It wasn’t supposed to end like this, but it did. Australia easing home by seven wickets after a ruthlessly good effort with the ball, keeping us to only 183. The Blackcaps captured the attention of a nation over the past month and a half, people who never before gave a second thought to The Gentlemen’s Game were living and breathing every ball. Through the efforts and many triumphs of Captain Brendon McCullum and the boys, cricket, if only for a small time, became the sole focus of New Zealand culture. Southee’s seven-for against England, Prince Kane’s winning six against the Aussies at Eden Park, Guptill’s double-century, McCullum’s batting fireworks, Boult’s 22 wickets… Grant Elliott’s six against South Africa to propel us, for the first ever time, into the World Cup Final.

And although it hurts to say so, we were the second best team on the night. Australia deservedly claimed a fifth World Cup and we’re left with the realisation that our best wasn’t quite good enough. That’s gonna be a tough one to overcome.

So in the spirit of patriotic comradeship, here are some tips to help deal with the grief of a proud and successful campaign that fell achingly short of ultimate glory.

Be Gracious And Accepting

A.k.a. Don’t be a sore loser. They sledged and played aggressively. It’s ugly but it’s effective and perfectly legal and if anyone thinks that Australia didn’t deserve to win then they’re mistaken. There was no handling Mitchell Starc, not to mention the rest of that bowling attack. Steve Smith is in the form of his life and Michael Clarke was never gonna let that one slip by. They were too good for us. Plain and simple. There’s no point spoiling a wonderful tournament by whinging and moaning and clutching at moral straws. We should all be more like Brendon McCullum:

"Tonight's performance is somewhat disappointing but at the same time Australia played better. It came down to one game. We gave ourselves an opportunity in this tournament. With so much on the line, ultimately Australia stepped up and were too good for us on the night. It's a credit to them that they were able to do so on the big occasion.”

“I'm really proud of the guys. I thought the way we played throughout this tournament, the brand of cricket we played, we've entertained the people and left nothing out there.”

Recollect The Good Times

Because after all, what a ride it was! We single-handedly broke English cricket, we won two of the greatest One Day Internationals of all-time, Martin Guptill scored a double-century. We made the uncharted territory of a World Cup Final. We’re talking the best limited overs run in New Zealand cricket history and the sport will never be the same again in this country for the better. The next time you’re feeling low, if you’re down and out or heartbroken or upset, just think back and remember where you were and how you felt when Grant Elliott, the Hairy Javelin himself, hit that glorious six.

The MCG was a bridge too far in the end, but we’ll always have Eden Park…

Avoid All Australians

We all know what they’re like. No point in fighting it, just dodge the situation altogether, that way you don’t have to deal with the jibes and the jokes. If you’ve got a loud, obnoxious Aussie fella at work, try time your runs to the printer/water cooler/bathroom so that he doesn’t ‘accidentally’ run into you. Let them all have their moment and lay low for a while. We had a brilliant run, we don’t need that.

Work Your Way Through the Five Stages of Grief

Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.

"No, this can’t be happening!”.

"@#$^&*#$%@+="

“Can you hear me God? If you let Trent Boult get a hat-trick here then I promise I’ll start going to church, I promise…”.

"Oh why have you forsaken us, Natty Mac!?"

"... ah well. We did good."

By now most of us will probably be in the depression stage (most, not all – some of you may still be driving cricket bats through windows and getting a little late swing into the LED screen). That’s lucky, it means you’re nearly there. Get through the down phase and you can finally accept our cricketing fate and see our journey for the inspiration it truly was.

Look To The Future, Where Blue Sky Abounds

Unfortunately this was almost certainly the last bow for the legendary Daniel Vettori. Yet if we can survive that blow then the future is roses. Brendon McCullum can definitely follow the Dilshan model and keep doing what he’s doing in his late 30s (he’ll be 37 next time). Our bowling attack is young and ever-improving, while Prince Kane should be in his prime by then. Rossco, Guppy, Corey… those guys will remain. We’ll probably need to replace Ronchi Kong and The Hairy Jav, as well as a few key depth fellows (Millsy, Nathan Mac, etc.), but that just creates more room for the vast arrays of young talent in the country to step up. The core of this team will be around for years yet. This is only the beginning.

Go Play Cricket

Why not? Don the whites, pad up and hit the nets. Join a social team next season, sign your kids up for a junior team, whatever suits. Or if, like myself, you prefer the cheaper option, go buy a couple boxes of something to quench the thirst and invite all the mates around for some BYC. New Zealand’s favourite summer pastime. One hand/one bounce, auto-keeper, six and out, if you break a window you have to pay for it. Beige shirts optional. Backyard cricket, folks, get involved.

Express Yourself Creatively

Paint a picture, write a song or a poem or a novel or short story. Get crafting. Bake something. Start sketching. Make a macaroni portrait of Brendon McCullum. Carve Dan Vettori’s face into a rock. Write erotic fan-fic about Tim Southee’s teeth. Whatever floats your boat. And when you do, send it to us on facebook or twitter. We genuinely wanna see that stuff.

Remember: It’s Only A Game

Such a dismissive and condescending thing to hear right now, after investing so much time and emotion in this team, but it’s true. There’ll be other World Cups and regardless of what happens, it won’t be the end of the world (unless Cpt. Mac hits a six so hard that the ball travels faster than the speed of light and rips a hole in space, unleashing all manner of deadly creatures and demons from some alternate dimension). It’s been 44 days since the World Cup started, go outside. Call your mum. Return to the big, wide world.

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