To paraphrase a new addition to the Thrones cast and another prestigious HBO affiliate… I know it’s only tits and dragons but I like it.

GAME OF THRONES IS BACK!

Ah man, this is the only show on TV that is a full-on event every week. Like, drop what you’re doing there’s a new episode up and for the sake of the old gods and new, stay the hell off social media until you’ve seen it. If King Joffrey had lived in 2016 then he’d be dropping spoilers without warnings.

The biggest problem each new series is trying to remember all the stuff that happened last one. Pretty sure Jon got stabbed, that much I do recall. Did Daenerys ever find here dragons? Luckily we’ve got more than a few trailers and clips to pore over for subtle hints and not-so subtle misdirections.

Yes, it’s all coming back to me now. Sparrows in King’s Landing. Daenerys and the Khalasar. Tyrion and Varys’ excellent adventure. Arya’s blindness. Sansa and Theon/Reek’s escape. Ramsay Bolton the goddamn asshole. The (supposed) death of Stannis after his big fall from grace. Jorah’s health scare. Frankenstein’s monster. Sam and Gilly. The Night’s King.

Plus this season we see the welcome returns of Bran! And Theon’s sister! And… nah still no Lady Stoneheart.

The Jon Snow Dilemma

Look, we don’t know what’s up with the young wolf. After being filleted by his own charges he ended the season bleeding out in the snow and taking that at face value you’d assume that’s a tough one to recover from. But then what about his destiny!? What about being the last hope for humanity!? What about R+L=J!? What about his one-vs-one with the Night’s King!? What about us bloody viewers who are sick of having to find a new favourite character every few weeks coz the bastards all keep dying (no pun intended).

The clues out there are slim. The books end at the same point that the show did. No confirmation or reaction, just him slowly bleeding to death (I might be wrong, I’m 200 pages into the last book and it’s been a slog). According to the showrunners he’s dead. According to the actor he’s dead. But Kit Harrington never cut his Snow Hair and was conveniently on set for filming and that got people talking… people like Harrington who claimed he was just there to film a few dead body shots – as Charles Dance did with Tywin Lannister in season five.

Kit: "I filmed some scenes of me being dead. It’s some of my best work."

But this is Game of Thrones and what is dead may never die (or whatever it is). Point being he probably is dead… but will he stay dead? Here are the options:

JON SNOW IS DEAD AND HE AIN’T COMING BACK

The tragic option. All that work he did in trying to save us all and now it’s put to waste because a few dumb buggers couldn’t handle the idea of making peace with the wildlings. Mutiny on The Wall.

JON SNOW IS NOT DEAD AND HE IS STILL ALIVE

There was a glimmer in his eyes all the same as he lay in the snow. Perhaps some magical medicine can still save him, maybe Sam will turn back up at the right moment and give him mouth to mouth while wrapping the many gaping wounds. All the good work can continue unimpeded as soon as he’s had a little rest.

JON SNOW IS NOT DEAD BUT HE WILL BE

They might keep him around just long enough to say his goosebump last words. “E tu, Ollie? It’s okay, I forgive you. Take my sword, son, and fight. Fight for us all. You have the power within you. And now… my watch… has… ended…”

JON SNOW IS DEAD BUT HE’LL BE BACK

The most popular choice, it’s just a matter of how it happens. The three most likely options would be that he comes back as a White Walker, Melisandre revives him with king’s blood or he wargs into his direwolf. Take your pick, certain options are better than others. We also don’t know what those children of the forest that Bran’s chilling with are capable of. Nor do we know what the deal is with Coldhands, who didn’t appear in the series – no spoilers just in case but he was like a non-evil, sentient ice zombie. See, it can be done.

The Stark Roll Call

Ned Stark – Beheaded at King’s Landing way back when. Still dead.

Catelyn Stark – Murdered at the Red Wedding. No Lady Stoneheart. Dead.

Robb Stark – Murdered at the Red Wedding. Very dead.

Jon Snow – Lying bleeding in the snow. Probably dead.

Sansa Stark – Escaped the Boltons with Theon. Not dead.

Arya Stark – Blind and in a death cult. Believed dead.

Bran Stark – Living under a tree learning magic powers. Believed dead.

Rickon Stark – Hiding out someplace unknown. Believed dead.

