Scribblings of a Fair Weather Friend - A few quiets at Eden Park?

What’s that? You’re busy on Saturday night? Oh, you promised, did you?

Well listen to me pal. You aren’t going anywhere with that below-average looking gal of yours, because you’ve got new plans. The Wellington Fucken Phoenix are in town and they’re here to par-tay. Saturday night at Eden Park will have the stadium lights glowin’ and the overpriced drinks a-flowin’. And guess what – YOU sir, have the chance to be there. Slam some post-match jager bombs with Paul Ifill, or a half-time Double Brown wizard stick with Benny Siggy.

Doesn't that just sound like a dream night out? Yes, yes it does. So ditch that hoe, txt the boys, smash back some beer and watch some absolute world class footy.

Now you might be asking yourself “Why should I listen to this guy? What does he know about livin in the struggle? We can’t all afford them high class gold plated Eden Park tickets!” Well mate, you’re in luck. For a mere $30, you’ll be grinding the upright with Manny Muscat during the defensive corners. You’ll be counting the stacks of cash you’ve saved with the official WPHNX crew – the YELLLOOOOW FEEEEEVEERRRRRR!!!!  But don’t hold onto that cash too tightly. No, because after 80 minutes, you’ll wanna to make it raaaaaiiiiin over all those hotties whippin' their tight shirts off! Yeeeeyaaaah!!I 100% guarantee that by heading along to the Nix vs Adelaide, you’re gonna get a promotion, take home a super model & win the lotto.

Yeah so a lot of that is a lie, but not the message I’m trying to send.

Mmmm yeah... Hotties...

If you live in Auckland, this is a great chance to see some in-form, above-standard-NZ-quality football. No, it won’t be Premier League quality, and perhaps that’s the reason so many people diss the Nix & the A-League – but it’s common knowledge that being at the game & getting involved with a bit of hoo-ha is waaaaay better. “Aw yeah but I’d just rather have a quiet beer at home on the couch and watch it”. Oh yeah? Harden up, pussy.

Most of you won’t have seen live Wellington Phoenix before, because only hardcore ninjas will fly to Wellington. This weekend, it’s in your backyard. Well, a traffic congested and crowded version of your back yard, but it’s the closest you’ll get for at least another year. The Yellow Fever will be inflated with fan-boy Aucklanders this week, but will 100% bump up the atmosphere during the 90 minutes. And you might even see some lovely ladies taking their shirts off after the 80 minute mark, providing my inevitable TAB bet pays off.

Tickets ARE only $30, which is a steal compared to watching the Black Caps or most other gigs going down on a Saturday night in the shitty of shails.

The main reason I urge you to go is because these guys deserve it. They’re on a great run after a tough start, and they’re starting to become properly entertaining. The worst case scenario would be if the Nix did play shyte and got thumped – but your insurance is that you can always ask (yell) at Jeremy Brocoli how long he’s got to go before he’s fully boiled.

The game itself is actually pretty crucial for both teams – a classic 6 pointer. Wellington need the big W here to stay in close proximity of the top 6, Adelaide will move to 4th if they prevail. These 2 teams happen to be playing pretty attractive football at the moment, so I can’t stress how cool this game has the potential to be. Kenny K is back, Big Carlos is back, plus no injuries or suspensions from last week’s side that dominated the first half against Brisbane.

Go on, it’ll be worth the effort. Also, feel free to start off at the Kingslander in Mt Eden for some pre-game ‘warm-up’ – I hear they serve cold beer there? COME ON PHOENIX!

Get your tickets here:

http://www.ticketmaster.co.nz/wellington-phoenix-fc-v-adelaide-united-auckland-new-zealand-01-02-2014/event/24004B6785D00B8A

The False 9 with Senor Spectre

Image: The Sun+

So I was going to entertain the fanatics about the top transfer that every team in the EPL needs. A striker like Diego Costa for Arsenal or a defensive midfielder such as Xabi Alonso for Manchester United. But then I got to Manchester City and I was actually stumped on what this dynamic all round team actually need! I can hear you screaming get off the nut from here, but I have been questioning them all season and they have kept proving me wrong. I started on the front and thought another striker to give them a new dimension maybe? Then I remember this is the team that has scored over 100, yes 100 goals this season and their main talisman, Sergio Aguero, has been out for the last month. The likes of Alvaro Negredo and Edin Dzeko have taken over the reins and have been a big part of the reason why City have run over teams at home and now, after dispatching Spurs 5-1, away from home too. So I thought the midfield could do with some sprucing up, like United’s or Newcastle. Oh wait. David Silva, arguably one of the craftiest players in the league. Yaya Toure, hands down best box to box midfielder in the league combining both the guile of a fox and the strength of a horse. Then there’s Samir Nasri and Jesus Navas who both thrive on pace, flair and their ability to beat players one on one and in tight situations. Oh did I mention James Milner, Fernandinho, Jack Rodwell and Javi Garcia???

