Diggity Doc:

Here we are, two episodes deep into this new season and we already have fresh storylines to sink our teeth into. There's something to be said about the way these new characters or the old characters and their new adventures are weaved into the plot, it all happens so seamlessly and as I said last week, you're given a taste. Nothing more than a taste each time, but that taste is enough for you to learn something new before you're taken away to a different character who is probably in a equally as shitty position.

I lie, Jon Snow isn't in a shitty position. He's now the boss dog of the Night's Watch and hi 5's to him because he thoroughly deserves it. We were once again left to ponder two choices with Jonny boy, like his homie from beyond the wall Mance. Sure, it would have been nice to see Jonny go home to Winterfell and lead his people but he takes his oath seriously. Which is interesting, in a world where people are politricking left, right and centre, Snow simply won't walk away from the Night's Watch.

It was borderline heartbreaking to see Ayra twiddle her thumbs outside the House Of Black And White. All she wants to do is fuck shit up, but there she was, contemplating life on the steps of said House with only her girly but lethal sword and a coin. It would have been far too easy though for her to walk into this strange building after we saw her slide into to Braavos in some amazing film work, it was pretty damn beautiful. Then it got depressing, but then she was allowed in which was nice. This is by far the most intriguing journey of all the characters for me because we just simply don't know how her transition into being a Faceless joker is going to pan out.

Praise Jah, God, Buddha and Allah that Jamie Lannister is out of King's Landing. While the power vacuum at King's Landing will draw people in, the best thing anyone can do is gap that scene asap.

But, his mission to save Myrcella who had her necklace thingy sent to King's Landing probably won't end as nicely as he and 'super-knight-for-hire-get-off-me-bitch-I-have-people-to-kill' Bronn think it will be. You can read deeply into the main scene from Dorne where Doran, the boss dog of Dorne and the Red Viper's brother and Ellaria Sand who birthed a few of Oberyn's children. Dorne, sitting in his wheelchair argued with Ellaria about the treatment of Myrcella, a typical battle of peace/mercy and ruthlessness. Note that Ellaria, despite having to back down as Doran laid the law down, is the more powerful character. You could sense it thanks to all the film tricks you learned in media studies.

There were obvious parallels between that scene and what went down in Meereen as Daenerys tried to do what was right. Right and wrong, peace, mercy, justice and so on, either way you're fucked, let's be honest. Dany is walking a tight rope laid above a pit of hissing of former slaves as she tries to please everyone, while trying to maintain order at the same time.

Sure, we got to see Drogon and all of you who watch GoT for killing and dragons got to see a dragon, yey! Dany is currently up shit's creek. It's not hard to imagine the situation where she alienates both the former slaves and the former masters, like politicians seem to do on daily basis. She needs these people, but she also needs everyone to get along ... pass the joint.

My favourite scene was with Brienne and Pod as they hit up Sansa and Littlefinger in the local pub. A chance meeting after so many near misses, Brienne did the admirable thing and approached Sansa, bowing and expressing her desires to finish what she said she would do and protect Sansa. Good on her, but it was impossible to see this going as planned really.

We all know that Lord Baelish is a scumbag, we all know that Sansa should ride off with Brienne and even give wee Pod some loving. But Sansa is at the mercy of Baelish, which for her is the safest option and when some beast of a random lady approaches you in a pub, you're probably not going to trust her.

I honestly hope Brienne isn't one of these characters we get to know well who is then killed off swiftly. She's got something to offer in this world of trouble, I don't quite know what it is, despite her ability to make Knights look like Pod.

Wildcard:

Once again, Game of Thrones, once again. I know what you’re thinking, but I can’t help it, this is how I feel. Dammit, do we really need two minutes of opening credits!? Sort it out, people.

Luckily once they finally, agonisingly finish, there’s usually something pretty awesome that follows, and this week it was Arya and the Titan of Braavos. Cast your eyes above and behold his titanic majesty!

Obviously that initial cold shoulder at the black and white door was a teaser and a tester, though that same old faceless guy showing up was pretty cool. Love that guy. Arya’s the biggest badass in all Westeros and she’s only getting tougher. She’s one of the few people around who is happy to embrace the struggle of Now. Everyone else is plotting for their cloudless future, while Arya is fast becoming the Zen Master of GoT. Until she gets wound up at least, then she snaps. She’s Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson all at once, except as a 13 year old girl.

Wonder what’s behind that door.

