Diggity Doc

I'm still slightly confused as to whether we should keep our enemies close or not. Jon Snow, Lord Commander Of The Night's Watch, didn't quite get that far but the idea was clear that you should try get your enemies as far away as possible and if they don't agree, you can always chop their heads off.

It's not that easy for Margaery Tyrell though, she has to be much more diplomatic when it comes to her mother-in-law Cersei. Cersei was a the forefront of a few very intriguing scenes. The first, I mean the first few involved her and her wifed up son who was rather eager to see his mother sent anywhere away from King's Landing. Take that as one of the early examples of Margaery wielding her dominatrix power over her eager-beaver-four-time-pimp of a lover.

Then you have the scene between Cersei and Margaery, one where two rather plotting individuals tried oh so hard to be nice. Nice guys/girls finish last and their positivity was about as honest as that ex who broke up with you because 'it's just not the right time'.

I was weary of this power struggle in King's Landing and the lovely interactions between Cersei and Margaery again led us down that path, until some strange blokes went on a killing spree at the local brothel. All in the name of religion/god, that sounds about right doesn't it? That brought the scene with Cersei and the High Sparrow himself, where Cersei seemed to take a liking to Mr Sparrow. That's scary; there's nothing like religion to keep a city in line.

That's far too much King's Landing for my liking...

Sansa Stark is looking more and more like a Real Queen, if there's much difference between a 'Real Queen' and an evil bitch. Sansa's got this aura though, even if she can't really make any power moves, she does resemble a Queens. Hey, Wildcard, you wanna chuck some dosh on how long her marriage to crazy Bolton kid lasts? And not because of their differences, but Stannis will hopefully come and save the day.

Shout out to Jon Snow's assistant kid on the promotion, well earned. Oh and Pod, shout out to him which comes with a triple shout out because you've got to give it up to Brienne for giving Pod the opportunity. Is anyone else warming to Brienne? I like her and in this episode we saw many ladies juggling the struggle for power, while Brienne is waltzing/stomping around the country side in some sort of bliss.

As he was told, Jonny boy's got to think bigger. While he may not want to get involved in the politrickster's activities, with him as Lord Commander he could become a Lord Commander and ruler of the North, which would be the best wouldn't it? Especially if Sansa can somehow stick around.

Ayra is knee deep in some scary shit. I'm more trying to un-weave the chess game going down on mainland Westeros, but Ayra continues to show that she's a ruthless lil' shorty. I'm still trying to figure out that tomb/house thing, but the film work done in and around it is enough to marvel at. Then you've got Ayra washing a body before they..........................

Tyrion you silly fuck.

Wildcard

Tommen, damn son! How old is that kid anyway? You’d best believe there are countless 14 year old boys illicitly watching this tonight who’ll fall asleep dreaming of his life. Although it’s kinda odd they even filmed that wedding night scene, even if it did drive a proper wedge into the Kings Landing Power Struggle. Poor Cersei’s got no chance now that Margaery’s unleashed her most powerful weapon on lil Tommy. Even though nothing was shown in that scene - it started with the standard TV ‘rollover’ trope - that’s still a young teenage kid filming that scene, which sparks debates on the child actor side of things and also the horny young kid near a semi-naked attractive lady side of things. Must have been a hard one to film…

We saw a different side of Cersei this week too. One hint of grandmotherdom and she’s ready to find God(s). It’s a mid-life power-crisis or something. You really wish sometimes that either Cersei or Margaery would straight up say what they actually mean when they speak, it’s all so passive-aggressive. Everyone talks like that on GoT but it’s usually all dark and menacing, with these two it’s just personal. Book Brag: It seems that TV Margaery is way more conniving than Book Margaery, is anyone else feeling that too?

It turns out Brienne and Tyrion have plenty in common. Both physically very different to the expectations of their birth, both traumatised by childhood pranks and both stuck with poor Podrick as a squire. Podrick who’s getting himself hands on lessons now from one of the best hand-to-hand fighters going around after serving one of the best brains. And yet unlike pretty much every other character on the show, he doesn’t appear to have any ulterior motives. I don’t believe it.

Sansa was seemingly in a pickle as soon as they cut to her an Littlefinger on the horses, but by the looks of it she’s gonna have plenty of willing allies should the mutiny of the north eventuate. And I bet Littlefinger knew it from the start, the sly dog. As Baelish hinted, the Boltons were one of the three conspirators of the Red Wedding (along with the Lannisters and Freys) so… yeah. Probably trying to get a little mongrel out of Sansa, get her to stab that muppet in his sleep or something. Dammit though, I could do with less Theon/Reek. He definitely seemed to have some acid flashbacks to sanity starting from when he saw the flayed corpses (remember when he faked the same treatment for Bran & Rickon?) and getting worse when Sansa popped by. His torture narrative is still the dumbest thing the show ever dragged out, maybe he can put things right.

And then we have Tyrion, back to his drunken whoring ways, except he just doesn’t seem to have the spirit for it anymore. Considering his not-so-natural handicap and his present locale, it’s a bit surprising that Varys wasn’t keeping a better eye on Mr Tyrion, but perhaps he had himself a quick word with Jorah before the kidnapping. Going out on a limb here, the queen he’s taking him too probably won’t be Cersei, I’m picking it’s an attempt to win back the favours of Daenerys (who was pleasantly absent this episode, given her endlessly repetitive storylines – give her a week off to recoup). I wouldn’t be at all shocked if he’s in cahoots with Varys either, they both wanna get in Dany’s good books and shutting Tyrion up for a while will help both causes.

GoT Leaderboard

Lord Commander Jon Snow – Handing out retribution like his father before him. (Last Week = 1)
Queen Margaery – She’s got the popular vote, that’s for sure. (NR)
Stannis Baratheon – Is Stannis piggybacking on Jon or the other way round? (7)
King Tommen – Part lion, part stag, all loverboy. (NR)
Tyrion Lannister – “Come on, let’s find a brothel,” said the imp to the eunuch. (6)
Peter ‘Littlefinger’ Baelish – Putting some more cards on the table, you know how this usually works out. So long as his business can survive the PR disaster that was the High Septon’s scandal. (NR)
Arya Stark/Nobody – Yeah, you keep that sword handy, girl. You never know. (3)
Podrick – The lad’s hustling us all, there’s no doubt about it. (9)
Lord Sparrow - “I tell them no-one’s special, and they think I’m special for telling them so” (NR)
Creepy Qyburn – What’s he building in there? (NR)