 I’m starting to think they probably don’t need any midfield reinforcements. To the back we go. Pablo Zabaleta is the most consistent right back in the league. No debate there. He oozes professionalism and never seems to put in a bad performance. Considering Micah Richards, the young English prodigy, has been injured all season, he has done remarkably well. Gael Clichy on the other side (another ex-Arsenal player) is getting on in years but still provides opposition managers with nervous moments as he marauds down the flanks, even though he does struggle to get back at times. Don’t worry though, Aleksandar ‘the king’ Kolarov from Serbia is an able back up with a rocket of a left foot if I’ve ever seen one. In the middle of defence you can’t go past captain fantastic Vincent Kompany. Throwing his body into shots and winning 99% of headers is all in a day’s work for the Belgium rep, who has provided defensive steel and passion that his side has lacked in years gone by. He leads from the back superbly and is the most vocal player on the park, barking orders and letting team mates know when something isn’t up to scratch. Now his partner in the middle is the only small weak link I can see. Martin Demichelis has filled in admirably, but if I was a City fan, I would get nervous anytime he gets near the ball. They do have Natija Nastasic and Joleon ‘The Forehead’ Lescott but they have not been played as regularly. Joe Hart is the last piece of this quite amazing puzzle (nearly Wasgij amazing). After a blip mid season where he was dropped from the first team, he has come back superbly becoming one of the top keepers in the league once again. Who was calling for him to be loaned out a month ago?!

Some people wonder why so called ‘pundits’ have already given the title to City, but if you look at this squad you can understand why. Most, if not all of these players, would make the starting line up of any other team in the league. God half their subs would easily get a gig as well. I hear the critics yelling ‘a team of individuals, will never beat an individual team’ but Manuel Pellegrini has nurtured this team into playing for each other and not just themselves. I would be downright surprised if they don’t win the league and for all to see, it is theirs to lose. Complacency or boredom, depending on how you look at it, is maybe the only reason this team drops any more points this season. I hope they do choke, because it would make me very happy, however if you can’t stop them from scoring, then good luck beating them. The ebb and flow is truly great to watch, and you’d have to be one sour football fan, or a United lover not to agree.

Newcastle vs Sunderland

Newcastle are looking to bounce back with a win after a tough week (Getty Images)

The Tyne-Wear derby. Two cities separated by 10 miles and boy do they hate each other. The Toon vs the Black Cats. Generally these matches are cagey affairs with players feeling the pressure of a tight rivalry that has been simmering between households and friends for over a century. The stats for overall results are delicately poised with Newcastle winning 53 times and Sunderland 45, with another 45 draws in between. Nothing beats a derby. We saw the Liverpool v Everton in a Merseyside derby blowout which was a bit of a bummer for us neutrals who wanted to see a high scoring draw with a bit of passion and guts. Aston Villa and West Brom played in the West Midlands derby and played out a stunning 4-3 contest that started at a rapid pace, having 6 goals by halftime! So what can Newcastle and Sunderland produce!? The Toon has lost Johan Cabaye to PSG this week and he has been their midfield general. Knowing the manager (not personally unfortunately) Alan Pardew, he would have seen this coming for months and should have contingency plans in place.

They have a strong enough midfield to deny the likes of Adam Johnson and Jack Colback time and space, but do they have the creative maestro to fill the gap Cabaye left? Without him there they may struggle to unlock a Sunderland team on the rise after a sound 1-0 win over Stoke midweek. Loic Remy has been their go to man up front, but has looked fatigued in recent games having carried the team all season. The likes of the Ameobi brothers should be itching to get on the park and prove their worth in a game of huge magnitude. Sunderland rolls down the highway with 7 points from a possible 9 in the last 3 weeks and are slowly but surely pushing themselves out of relegation. In these big games, I’m a firm believer that recent form, whether shit hot or appalling, will count for nothing. Sure you might feel more confident, but once you are in that cauldron it is a whole different story. St James’ Park used to be feared by everyone and especially you’re cross town rivals. Newcastle needs to get that feeling back into the support if they want to take away 3 crucial points after a tough week.
Prediction
Surely Newcastle will win it being at home and playing a team over 7 places below them? You’d think so. I reckon they’ll go out there and try prove to the critics that losing Cabaye isn’t the end of the world and that they are still a European contender. Sunderland have had a glorious 3 weeks including the Mickey mouse cup semi over United, but a derby victory would feel like icing on the cake. Unfortunately I don’t see it happening. Newcastle 2-1.

Manchester City vs Chelsea

What do you do if you have heaps of money and don’t know what to do with it? Buy a new car, grab yourself a yacht, maybe take a trip overseas and treat the whanau. Not these guys. They buy football clubs. Meet Roman Abramovich and Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan. Jesus thats a mouthful, get Siri to say that one! Both owners pour millions of dollars into these clubs, hoping for the satisfaction of owning a team that can win trophies and give bragging rights to those involved. With so much to spend (sanctioned by the owner), you cannot help but be impressed by the make-up of these squads. Chelsea’s measly defence against the pure attacking talent of the Man City midfielders and front men. Let the fun begin. Considering Chelsea blasted a ridiculous 39 shots at West Ham midweek and they still couldn’t buy a goal, it makes me wonder if that could be their downfall in this matchup. Scoring goals is obviously crucial. They are not going to get many opportunities against City and considering City score an average nearing 3 goals a game, they may need a few to stay in this match. If the midfield of Oscar and Edin Hazard can create opportunities and get on the end of some attacking plays as well, then they could score a goal early on and then park the bus. Mr Mourinho hates when others do it, but doesn’t mind when his own team does it to sound affect. A la Barcelona CL Semi final in 2012. The old guard of John Terry and Gary Cahill will have their work cut out for them even though Sergio Aguero is most likely going to be out with a hamstring complaint. Looking at the options I’ve stated above, City still has plenty of strike power. A bloody scary amount of strike power. If they can keep Chelsea to a goal, I can see them running away in this fixture based on attacking potential alone. If I was Chelsea I would be hoping Mourinho has planned a tactical masterpiece to outclass the new league frontrunners, or this could turn ugly like many other matches that have been played at the Eithad. A slippery surface will help the Blues, and even a bit of rain/sleet/snow, so start praying you Chelsea fans!
Prediction
With City finally moving to the top of the table, will they ever be usurped?? These games can be won on the smallest error or more often than not on a piece of individual brilliance. If we’re going on that, then how can you go past City? City 3-1.