I have questions about her sister though. She’s dyed her hair according to Poddy, which explains that much, but she also seems a little too content. Is she waiting for her chance to do away with Littlefinger the way he has with so many others? Or is she happy to just go along with it. Like, it’s not ideal, but it beats being married to Joffrey the Whore Slayer. If she actually loved the fella then she’d be in an ideal situation, Baelish ain’t that bad if you’re on his side. I doubt she really fancies him, but everyone else in the damn land is getting married for safety and consolidation of wealth so why not? Once she’s old enough for me to feel comfortable with suggesting this then she can always go get it on the side. Dany knows what I’m talking ‘bout.

Argh, but Littlefinger giving her a taste of ale? He really isn’t holding back on the Creepy Uncle clichés.

Here’s a relevant question, as proposed by Lady Brienne: Is Sansa safe with Littlefinger? He seems to dote on her, we know he adored her mother. I vote yes. I think she is safe. She’s his single rose blooming in an atomic wasteland, the innocent to be tucked away from the harsh realities of the world.

I’ll be honest, Dany’s story is pretty boring and will be so until Varys & Tyrion get there. She wants to do something hasty, someone gives her good advice, she acts accordingly with queenly grace and then it backfires. Lather, rinse, repeat. Someone throws a friggin’ spanner into those works already!

Fat Sam’s on spanner duty up north. It’s kind of a shock that nobody else nominated Jon before he hesitatingly got to it. Beats that other grumpy old bugger. Snowbags is pretty much the only stately man on that wall and everyone knows it. About time he got a little credit for it, poor dude’s had to suffer for far more than his few crimes were worth. He’s got Stannis on his side too, good move by Stannis.

Last week the show makers gave us a trip on the Pity Train with Cersei, this week they reminded us why we hate her again. Putting the incest thing to the side (might take a bulldozer to move it) and Jaime+Cersei might be the love story for the ages within this show. AND SHE KEEPS PUSHING HIM AWAY! Silly woman, she’s her own worst enemy. And if you wanna know why the monarchy isn’t working in King’s Landing, look at all the disturbing old men fumbling for the favours of a small boy. He literally doesn’t care. Your city is broken and he only person with the guts to speak up doesn’t want anything to do with Cersei’s power games. Keep an eye on Qyburn (book brag) he’s a freaky dude, in a Dr Frankenstein kinda way.

Final thought: With our first glimpse of Dorne and Sand Snakery, will Keisha be using a fake Spanish accent? And does this mean she’s crossed over into Cliff Curtis, Actor of Indiscriminate Race, territory?

GoT Leaderboard, Week 2

Jon Snow – He swore a vow, dammit! I vote Jon Snow, and so does Maester Peter Vaughan. (Last week = 1)
Fat Sam – It looked scratchy for a while there, with Gilly getting in a couple Old Married Couple Jabs, but then Samwell used the ol’ noggin to swing the power balance within The Night’s Watch. Plus he’s got a future as a stand-up comedian the way he shut down that old fella. Can’t wait ‘til the Celebrity Roast of Jon Snow, that’ll be a riot. (7)
Arya Stark – aka ‘no-one’, for that is what a girl must become. Welcome back, Arya. You were much missed last week. (NR)
Peter ‘Littlefinger’ Baelish – He’s looking smug, which is never a good sign for those around him. “I married her Aunt Lysa shortly before my beloved’s untimely death”. You know that episode of Blackadder where the Returning Officer “accidentally brutally stabbed himself in the stomach while shaving”? Yep. That. (NR)
Daario Naharis – Speaking of smug, sleeping with a queen will do that for ya too it seems. Plus it helps to have a talent for stabbing people hidden in the drywall. (NR)
Tyrion Lannister – Varys: “Are we really going to spend the entire road to Volantis talking about the futility of everything?” Tyrion: “You’re right. No point”. (8)
Stannis Baratheon – You know, he used to be a cold-hearted bore, getting in the way of the more pressing plot points like a truck on the motorway. But he’s fast becoming the most level-headed leader of the lot of them. Shame about the weird fire lady ruining his cred. (4)
Jaime Lannister – Stealth mission to Dorne? Yeah why not. If only to get the hell out of Cersei’s way for a while. Can’t blame a brother. (NR)
Podrick – Look, it’s not his fault that horse went wild. And it was him who spotted Sansa and Uncle Bully in the first place. Credit where it’s due, if Brienne had listened to him then they wouldn’t presumably be outlaws right now. (NR)
Daenerys Targaryen – Whoops. Oh, but hey, she almost found her missing dragon. (6)