making the trek to Southampton merely to enjoy the sights. They’d taken down three League One teams and then one of the better Championship teams to get this far so up against the bottom team in the Premier League they fancied their chances. Huge underdogs of course... but funny things do happen in the FA Cup.
Crocombe’s been everpresent through the earlier rounds so he was there amongst it, no surprises. It was full strength on a Wednesday night local time as Grimsby Town went searching for something special. Massive support at the away end with every second jerry bringing an inflatable fish to wave around. Something to do with being a fishing town, there are fish on the GTFC badge. It was all good fun. Everything poised for a great night of footy.
Southampton were busy from the outset seeking to get runners behind the back three. Crocombe was therefore involved bright and early, rushing out to make a good save 1v1 against Sékou Mara – not a great shot from Mara but Crocombe stayed big and denied him with his shoulder. Turned out Mara was comfortably offside so it wouldn’t have counted. The same thing happened when Mara beat Crocombe on a cut-back from Moussa Djennepo, MC unable to keep it out with his left hand at the near post, but Djennepo was also offside so we remained level.
Meanwhile Crocombe got his hands on a few simple ones, consistently hoofed the ball miles downfield with his punts, and watched his team work up a couple of half decent opportunities themselves... including one late in the first half where a deflected cross at the back stick wasn’t able to be turned home, except it turned out the deflection had come from the arm of a Southampton defender. VAR in action for this one. Penalty awarded after a long check (they had to be sure of a possible offside in the lead-in too). Gavan Holahan took the spottie... and buried it. 1-0 to the Mariners. Inflatable fish went flying in the away end.
Southampton had 72% of possession in the first half but their best moments had been flagged offside. They needed to spark things up in the second spell yet instead they gave away another penalty when Duje Caleta-Carr slugged Danilo Orsi in the back after some mutual shirt-tugging. Entirely stupid from DCC. Holahan placed the ball once more and scored once more. Grimsby Town were up 2-0 after 50 minutes. Remember that thing about the magic of the cup? Yeah mate.
The Saints made subs. James Ward-Prowse was one of the blokes introduced and on 65 mins he swung a corner kick that Cajeta-Carr nudged in wide open at the back post. Southampton were back in it via some redemption from DCC. On came Theo Walcott and Joe Aribo for Southampton in the aftermath. Two more attacking moves. The pressure was immense. Siege warfare at the back... although a mistake at the back from the Saints did allow John McAtee to run through on goal from half-way only for his touch to fail him as the keeper scooped it up. Fifteen minutes remaining.
Walcott seemed to have tied things up with ten to go when he got in behind then finished sweetly on the swivel as Crocombe stepped out. But guess what? Slightly offside, VAR eventually spotted it. Teams were all set for kick-off when the goal was chalked off. Ten to go, still 2-1.
Time ticked down and Crocombe brought out his expert time-wasting abilities – which, if you didn’t already know, are of a prodigious genius. Crocombe went down twice with cramp. There was another one where he sneakily kept the ball in on the goal-line but didn’t pick it up straight away, wasting more time until a player closed him down. Southampton missed with a few crosses. There were blocks and clearances. Kyle Walker-Peters blazed narrowly wide. The six added-on minutes went by. And then, finally, the game ended as Crocombe pummelled a goal kick high and long and into the record books.
BBC.com:“Grimsby are just the sixth team from the fourth tier or below to reach the last eight of the FA Cup Cup since the introduction of the division in 1958-59 - and the first since National League Lincoln City shocked Premier League Burnley in 2017. They are the 13th side from the fourth division or below to have beaten top-flight opponents in the competition since the Football League was rebranded at the start of the 2004-05 campaign.”
Fun fact: no team had even knocked out five teams from divisions above them in a single FA Cup campaign... until now. And as the last remaining League Two team in the pot they’ll have the chance to make it six when they take on Brighton & Hove in the quarters.
We don’t really need to talk about how they then lost 2-0 to Carlisle on the weekend, back in League Two. That’s not the one that mattered.