The Rest:

West Ham vs Swansea - Draw

Cardiff City vs Norwich - Cardiff

Everton vs Aston Villa - Everton

Fulham vs Southampton - Draw

Hull City vs Tottenham - Tottenham

Stoke City vs Manchester United - Draw

West Brom vs Liverpool - Liverpool

Arsenal vs Crystal Palace - Arsenal

The False 9 with Senor Spectre

The False 9

This week Christiano Ronaldo was announced player of the year at the Ballon d’or and boy did he deserve it. This guy seriously carries his team on his back whether it’s for country or club. The World cup playoff match against Sweden could have been an absolute disaster for Ronaldo. Imagine no Ronaldo at arguably sporting biggest event? That would have been one of the biggest body blows to the event and even more so to his legacy that he will one day leave behind in the beautiful game. Instead he did what he has done for years. Single handily he destroyed the Swedes scoring all 4 goals across the tie and without doubt, out-duelled Zlatan Ibrahimovich in their much publicised ‘battle of the gods’. The pressure he was under was immense and he calmly put it all behind him and put on a super human display. This to me showed all the characteristics of a legend.

I AM THE MAN

Players have the odd game like Ronaldo throughout their career, but the definition of the very best is someone who can do it when the chips are down and everyone is watching. He does that week in and week out. Seriously the guys a freak and anyone who says he doesn’t deserve it can just look at his amazing record from throughout the year. Whether it is in the Champions League for Madrid or in the spotlight of carrying his national team on his back, this guy has some serious ticker. These days in sports we are quick to forget great feats that athletes have put on show at any one time in their career, however we are even quicker to remind athletes on a regular basis if they have ‘chocked’ or have had a couple of bad performances. Salute the man. He has just won one of the most prestigious awards in world sport. We must celebrate the successes of these individuals regardless of past misdemeanours. He will sleep peacefully knowing no one can take the the 2013 FIFA Ballon d’or award away from him.

Chelsea vs Manchester United

After beating Hull convincingly last week and no midweek fixtures to disrupt their preparation, Chelsea head in to this grudge match full of confidence.5 wins in their last 6 games has them pushing Arsenal for top of the league amid their constant fight for EPL glory. Chelsea have managed this run of winning games on the back of a much more disciplined defence shown by 4 clean sheets recently in the league. Although there have been some changes in their defensive line up, the stalwart pairing of Gray Cahill and John Terry are the experienced duo keeping the team together. They may not be the fastest defenders but they make up for it in their positioning, and at times in their aerial threats from corners. The Blues definitely throw their bodies around the most out of any team and are not surprisingly leading the lead in blocks. They will once again need to be committed to the cause, as young guns Danny Welbeck and Adnan Januzaj will be trying their best to make the old legs of the Chelsea defence do some long yards. If they can keep a clean sheet you can be sure that the likes of Eden Hazard and Oscar will have more than fair share of chances to give Chelsea the 3 points.

Ooooh Shinji Kagaaawaaaa

Manchester United finally shook off their losing run by beating Swansea at the Theatre of Dreams. This would have taken a hell of a lot of pressure off both David Moyes and the team, who have been copping it over the last month.This will be a stern test for the Red army though as they haven’t beaten the Blues since back in 2012, which was a fair while ago! In saying that it could be what United need. A game where they are not expected to win and thus all the pressure will be off the away side and put on the shoulders of the in form home team. The midfield battle will be crucial for United, so the likes of Tom Cleverly and Darren Fletcher will have to be on song in tracking the midfield runners that love to get forward for the Blues. I would love to see Shinji Kagawa stay in the number 10 role as I still believe he has a lot to offer, even though he has shown little in the way of form so far this season. His ability to pick a pass going forwards is crucial for their attack to flow and it all can’t be put on young Januzaj’s 18 year old shoulders.

The Deciding Factor

Can the young strike force of the Red army brake down the old guard of the Blue brigade? Whoever wins that battle will take out the match in my opinion.

Prediction

At Stamford Bridge I can’t see Chelsea giving up anything cheap in this match and we all know Chelsea love to get the goods over United. Chelsea 2-0.

Further Predictions

Sunderland vs Southampton –Draw
Arsenal vs Fulham – Arsenal
Crystal Palace vs Stoke City – Draw
Man City vs Cardiff City – Man City
Norwich vs Hull City – Norwich
West Ham vs Newcastle – Newcastle
Livepool vs Aston Villa – Liverpool
Swansea vs Tottenham – Draw
West Brom vs Everton – West Brom

Scribblings of a Fair Weathered Friend - 2014 Edition! Round 14

Well, crikey. The last time you heard from me I was ripping my leg hairs out. The ol’ Nix couldn’t even buy a win. They couldn’t match fix a win. Hell, they wouldn’t have even been able to take a win hostage and hold it for ransom! They had 4 points from 10 games, and let’s be honest, really only the true blues were tuning in.

But that was then. Since that painful defeat to Central Coast on December 19th, something transformed. Something within that squad of battlers screamed ‘ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!’ and then good ol’ Manny Muscat whipped out his boom box and blasted ‘We’re Not Gonna Take it’ on repeat.