WE WROTE ABOUT THE FIRST FULL TRAILER BACK IN MAY, CLICK HERE FOR THAT

Is it just me or as the stuff at The Wall ramps up, is everything else seeming way less important? Clearly the first time we get to hang with Tyrion again will be magnificent but all the pregnant tension of the series is starting to burst in a snowstorm of ice and zombies while the petty human troubles become more and more irrelevant.

Having said that, there’s all sorts of power that needs shifting. The situation in Westeros was very dependent on how Stannis went. His army was the x-factor in all this, as the Lannisters consolidate their power, as the Ramsey/Frey alliance try to claim the north, it was Stannis’ army that could have changed things. Except that they were too carried away with their own crap – although shout out for saving The Wall/Humanity that one time. We never actually saw the sword fall on Stannis, wielded by Brienne, which usually follows the reverse Chekhov’s Gun rule. Chekhov’s Gun is a storytelling law that says that if you see a gun in one scene it is because that gun is to be fired in another one. You don’t throw things like that in there lightly. With Stannis, the fact that we didn’t see him killed suggests that some last-second word of wisdom saved him… funny because book readers know a certain similar thing happened to Brienne herself. Either way, his army is ravaged and by the trailers Melisandre seems kinda doubtful.

Will Davos finally go head to head with Melisandre now that Stannis isn’t there between them? Or do they come together over their mutual intentions to fight the (icy) power?

That chick gave birth to a smoke monster so say what you will about her tactics and sacrificial processes but there’s something real there. Where she pledges her next allegiance could be crucial. In sports terms, her current team just choked away their chances at a championship right as her free agency came up and you can be damn sure that she’ll have a few contract offers coming her way now.

Tyrion’s transfer to Daenerys’ team came after a personal fall out in his old Lannister squad. Character indifferences and all that, something about patricide. His was a crazy cheap trade and while he doesn’t appear to have the physical gifts to change the course of this game, his leadership and knowledge make him an undercover A+ roster move. Other free agents right now include Sansa Stark (who is at $7 odds to return to Littlefinger’s side – though will most likely look to revive the Stark brigade), Arya Stark (whose blindness will probably see her re-sign with the Death Cult), Brienne of Tarth (probably killed Stannis and is rumoured to be keen on a team-up with Sansa) and Fat Sam Tarly (on the road to maestership but currently tempted by love). The Children of the Forest have been highly commended on their undercover signing of Bran Stark, while the rumoured Queen Margaery to the Sparrows trade has caught many pundits off guard. The Sparrows are a rising force but their very traditional style of play isn’t a favourite with the fans.

If there’s one character I’m most looking forward to it is Bran. Return of the Bran, cannot wait. Max Von Sydow is gonna voice the wise guy under the tree (Three-Eyed Raven) which also has me psycho with anticipation. One of the all-time great actors, he is. Thing is, Bran got really boring for a while, largely because in a show that moves frantically through plot, he couldn’t move. Literally and metaphorically he was crippled. Now he’s finally getting some power and soon enough he could find himself as one of the most influential characters in the entire programme. His talents have been hinted at for a while but not as long as Daenerys’ and yet it’s Bran that’s gonna get actualised first at this rate. Fine by me, so long as someone gets to do something awesome. Winter is still coming, more and more is being unveiled there and you have to assume we’re beyond halfway in this series. Sooner or later we’re gonna start working towards that endgame, rather than teasing us with one step forward, two steps back (thanks to another bloody death).

Ian McShane is joining the cast for this season. Al Swearengen for the win.

Word is that episode one is called ‘The Red Woman’. We know who that is, but these titles also often have double meanings (like ‘Mother’s Mercy’, ep #10 of last season). Cersei looks pretty pissed in the previews, what with another dead child and all that. Episode two is apparently called ‘Homeward Bound’ and episode three ‘Oathbreaker’. Isn’t that the name of Brienne’s sword?

So many questions, so many theories. Only a few more days/hours left to wait now…

Hi, Do-do Doc here. Like you, I've just read the Wildcard's rather splendid preview and I was to do something similar myself I guess. No point, el Wildcardo did a rather splendid job so I don't really have much to add, except for expanding on Tyrion ... and dragons.

As my comrade said, Tyrion did just happen to get traded to Daenerys' team and we see Tyrion up close and personal with one of the dragons (which has a fire-fur-ball in it's throat). It doesn't take too much effort to Google 'Tyrion Lannister Targaryen' and a few theories will pop up regarding that very matter. Here Tyrion is, traded to Daenerys' team, with dragons, yeah.