Up Next: Weds at 8.45am against Newport County; Sun at 4am home to Rochdale (NZT)
Ryan Thomas – PEC Zwolle (Dutch Eerste Divisie)
Having made his return from that sneaky hamstring twinge off the bench last week, only missing two games in the end, Ryan Thomas was thrust back into the starters for the visit of Den Bosch. It was a game that Zwolle were expected to win pretty handily considering that their opponents are lingering near the relegation zone... but then again they’d just lost two in a row themselves to allow their lead at the top to dwindle somewhat.
That made this an important opportunity to back to winning ways. In came Ryan Thomas to their midfield ranks. And you know how sometimes you have one of those days where everything just goes right? Yeah...
To get this straight, PEC Zwolle scored in the second minute of the match through Apostolos Vellios who went on to score a 12 minute hat-trick. Then he scored again on 27’. In between Vellios’ third and fourth goals there were strikes from Haris Medunjanin and Younes Taha before Thommo set that one up there and it was 7-0 at the break. Yes, you read that correctly. Seven goals to nil at half-time. In fact it should’ve been eight but Thommo himself missed a great chance...
Made up for it with some great work on the way to that assist though. Zwolle then eased off for the rest of that spell and with the damage already more than done they made a triple sub at HT which, no surprises, involved Ryan Thomas taking an early rest. No reason to risk him out there. RT finished the match with an assist and perfect 22/22 passing success. With his team slicing and dicing as they were, he really only had to sit in midfield and facilitate things with the occasional foray forward when things aligned and he did that with quiet proficiency.
Oh but Zwolle weren’t done there. One of the subs introduced was Lennart Thy and he scored within a minute of the restart and went on to bag a hatty of his own. Chuck in Thomas Beelen and Davy can den Berg goals and the final score was a hearty 13-0. Bloody hell. Here’s the proof if you still don’t believe it...
Up Next: Willem II vs PEC Zwolle on Saturday at 8am (NZT)
Matthew Garbett – Torino (Italian Serie A)
Sticking to the Dutch second tier, there was another solid effort from Matt Garbett for NAC Breda as they came from behind to beat Jong PSV 2-1. Fedde Leyson had put the PSV youngsters into the lead on 21’ finishing off a nice with a glancing looping header from a corner, a strange goal but one which felt like it had been coming for a wee while prior. However NAC Breda were able to turn things around in the second half thanks to a Cuco Martina double.
The Curaçao defender looked a threat whenever he could get forward for set pieces although his 51st minute equaliser was a tad fortunate as a corner kick kinda just dropped in off him from six yards out at the near post. Ah but his second goal was a banger on 70 mins. Fizzed in from outside the area. 2-1 final score. Catch some highlights over here.
As for Matty Garbs... he was subbed with about fifteen to go. Got a yellow card in there but did some tidy midfield work as guy with the most creative licence amongst the trio. Some choice instances of dribbling through pressure to open things up. A few slick passes into space. Some not-so-slick ones over longer distances. He’s settling in. This win keeps them on track for playoff footy.
Up Next: 8am on Saturday vs MVV (NZT)
Olivia Chance - Celtic FC (Scottish Premier League)
She may have rushed back from Ferns tour to ensure she was available for the big derby game against Rangers (a 3-0 win, Chance getting ninety mins in midfield) but there was no need to get greedy with another start in the subsequent midweek. Hence as Celtic travelled to face Hamilton Accies, Liv Chance was only on the bench amongst five changes overall – with half an eye on the Glasgow City title race match-up to follow.
The thing about that is other players needed rest too. Thus with the team 3-0 up at the break and looking comfortable there was a triple half-time substitution and Chance was one of those introduced. Needless to say the goals kept coming. It actually looks like Chance was used as a makeshift central defender on the left side of the back three, not that there was too much defending to do in this one, yet that didn’t stop her from popping up with the seventh of seven goals. Comprehensive finish after some sloppy set piece defending (the Accies keeper had a shocker in the second half). Get in there...