Since that fateful night, the Nix have crusaded to 10 points from 4 games. 3 wins on the trot can be credited to some awesome spikes of form, a bit of luck, but 99% perseverance. Ernie Merrick has been brave enough to stick to the same positive game plan all season, and it’s finally paying off.

While it’s definitely been a team effort, a few individuals have really started to make their mark;

Steinbags Huysegems – 4 goals in 4 games. You can’t argue with that, the man’s been in the right place at the right time & looks shit tonnes more threatening than when Jeremey Brocoli is on the ball (Sorry Jerry, I know you’re out of form, but we’re just having a laugh mate). Yeah, he’s still slower than a wet week, but he’s got a great big mug & his name sounds great when the commentators yell it as he’s slotting home, so it’s all gravy baby.

Albert Reira – isn’t this guy meant to be on holiday? Aren’t his family wondering where he is? “Oh yeah hey Mum, I just got caught up with playing some professional football, I should be home after my brand spankin new contract expires.” But in all seriousness, this guy has come from playing backyard football in Spain, to being the anchor of our midfield. He wins the ball, passes well, and is rarely caught out of position. What a champ, hope you’re enjoying the holiday, mate!

Andrew Durante – Ok so he had an average start to the season, but who didn’t? He copped a lot of shit during New Zealand’s loss to Mexico, “He’s a bloody useless Aussie! He’s a witch! Burn him!” and so on. But this guy is a classy A-League player. He doesn’t need to be anything more than that. He’s like Kevin Nolan to the EPL. In the last few weeks, Durante hasn’t made a mistake, and has been throwing himself in front of every shot heading towards his goal. While he’s more of a ‘behind the scenes’ man, his leadership has been key. And how about that beard!

And last but probably most, Glen Moss. Man, this guy is insane. I shit you not, he must make at least 3 top class saves per game. Yeah, he gave away a penalty (unconverted) in the latest draw against Central Coast, but he has definitely been player of the year thus far. No one’s put a Glen Moss highlights video up on YouTube yet, but seriously… someone should. But not me, I’m a busy man.

In other news, we won’t be seeing Paul ‘Jesus Christ, the saviour, the Holy One’ Ifill again this season, he’s buggered his ankle. And that sucks, because he is the man and the crowd (and myself) love him to bits. But never fear, Ernie’s brought in Auckland City front man Roy Krishna. Now, I don’t know a heck of a lot about this guy – but I grew up playing against plenty of naturally skilled Fijians, and I’m really excited to see how he fairs in the next step up. He was given 10 minutes against Central Coast without really seeing too much ball. Merrick’s signed this bloke for a reason, and since Brockie’s waaaaaay out of form, maybe Krishna deserves a chance in the deep end. The word around town is that a chance with the Phoenix has been on the cards for a while now, so good on him.

The Nix host Melbourne on Saturday night at the Cake Tin, a team they’ve only beaten twice in 19 meetings. However, those 2 victories did come at home. With the form they’re in, I’m quietly confident, even if Melbourne are sitting in 3rd spot.

Come on lads, we’re now only 5 points off the top 6! Let’s get into it!

Wellington Phoenix Last 4 results:

ROUND 11

Phoenix 1, Sydney FC 0 @ Westpac Stadium

Stein the Brain 32’

ROUND 12

Heart 0, Phoenix 1 @ AAMI Park

Stein the Brain 74’

ROUND 13

Wanderers 1, Phoenix 3 @ Pirtek Stadium

Stein the Brain 77’, 82’

Tyler Boyd 66’

ROUND 14

Phoenix 1, Central Coast 1 @ Westpac Stadium

Kenny Cunningham 45’

The False 9 with Senor Spectre

The False 9

After indulging in far too much Christmas food and enjoying the festivities that only New Years can bring, I feel some footballing thoughts/banter need to be shared once again. Has a lot changed in the last fortnight? Man United are still taking two steps forward and one step back, Arsenal are still managing to somehow fight off the big money movers in Chelsea and Manchester City while Sunderland and Crystal Palace are still shortening as favourites to be relegated this season. In saying all that the last two weeks has bought to us a buffet of football and there has been a number of upsets and games which have given purists great delight. Liverpool’s 5-0 thumping of Tottenham straight away springs to mind with the quality of goals on show second to none. With so many games being played throughout the league and various cups, there has also been a number of high profile injuries. Manchester striking duo of Wayne Rooney and Robin van Persie have only played a hand full of games together this season, with last year’s golden boot winner, Van Persie, struggling the most, only playing 11 games in the league and the majority of those being only half fit.

Arsenal young gun Serge Gnarby

The same can be said of the Christmas toll on Arsenal, with Oliver Giroud, Aaron Ramsey and Mesut Ozil missing multiple games throughout the period. The biggest loss has however been Theo Walcott who is out for the season with a ruptured ACL. This robs the Gunners of that sheer pace that in some games is the key to unlocking teams that ‘park the bus’. Luckily for them, young gun Serge Gnabry is looking like he belongs in the first team, belaying his meagre 18 years of age. On top of this Alex Oxlade-Chamberlein is back from a long term knee injury, so all is not so bad for Arsenal. They will still however be looking to dip in to the winter transfer window to bolster their frontline, like a number of other teams. United will also once again be on the lookout for a maestro to bolster their midfield which has been overrun too many times this season. It is usually seen as a desperate time for teams to buy players, but there are the odd bargain buys that teams do come across. Prices are generally inflated given how desperate teams are, but for some, the extra cost of these players can lead to greater advantages in the future. The next few weeks can prove vital to a team’s survival in the league or for their quest of EPL glory come May. Let’s hope there are a few more stars coming across to the EPL for us to enjoy.

