When I force myself to absorb other forms of kiwi cricketing media - whether it's mainstream media or commentators - there is one trend that tends to pop up, a trend that can breed a wee bit of insecurity in my loins. The insecurity comes because I question my perception and beliefs of Blackcaps selections, performances, general vibes, stats and everything else that makes up Blackcaps and to a lesser extend cricket in Aotearoa.

Like Ross Taylor though, I back myself. These insecurities vanish quickly because I back myself and also because when I express my opinions about team selections and the poor man-management of players from Mike Hesson and Gavin Larsen, the feedback from youz is immensely positive in my favour.

Even though I am confident in how I perceive Blackcaps matters - kinda because I can put myself in the boots of players - I still have moments when I question myself.

Am I crazy?

Am I the only one who thinks this is all crazy and kiwi cricket is being let down my incapable decision making from people who get paid a lot of money to make such decisions?

A couple thousand views later, $5 in ad revenue later, a few Facebook likes, comments, shares later and youz give me that boost; keep fighting the good fight.

No one else in the media though seems to share my perception. Perhaps because the mainstream media are at the mercy of NZC and have to stick within certain boundaries of niceness to get interviews and information. Obviously I don't give two fucks about that stuff, so I can say what I want.

And what I want to say following a rather devastating demolition in the deciding ODI between Aotearoa and England, isn't all that different to what I've been saying for the past 18 months. Under the Lesson regime, a team that should be competing strongly in high pressure games has routinely under-performed or saved their worst performances for those games.

While the commentators and mainstream media kept talking about a World Cup final or series deciders, I was thinking about an entire Champions Trophy or series' in general overseas where the Blackcaps resemble Pakistan touring Aotearoa. Despite the good vibes that come from bullying weak touring teams, or even delightful performances in a series against strong opposition; there is very little to suggest that the Blackcaps will win the upcoming World Cup.

Winning the World Cup should be the objective, the talent is there and we set our sights high. Based on how the Blackcaps responded to the step up at the last Champions Trophy, there's little to suggest them getting to a semi-final.

I come to this place because the Blackcaps' performance in the 5th ODI against England followed the pattern of under-whelming clutch performances. This is a long-term pattern and although some fault lies with the players for being unable to execute their skills in such situations, the scale of this pattern and what I've consistently said about poor man-management sets the players up to fail when it matters most.

Mark Chapman encapsulates this beautifully, unfortunately.

As an up and coming prospect, Chapman played three ODIs in this series and batted #3, #4 and #5. It really is no surprise that Chapman scored 9 runs in this series, or that his final innings saw him step away from a straight delivery and look as though he was facing Muttiah Muralitharan, not Moeen Ali. As though he was barely a Ford Trophy run-scorer, not the leading run-scorer this summer in 50-over cricket.

What do you expect from a young lad who has been asked to fill Kane Williamson and Ross Taylor's role?

What do you expect from a young lad who has been asked to bat in three different positions against a top-tier ODI bowling attack?

Even from a team perspective, is putting the new kid in Williamson or Taylor's spot the best selection for the team?

Is moving Chapman to #5 for a series decider after he's batted #3 and #4 the best thing for the team?

One would suggest that keeping everything as clear and simple would be ideal for Chapman. That would allow Chapman to contribute to the team's performances, instead of looking as he did in a series decider.

There are other areas of concern, which is an under-statement. I again side with the players and while mainstream media question Colin de Grandhomme's cricketing smarts, or ability to not slog, this is far less about de Grandhomme and much more about coaching, player development, team selection.

Anyone who knows kiwi cricket, knows de Grandhomme plays his way. We have seen little development in de Grandhomme's batting other than his slogging getting better and that's perfect for a specific role, yet de Grandhomme's spot in this batting order requires a wee bit more. Ultimately; how has de Grandhomme not developed as a batsman to the point where he can adjust his batting to suit situations?

Who is coaching de Grandhomme? Who is talking de Grandhomme through his role in the team? Who is dictating what situations de Grandhomme finds himself in via team selections?

Ish Sodhi was the best kiwi bowler this series and took his 10w @ 25.20avg having played a game less than all the other bowlers who took 5+ wickets. Sodhi has played nine ODIs since the start of 2017 and his last ODI prior to this series - that he shouldn't have even been playing in as he was only injury cover for Todd Astle - was May 21, 2017.

Maybe, just maybe, Sodhi would have been more effective in a series decider had he been graced with consistent selection and been able to play in such situations previously leading into the marquee series of the summer. Sodhi has now taken 1+ wicket in each of his last 13 games, that means that in the nine games before this series, Sodhi took 1+ wicket in all of them. But Sodhi couldn't stack up ODI appearances, stack up bowling repetition in ODI scenarios against West Indies and Pakistan ahead of this series.

Somehow, Tim Southee is out here taking 2w @ 128.50avg.

A) How has Southee steadily declined over time to this point, this borderline horrible point in his career?

B) Who has been groomed to put pressure on Southee and possibly take over from Southee?
In Aotearoa, we have bowlers who would do better than Southee's 2w @ 128.50avg or de Grandhomme's 1w @ 111avg. Most of those bowlers have however been in and out of the team, kicked to the curb after a mediocre performance, their confidence shattered or just simply confused about where they sit.

Just ask Todd Astle.

Guess what happened when Colin Munro came up against a good bowling attack, with good plans? He scored 56 runs in 5inns and the master-blaster had an overall strike-rate of 76.71.

Like de Grandhomme; where is the development in Munro's game?

Unlike de Grandhomme; maybe Brendon McCullum can't be replicated because he's ... well he's B-Mac.

Mitchell Santner hasn't got better as a batsman, he's just had more time to showcase his genuine batting talent because wickets have tumbled. Yet Santner is still shoved down the order where he would otherwise be asked to slog; de Grandhomme slogs but can't craft his way through the middle stages, Santner's got all the craft but can't slog as good.

Obviously I could keep you here longer with more baffling selections, miss-management and what not but you've got shit to do. I'll wrap it up by highlighting this weird relationship between Aotearoa and England's cricket teams, from the B-Mac no fear days which his homie Eoin Morgan has emulated along with a great ODI coach in Trevor Bayliss.

I've used this example many times as this Blackcaps team stinks of fear. From this ODI series though, we have also seen how England have flourished in building a team that can execute their roles and how a concise ODI squad has been built. This naturally, highlights how the Blackcaps how gone backwards and as I ponder a World Cup lurking on the horizons, I look at England's ODI program with admiration.

Aotearoa won two games thanks to Williamson, Taylor, Sodhi and Boult wizardry. They lost the series thanks to months of shenanigans, antics from you know who.

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Peace and love 27.