Turns out this is the third game in a row in which Olivia Chance has scored away to Hamilton Academical. A 7-0 midweek win continued the team’s good form and kept up the pressure on Glasgow City, who themselves had beaten Motherwell 3-0 in the midweek – with Meikayla Moore only getting 11 mins off the bench at the end after the goals had all been scored. Moore then wasn’t in the squad at all for the weekend’s match with Celtic... but Liv Chance was, returning to the starting eleven for another massive game.
This was midfield Liv too, none of that central defensive or wing-back mahi. Hence there she was sweeping the ball out wide to Shen Mengyu early on whose cross was then headed over the top. GC soon went closer with a back stick header of their own rattling off the post. It was a very competitive game, the two top teams on the ladder going toe for toe. Jacynta was up to some fantastic work throughout the first half but couldn’t quite affect the scoreboard, meanwhile a giveaway at the back by Celtic led to a brilliant save and somehow it remained 0-0 at the break.
That stalemate was not to last. As the teams continued to trade blows, it was Glasgow City that found the haymaker they were looking for when Priscilla Chinchilla made a wonderful run in behind from wide left and then finished sharply on 66’ for the lead. Try as they might, Celtic could simply find no way through that City defensive line. The team that picked their kiwi lost to the team that didn’t (though Moore may be injured given her total absence). 1-0 to Glasgow City who move six points clear at the top of the ladder and remain undefeated through 21 matches.
Up Next: Hibernian vs Celtic, Monday at 5.10am (NZT)
Katie Rood - Heart of Midlothian (Scottish Premier League)
Other things happened in Scotland too. None involved Vic Esson who remains sidelined with injury, although she did return to the bench for the weekend’s fixture. Lovely development. Rangers won 5-0 against Partick Thistle and then 1-0 away to Spartans as they seek to get back into the top two with Champions League positions on offer even if defending their league title is looking unlikely. Here’s something to help soothe your Vic Esson withdrawal symptoms...
The matchday experience was better for Katie Rood thanks to a pair of positive away wins for Hearts. Not so much the first game, as Rood was on the bench while they scored both their goals in a 2-0 midweek win over Dundee. She was subbed on for the last twenty with Hearts continuing to run the show though never did find a third goal. That was not to be a problem in the next game. Roodie re-emerged in the starting team and they waltzed their way to a 3-0 win over Glasgow Women.
Not even five minutes into this match we nearly witnessed another Rood worldie of a solo goal as she went weaving past defenders before having her shot expertly tipped wide. From the ensuing corner Rood peeled off for the low pass and saw her first time effort saved onto the crossbar... before Emma Brownlie slipped it over the line with her second attempt on the rebound. No assist but Rood was massively influential in that opening goal.
She nearly set up another goal with another mazy dribble, this time getting all the way to the byline but nobody could put a decisive boot to the tasty cut-back. Then she won a penalty in the second half. Her initial run had kept the ball in play. Ciara Grant’s shot was subsequently blocked but Rood was dragged back before she could latch onto the seconds. Roodie took the spot kick herself... but it was saved. Aimed it low for the corner pocket but got the angles slightly wrong and goalie Shannon Burgon denied her. Hearts also hit the crossbar with a header from the resulting corner.
Glasgow Women weren’t really creating anything, they only had one shot all game, so eventually the dams did burst. Ciara Grant whipped a looping free kick into the top corner on 82’. Gwen Davies then scored a fine one in stoppage time angling in from the left. Rood was open in the middle, just sayin’, but all goods. 3-0 to Heart of Midlothian with Roodie serving up another excellent performance... one missed penalty aside.
Up Next: Hearts vs Spartans at 5.10am on Monday (NZT)
Bill Tuiloma – Charlotte FC (American Major League Soccer)
File this under the category of ‘Not Ideal’...