Manchester United vs Swansea

This match has taken on extra significance given United have lost 3 on the bounce including their FA cup 3rd round tie against Swansea, who are coincidently coming back to town. When was the last time anyone had heard of United losing 3 in a row?? It is credit to their history that we are so surprised by these results, with Sir Alex Ferguson moulding sides that challenged on all fronts and rarely went through any rebuilding phases. With David Moyes going through 6 months of hell so far, the fans have had his back, but they are starting to turn. They are not used to these results and Moyes really has to start turning things round. With Robin Van Persie still out, they are without their talisman and top goal scorer. United will be praying Wayne Rooney is fit otherwise Danny Welbeck will once again have to shoulder the attacking mantle of the side. With the busy Christmas period over, all teams are counting the costs of injuries and United have had their fair share. It is time the players stand up and play with a bit of pride. As an Arsenal fan it can be taken as condescending, however Moyes is copping more than his fair share and it would be great to see some hunger and desire in the Theatre of Dreams this weekend.

Wilfried Bony

Swansea sits 4 points outside the relegation zone even though many would not even consider them as relegation strugglers. Ever since their FA cup trophy last season the extra games in the Europa League seem to be more of a hindrance to them more than anything else. Their league form has been poor, yet they still manage to produce quality football which other teams only wish they can play. With Miguel Michu out indefinitely, they have lost their top goal scorer from the last campaign, but have found a lively replacement in Wilfried Bony. 2 goals in his last league match against Manchester City and the winner midweek against United show he is in good form against the mancunians. He is likely to have to play the 90 minutes again this weekend, but his link up play with the midfield has provided Swansea with the ability to keep the ball in the final 3rd and play long ball when needed. His ability to shoot from range has defences constantly worrying about him and have to put him under greater duress than what they would like.

The Deciding Factor

An early goal will be crucial in this game. If United don’t score early, the fans will quickly start to show their frustrations as it has been building gradually over the last fortnight. A home atmosphere that is uncomfortable for the home side will put them under added pressure and will spur on the Swansea side to put another nail in Moyes’ coffin.

Prediction

I’m sure United will come out with some sheer determination to put the doubters to rest. I can see things clicking for once. United 3-0.

Newcastle vs Manchester City

After an adequate month of December, Newcastle has gone luke warm over the last fortnight with successive losses against Arsenal, West Brom and then Cardiff City in the FA cup. They will be ruing missed opportunities as the cup competitions in particular have been targeted over the last 12 months and after taking the lead at home, should never have been knocked out by Cardiff. Their drop in form has coincided with the cold streak of their iconic goal scorer Loic Remy. After scoring 10 goals in the League so far this season, he has gone missing in the last 3 matches (although he was a sub midweek) and hasn’t got himself onto the score sheet. Obviously you can’t expect your top striker to run hot the whole season, so others around him must step up and fill the goal chart. Papiss Demba Cisse scored in the Cup but he has left the club wanting so far this season, so the backup striker should be working hard to provide a greater threat for the club in the coming weeks. Against City every opportunity will need to be capitalised on because there may only be a few. St James’ Park should be buzzing with the Leagues form team coming to town.

Papiss Cisse

Man City have now won 5 league games on the bounce and strolled through their midweek League Cup match with West Ham, winning 6-0 and making it look like child’s play. There are still rather large question marks over their away form and this will be a good test for them at St James’ Park. Having lost Sergio Aguero over a month ago, there were doubts over City’s ability to score so many goals without the Argentine, however in Alvaro Negredo they have unleashed the beast, as he is known, and he has ably substituted for Aguero, including a stunning hat trick against West Ham in the League Cup. With the likes of Jesus Navas and Fernandinho starting to find their feet in the EPL after coming from foreign leagues, this side is starting to purr. They can attack from all areas and with Vincent Kompany back, they have a defensive leader who is able to organise and lead the troops around. Newcastle will realise that any mistakes they make this week could mean the dropping of 2 or 3 points.

The Deciding Factor

Can Newcastle awaken the away demons the City lads have been facing? If they can keep it close till after half time they have the chance to cause an upset. However if Negredo gets his way, this match could be over relatively quickly as a contest.

Prediction

As much as I love the way City have been playing and smashing teams on the fly, i’m still concerned with their away form. Until I see them play consistent football away, i’m going to sit on the fence in this one. 2-2 Draw.

The False 9

The False 9

The managerial merry-go-round has another headline! After Paolo di Canio, Martin Jol and Steve Clarke, Andre Villa Boas (AVB) has now joined the infamous list of the 2013-14 season.  I guess the story on everyone’s lips is did the Spurs manager deserve to get the flick with the busiest period of the year kicking into full swing. Personally as an Arsenal fan it is great to see the other side of London struggling, but I can’t help but feel just a touch sorry for AVB. Last year Spurs tallied 72 points during the season and still missed out on a Champions League (CL) berth. Any other year, they would have made it. Imagine that. AVB did everything he could, plus more, but still couldn’t push down the invisible gate leading to the ballpark of football giants. This disappointment had a domino effect. Gareth Bale soon jumped ship as there was no CL football on the horizon for him and this led to Spurs spending over 100 million Euros on European stars from a variety of leagues. Think about it. A couple more points and a bit of luck here or there and AVB could have been settled into his tenure, been playing midweek CL football and still have the services of one of the world’s best players in Bale. How he wishes he could turn back the clock... But that’s life! He had access to funds to build the team he wanted and they just haven’t gelled. Has he lost the respect of the players? Did he ever have their respect? AVB built a side last year that were fearless and at one point were talked about as title contenders. He must have been doing something right. He built his team on being clinical and utilising the strengths of the team, mainly giving Bale the ball! However this season five new attacking talents couldn’t collate to the quality of one individual star.

In light of everything you’ve just read, does he deserve to go? They are only sitting 2 wins outside the top 4 and until their shellacking by the Reds they had won 3 games on the bounce and started looking like they were starting to find some form. Some will say this was one blip too many. I don’t think it warranted being sacked though. Losing 5-0 or 2-1, you still get the same amount of points and a loss is a loss. Sure he may have abused the fans and had a crack at the media, but most of his points were true! Have the home fans created a foul mood at White Hart Lane? Yes. Has the media been untoward in their assessment. I think so. He didn’t go the right way about publicising this, but that’s beside the point. Who are they going to bring in of better quality? No one. Good luck sitting on an interim manager for the time being, as the fixtures stack up considerably over Christmas. A bit of stability would’ve been no harm, plus it would give the side more time to change their ways without worrying about how the new manager will want to play. AVB will be keen to flee the country as soon as he can, but I hope it is more a case of ‘see you again soon’ rather than ‘go and never come back’.

Man United vs West Ham

With Robin Van Persie out for a month, the focus is on Danny Welbeck to fill the void left by the Dutch number 9. He started with aplomb last week scoring two goals and providing the side with critical link up play when needed. This was a crucial league win for David Moyes’ men and allows them to focus on what lies ahead rather than dwelling on the lows of the last month. With a struggling West Ham coming to town, the Red Devils should feel confident in registering back to back wins, especially against a side that has scored once in their last 3 games. With Winston Reid still out, look for United to string together another crucial 3 points as they look to fight their way out of the mid table maze.

Time for Danny Wellbeck to step up

Sunderland vs Norwich:

Have Sunderland turned the corner on their season with a League cup win over Chelsea?! I thoroughly hope so. After sacking one manager already this season, the side finally have something to build on and assist them in attempting to move out of the bottom 3. Their 2 scorers were loan signings, however this team is starting to show some ticker. Whether that will be enough to see them pocketing the 3 points, we shall soon see. Norwich have been up and down all year long and that’s why they find themselves sitting in the bottom half of the table. I expected Norwich to kick on from their 11th place last year, but they are struggling to find their feet. In Chris Hughton they have a fantastic manager and surely the gears will start clicking through the motions in the next month. Sunderland will be running on adrenaline after the win over Chelsea and I can definitely see them riding the wave of optimism to the 3 points this weekend.

Southampton vs Tottenham

This is just as big a match for the Saints as it is for Tottenham. With only 2 points taken from a possible 15 in their last 5 games, the honeymoon period is well and truly over for the Saints. Pochettino’s men need to start stringing together the type of football they were producing at the start of the year, which saw them playing up tempo football with a high pressing game that gave the opposition no time on the ball! Get back to defence first and attack second and I think they will be just fine. However a team coming off having their manager sacked are usually very dangerous and can be out to prove a point. With interim manager Tim Sherwood wanting to stake his claim for the coverted hot seat as well, Spurs could potentially have a fire within them. In saying that, I can’t see the Saints letting up on Spurs especially at home. Considering Spurs have a League cup game today too, it’s not looking in their favour at all.

Arsenal vs Chelsea

The biggie! Chelsea have failed to grasp the definition of consistency and once again they lead into a big game after a shock loss. Defeat to Sunderland in the League cup this week has left many supporters for the first time starting to doubt ‘The Chosen One’, Jose Mourinho. They are leaking goals too easily and failing to score the gimmies that you’d expect from this outfit. The one thing in their favour is usually after a loss they come back hot! Arsenal had a mare of a week dropping games against City and Napoli, as well as a draw with Everton. I personally see it as a good thing, because you’re going to go through tough patches and we will see what the Arsenal character is like when they like up on Christmas eve (NZ time).  With a good 8 day break in between games, Arsenal should have no excuses going into this one! My money is on an Arsenal home win, with Walcott starring for the Gunners as he continues his return from injury!

Further Predictions

Liverpool vs Cardiff – Liverpool
Crystal Palace vs Newcastle – Draw
Fulham vs Man City – Draw
Stoke City vs Aston Villa – Stoke
West Brow vs Hull City – West Brom
Swansea vs Everton - Draw

Scribblings of a Fair Weather Friend - Round 9

Murphy’s law, aye. It’s often seen in football. When an outfit is dwelling near the bottom of the table games, ol’ Murph just seems to hang around. 

His infuriating presence is often confirmed when a team can play well for weeks on end, but just cannot bag the 3 points. Missing sitters, conceding freak goals, injuries and other rare occurrences seem to multiply until there is nothing else left. Now, clearly the Phoenix aren’t playing well, but their performances really don’t warrant what’s reflected on paper. Nine games played - five losses, four draws, no wins. It’s really bleak. And it’s become difficult to prioritise a weekly viewing over life’s other ventures, especially at this busy time of year. However, as I cruised back from Glen Murray to Grafton, I managed to tune in to the commentary Jason Pine and David Chote who on Radio Sport. These guys are bloody good, and by the final whistle of Wellingtons match against the table-topping Brisbane Roar, I was almost crying out for a group hug with those guys – as obvious Nix supporters, they mirrored my frustration for a team that just can’t cross the line.