Charlotte signed Tuiloma knowing that he’s a massive goal threat but they weren’t expecting his first for the club to go soaring into his own net. OG for BT. Bit of a freak one, just gotta cop those ones on the chin.
CFC had scored first through an excellent goal from Enzo Copetti via a lovely header from a swift counter attack... though in fairness they’d been fortunate to avoid a couple of earlier chances back the other way. Some sloppiness at the back already visible. That Charlotte team not yet looking like a well-oiled machine early in the new season. They have kept a pretty stable team from last year though have made one major addition in each of the lines: Tuiloma in defence, Ashley Westwood in midfield, and Copetti up front. Westwood is the same bloke who was teammates for ages with Chris Wood at Burnley. Every week there’s a funky coincidence like that, aye?
Opponents St Louis City were playing their first ever home game - a brand new expansion club up against the previous most recent expansion club. The two youngest clubs in the MLS in other words. So not only was Tuiloma’s goal an unfortunate equaliser but it was also the first ever home goal scored by St Louis. Later on they got their second, in stoppage time of the first half, after a cross his a Charlotte hand and Eduard Lowen did the deed from the penalty spot (45+5’). It was still anyone’s game at that stage however Charlotte struggled to convert possession into chances and then shot themselves in the foot with twenty to go as Tui’s CB partner Adilson Malanda passed the ball directly to an attacker, Joao Klauss, who needed no second invitation. 3-1 was how it ended. Their own mistakes costing them dearly. Write it off to early season issues.
Up Next: Home against Atlanta United at 6am on Sunday (NZT)
Chris Wood - Nottingham Forest (English Premier League)
Another day, another dollar for Chris Wood and Nottingham Forest. Had to work for it but a 2-2 draw against Everton keeps them ticking over and avoids losing any ground on a relegation rival beneath them. Everton, of course, now managed by Sean Dyche. They’ve also got James Tarkowski and Dwight McNeil in their ranks (and both starting here) so it was a bit like a Burnley FC reunion out there. Michael Keane’s an ex-Burnley player too although he left for Everton about a month before Chris Wood joined the club.
Wood was named up front alongside Brennan Johnson with Morgan Gibbs-White operating as a central ten behind/between them. Big strong striker and smaller fast striker... that age-old combination. Having said that, other than chasing down a few passes across the defence and hurling himself towards a set piece cross, Wood hadn’t done a whole lot before Jonjo Shelvey (an ex-Newcastle teammate) stuck a leg out and tripped McNeil (old Burnley Bro) in the area and Demarai Gray (no connection – although they did both play for Leicester at different times) converted the penalty for a tenth minute Everton lead.
Touches were rare for Wood as Everton controlled the territory. Yet he did get steadily more involved as Forest grew into the match and it was his sharp lay-off for Gibbs-White that led to a strong shot from MGW. That one was saved but then Johnson tucked it in on the rebound. The coach must’ve loved it: the front three all combining for a 19th min equaliser...
They almost took the lead straight afterwards when Wood made a quick burst for the near post but his flicked header was deflected wide off an Everton defender at close range. But then ten minutes after that it was 2-1 to Everton again. Forest had begun to boss things until an extremely Sean Dyche set piece routine saw keeper Jordan Pickford punt long from inside his own half, leading to a header nudged across by Tarkowski in the corner of the box, then a second header from Keane centrally, before Abdoulaye Doucoure slipped in a third-consecutive header from close. Awful set piece organisation from Nottm Forest, gotta be honest.
Wood remained out there until the 71st minute when Andre Ayew took his place as part of a triple change. It was still 2-1 to Everton at that point and Wood had been forced to content himself with that one blocked shot early on and a whole lot of aerial challenges. Not too many touches, certainly nothing like his lay-off leading to the first goal. But to be fair there were an increasing number of crosses flipped into his direction, usually from set pieces and usually from Jonjo Shelvey’s boots. Glad to see some more of that integration going on (helps that Shelvey and Wood already know each other’s tendencies from Newcastle). Not enough of it yet but we’re talking about progress, at least.