In a nutshell, what was described was another promising attacking performance, but an absolutely toothless display when it matters most – finishing. This, sadly, has been the case all season. Jeremy Brockie, last years top scorer, has been really out of sorts. Epitomised by his ’miss of the season’ which had Mr Pine literally lost for words – a parried shot has left the keeper out of the picture and Brockie couldn’t keep the loose ball under the crossbar. But you do feel bad for the guy. In fact, you feel bad for all of them. They’re putting in the shifts week in, week out – but the teams main goal scorers just aren’t firing. Paul Ifill is getting on and can’t last the 90, and you can’t rely on a substitute to score late goals every game. Stein Huysegems is technically sound and can shoot, but he’s so freakin slow that he’s never able to get himself in the right place at the right time. All these players had decent chances against Brisbane Roar, but no goals. The one goal we DID score was from the penalty spot, which came about through a blatant dive courtesy of Kenny Cunningham. No one likes to see that shit, even if you are struggling to find the net. It shows how desperate we are for goals.

Ahhh... The glory days...

To be fair, the Nix never really scored a lot of goals under Ricki Herbert either. The problem now is that we’re leaking goals at the wrong end, which was always the strength of this squad. Brisbane managed two against the Nix, the second being an absolute beauty (which is fair enough, good on ya Ivan Franjic), but the first was the bursting of a leaky pipe. A nice free kick to the far post was scrambled in past Glen Moss, but it was a ball that a commanding defender would have dealt with. Ben Sigmund fell over like an old dead tree and allowed Matt Smith to bundle in.

The final 10 minutes saw 3 excellent chances fall to the Nix, with Ifill, Hernandez and Albert Riera all holding heads in hands. This is what I’m talking about.

I don’t like to be critical, because it’s not like these guys aren’t putting the effort in. I heard an interview with Andrew Durante last week and he sounded as though he had been dragging his wounded soldiers from the battlefield. It’s not like these guys don’t want to win, they probably just need to taste some blood. Hopefully that’ll act as a line of fresh cocaine, because these guys need some motivation and deserve a break. They play Central Coast on Thursday night, so let’s hope they can get that first win under the belt. I don’t want Merrick sacked, because no doubt the next guy would just resort to that shitty long ball style. Come on lads, get the snakes off this plane and get the ball in that fucking net!!!

Phoenix 1 (C. Hernandez 47 pen) Roar 2 (M. Smith 36, I. Franjic 73).

The False 9 with Senor Spectre

The False 9

Cheers Barca - Gerar Deulofeu

It’s funny how a team’s identity can change so rapidly from one season to another. Whether it’s a new signing that lifts a club or the signing of a new manager who brings in new ideas (for better or for worse), a whole teams philosophies can be turned completely upside down. The best example of this is the new sparkle that Roberto Martinez is putting into a talented Everton side. Under David Moyes, Everton always punched above their weight and they always troubled the top sides with their tenacious hustle and sheer philosophy of ‘the harder you work, the luckier you’ll get’. You have to give credit to Moyes for that. However Martinez has bought something a bit different to Goodison Park. This team plays with a hell of a lot more attacking vigour! From a team that sat back and used to try hit teams late, Everton now play an entertaining brand of footy that has them still surprising all the big teams. With the likes of Ross Barkley, Seamus Coleman and Gerard Deulofeu, this young brigade are playing with a sense of fearlessness that hasn’t been seen from the Toffees in many years, although whether they have the stamina and mental strength to push for a CL spot come May, could be a touch too far. Everton fans were treated to a side who put in 110% every match in the last few years, however having a side with first thoughts to attack, is something completely new and puts Everton in a new and exciting era with Martinez. If I was an Everton fan I would be feeling pretty happy with the way in which the team is heading under new management. Unfortunately with both Deulofeu and Lukaku only on loan for the season from Barcelona and Chelsea respectively, if they do go on to higher honours, next season they may have to rebuild again to fill their gaps. However Martinez has always been shrewd with his loan signings after experiences with Wigan and could come up trumps like he did this year. It’s not easy taking over a new team and installing a philosophy that the whole team buys into. So far it looks like Martinez is doing it, and doing it well.

Manchester City vs Arsenal

5 points clear and riding a wave of optimism, the Gunners will be looking to put more space between them and the pack. After only taking a point at home against Everton and having to travel to Italy midweek for CL football, this is going to be the sternest test they have faced this year. Worryingly they looked a tad fatigued on the weekend and three days rest isn't a lot when you're facing a team who have scored 16 goals in their last three home games and are coming off beating the defending CL champs in their own back yard. I can’t deny feeling slightly nervous about this game, as a Gunner fanatic. With Aaron Ramsey, Mesut Ozil and Mikel Arteta having played most of the games, the likes of Theo Walcott, Thomas Rosicky and Mathieu Flamini become vital in providing the star quality when those players go through their slumps. Considering Ramsey’s start to the season, I think he can be cut some slack. The pressure may be off Arsenal as they are not expected to win this encounter, however a point or 3 here would be critical to keeping the big spenders away. With Szczesny in career best form, he will be well aware that he will have to be at his best to stop the form strike combination of  Sergio Aguero and Negredo. He will be hoping he is given adequate protection from his back 4, which has been very consistent lately, and keep City quiet for the majority of the match. This without doubt is not a task any defender would like to be in, considering City’s form at the Etihad recently.