Still 2-1 down with twenty to go though, had to be time for a change or three. And it worked because Brennan Johnson scored another on 77’, working a one-two from wide with Ryan Yates and then a sumptuous touch-and-shot from BJ got it done. A rare moment in a second half almost entirely devoid of clear attacks. 2-2 was the way it ended.
Up Next: Sunday at 4am away to Tottenham Hotspur (NZT)
The WSL Contingent (English Women’s Super League)
Can’t really pick a headliner for this segment because there’s nobody actually playing. We’re on injury update watch in the WSL right now, alas. Rebekah Stott is the most interesting one because while Brighton had the weekend off due to scheduled opponents Chelsea partaking in the League Cup final (they lost 3-1 to Arsenal despite Sam Kerr giving them an early lead), they were still big in the news as head coach Jens Scheuer left the club via a mutual decision.
Scheuer, a former Bayern Munich women’s manager, had only joined the team a couple months ago replacing Hope Powell. Only had six games in charge, failing to win any of the three WSL games he helmed: 3-0 defeat to Leicester City, a 1-1 draw vs Aston Villa, then a 6-2 defeat to Aston Villa. Scheuer did give Stotty her (second) club debut amongst those fixtures so there’s that. There was also a yarn that he claimed he’d watched the 6-2 vs Villa back eight times during the international break which is surely enough to break anyone.
This feels like a coach who wants to get his team pressing high and playing fast but simply doesn’t have the time to implement that mid-season in a relegation battle. Nor can the club risk that approach with their place in the WSL at stake. So they’ve agreed to part ways in search of a better short-term solution. Amy Merricks will take over as interim for the second time this campaign.
Not having a game, there was no injury update on how Stott is tracking having missed the first game back after a Footy Ferns tour in which she played no part either. Have to wait ‘til next week for that. Meanwhile Aston Villa had a tidy 2-0 win away against Everton on the weekend with Kenza Dali (5’) and an own goal (67’) putting them on the road to victory. But Anna Leat didn’t play again. She was “touch-and-go” a couple of weeks ago with that back injury she’s been dealing with and nothing seems to have changed so she’s gotta be close. Villa went without a backup goalie on the bench against Everton.
Needless to say Ria Percival remains hard at work towards her return from ACL surgery. No major updates, just steady progress. She was pictured on the grass at training last week doing some ball work – doesn’t seem to be doing the contact stuff quite yet. Spurs lost 3-1 to Manchester City this round with Khadija Shaw scoring a hatty for City.
Then there’s CJ Bott... who also got hurt with the Football Ferns. Leicester City hadn’t played in the first week back from internationals as they’d already been knocked out of the FA Cup so the match away to Manchester United in the WSL was their first since mid-February. Coach Willie Kirk had mentioned ahead of that fixture that: “we've got one player who came back from the international break with a knock, where we're also waiting to see the condition of this player ahead of the match”. No guesses as to who that was. In the end Bott had to sit out the United game.
Instead academy youngster Jess Reavill given a debut at right back as the Foxes went on to lose 5-1. Aussie Remy Siemsen did score on debut, at least. But United battered them (33 shots to 2, 15 shots on target to 1, 70% possession). Leicester remain last on the ladder and the two teams directly ahead of them are Brighton and Spurs. Villa are going great in fifth, fair play to them, but it’s going to be a tricky balancing act to get out of this season without a kiwi relegation.
Up Next: Yoga sessions, protein shakes, homeopathic remedies... whatever it takes to get everyone fit again
Alex Greive - St Mirren (Scottish Premiership)
The fears were that Alex Greive could be out for the rest of the season after he limped off in the first half of a 5-1 cup loss to Celtic last month. As it happens, he only missed three games. Not only that but when he made his comeback this week he was chucked straight back into the starting team... for a 5-1 loss to Celtic (in the league this time). Strange how that goes.
It only took three minutes before he showed his value by winning a penalty kick. It wasn’t initially given but a looksee from the VAR confirmed that Greive’s flick had caught a Celtic arm in the penalty area. Captain Mark O’Hara stepped up to spot (instead of Greivesy, ah well) and buried that thing with confidence. 1-0 to St Mirren after six minutes.
That was to be their only shot of the game – that’s total shots, not just shots on target. They had 17% of total possession and were eventually dismantled by a rampant Celtic team continuing their savage recent form. It was still 1-0 at half-time... but only just. And by then they were down to ten men. A mistake from Charles Dunne in letting the ball run at the back had blown up in his face when Kyogo Furuhashi snuck around him to go through on goal. Or... he would’ve been through on goal had Dunne not rugby tackled him to the ground. Straight red card. Greive was then to be the bloke subbed off to allow for another defender to be brought on.
Without him things went wild in a hurry. Ten minutes into the second half Jota snuck one over the line for the Hoops and from there it was one-way traffic as Alistair Johnstone (61’), Liel Abada (70’), Matt O’Riley (72’), and Oh Hyeon-gyu (81’ pen) strolled it. It got ugly in the second half but this was always a game that the Buddies were expected to lose. At least AG is fit and playing footy again. Catch some highlights.
Up Next: Sunday at 4am away to Dundee United (NZT)
Sarpreet Singh - SSV Jahn Regensburg (German Bundesliga 2)
Another week and another 1-0 loss for Regensburg. Fortuna Düsseldorf were their opponents and it was a close game all the way as the visitors held more of the ball but Regensburg went closer to scoring in the first half – Aygün Yildirim hitting the woodwork early on. Sarpreet Singh forced a couple of saves along the way but those chances eased up in the second half. The game started to drag with defence the priority for both sides. Seemed we were on course for a goalless draw... until Regensburg conceded a penalty and Dawid Kownacki buried it for the 86th minute winner. Singh fizzed a free kick over the top in stoppage time in desperate search of a late equaliser. Didn’t happen.
Regensburg last won a 2.Liga game on 23 October. They’re now dead last on the ladder having dropped below Sandhausen on goals scored. At least we got ninety minutes from Sarpreet Singh who continues to look like his team’s best hope of goals. In six games since the winter break they’ve scored only twice: one assisted by Singh, one scored by Singh.
Up Next: Monday at 1.30 away to Holstein Kiel (NZT)
Callum McCowatt - FC Helsingør (Danish Division 1)
Frustrating week in the top division of Denmark, with Marko Stamenic an unused sub again as FCK cruised to a 7-0 win against nine-man Odense (the first red card at 0-0 after 28’, the second at 5-0 after 61’). Plus he had the same deal in a 2-0 cup win over Vejle a few days earlier. When you’ve already announced that you’re leaving, it’s going to be tough to get minutes. Understandable... at least they’re winning.
Also had Eli Just on the bench for Horsens again, getting a shade under thirty minutes of action however his team lost 2-0 to AGF with the goals both scored before he entered. Did his best to impact the game but wasn’t able to turn things around. Joe Bell did at least continue his fine recent work for Brøndby away against Lyngby though they conceded midway through the first half so Bell’s defensive efforts were soon sacrificed for a more attacking option. Didn’t help, lost 1-0. Busts up their steady progress up the ladder by knocking them out of the top six with only two rounds left before the championship/relegation split. Work to be done there.
So at least we had Callum McCowatt doing what needed doing with an assist in a 2-0 win for Helsingør over Hillerød. Niklas Mouritsen (14’) and Alexander Lyng (67’) got the goals. McCowatt played 81 minutes. An important win for FCH who are now all but assured of top six status for their own pro/rel rounds in Division 1.
Up Next: Away to Fremad Amager at 1am on Sunday (NZT)
If you rate the Flying Kiwis yarns each week, support the mahi with a nudge on our Patreon
Also get amongst some Substack action, whack an ad, shout us a bevvy, and tell a mates about us
Keep cool but care