Sergio Aguero continues to ooze class

City held on for a draw with Southampton on the weekend in a match that had a bit of everything. Back at home City will feel they have the capacity to blow Arsenal away. Their high pressing game will cause Arsenal problems, but they have to ensure they don't concede the soft goals they have of late. You can’t ask for much better preparation for this match, than beating Bayern Munich in Germany this week. The confidence gained from that worries me, as the last time a team did that they went on a streak of 28 points from a possible 30 in the league to finish the season. That side was coincidentally Arsenal last season. If City can perform a streak like that post Germany, they will be more than happy. The key is the performance of their wingers in my eyes. Ex-Arsenal midfielder Samir Nasri is in his best spell of form since leaving the Emirates and should worry Carl Jenkinson down Arsenal’s left side all game. Exploiting this weakest link in an otherwise settled back 4, will give City a major advantage. With Navas, Milner or Silva on the other side, any one of those 3 can prove difficult to handle and thus both wing backs will need to be on song. It will be interesting to see if City decides to play David Silva twice in a week after just returning from injury, or play James Milner to combat Kieran Gibbs' marauding runs from left back. With Aguero and Negredo up front, if half chances come along, they have enough quality to put Arsenal to the sword. A more expansive approach at home could be what is called for. Those who never try, will never get.

The Deciding Factor
Down the flanks. Nasri or Walcott. I believe whoever has a more positive influence on the game, will lead their side to a much needed 3 points.

Prediction:
Sadly i’m going with my head not my heart. The fatigue factor will be too much for Arsenal. City 2-1.

Tottenham vs Liverpool

Back to back hard fought wins from Spurs have suddenly released the pressure on under siege boss Andre Villas Boas. The way in which they have ground out the results was the perfect antidote to being flogged 6 zip a fortnight ago by a rampant City side at the Etihad. This resilience is exactly what AVB wanted to see and for the first time may be feeling a little more rosy about life this season. Am I saying that all their problems are solved? Not at all. They still aren’t playing the fluent, attacking football they would like, but grinding out results when not playing well is a trademark of past champions. I believe AVB is starting to understand his players more, after months tinkering with his side, especially in the midfield area. With a more settled line-up, playing the way he wants, I’m sure Spurs will keep steadily improving. Though you’d hope so after spending 100 million in the transfer window! This team was never going to gel straight away, however being in 6th place after only scoring 15 goals in 15 games, is pretty impressive. I wouldn’t count Spurs out just yet, the title may be out of their reach, but that doesn’t mean they can’t put a cat amongst the pigeons later on in the season. They will hope that starts at home against Liverpool this weekend.

Two words. Luis Suarez. My goodness what a fortnight. Seriously all I can think about was that performance against Norwich where (like I pointed out could happen) he single handily pulled off one of the greatest performances in EPL history. All 4 goals oozed nothing but class. I haven’t been that excited to see a four goal haul since Arsenal’s Russian maestro, Andre Arshavin, shelved 4 against Liverpool in the 4 all thriller. I don’t think there is much more to say about Liverpool. If Suarez plays too his potential, then Spurs have no chance of stopping the Reds this weekend. Full stop. If he has a sub par game, the likes of Victor Moses and Coutinho, who have looked better in recent weeks, will need to come to the party and pull them through. Missing Steven Gerrard (hamstring strain) will be a massive loss with his leadership and improving form in the last month, but gives a chance to the likes of Jordan Henderson and Lucas to put their hand up and show Brendan Rodgers what they are made of. With positive results being accumulated since being beaten by Arsenal, the scalp of Spurs will add to their London collection and quite potentially throw them back in to the title race, depending on Arsenal’s result with City.

The Deciding Factor:
I’ve said it once and I will say it again. Luis Suarez. Stop Suarez and Spurs will happily take the points at White Hart Lane. Give him the freedom of the land and good luck stopping the diminutive Uruguayan who will score from 30 yards or 3 with no invite needed.

Prediction:
I’m really worried for the Spurs back 4, but I think they will band together to slow Suarez down enough to reduce his impact. In saying that, they can’t seem to score heaps themselves so i’m going to say it will end up all square after an exciting 90 minutes. Draw.

Further Predictions

Cardiff vs West Brom – Draw
Chelsea vs Crystal Palce – Chelsea
Everton vs Fulham – Everton
Newcastle vs Southampton – Draw
West Ham vs Sunderland – West Ham
Hull City vs Stoke – Hull City
Aston Villa vs Man United – Draw
Norwich vs Swansea – Draw

Footy Rhubarb

Team of the Week:

Howard (Everton)

Johnson (Liverpool)    Coloccini (Newcastle)     Sakho (Liverpool)     Gibbs (Arsenal)

Sidwell (Fulham)              Fer (Norwich)                    Assaidi (Stoke)

Berbatov (Fulham)          Jerome (Palace)               Schurrle (Chelsea)

 Hero of the Week:

Assaidi or Berbatov have to go down as heroes this week after their decisive displays resulted in wins for their respective teams. Assaidi came off the bench to score a fantastic goal in the 90th minute to give Stoke a 3-2 victory over Chelsea. It’s the first time Stoke have beaten Chelsea in 10 attempts and will certainly it will haunt Mourinho for a few weeks. Assaidi joined Stoke on loan from Liverpool in August after struggling to get into Brendan Roger’s team after arriving from Herenveen the previous year. With the flair, pace, confidence and finishing he showed in the game, he most definitely would have caught Roger’s eye. He showed great pace, trickery, eye for goal, confidence, and finishing sending the Britannia Stadium wild, however I couldn’t actually see if Mark Hughes did in fact smile – why change the habit of a lifetime even if meant beating Jose’s Chelsea?

Berbatov was also the hero for Fulham during a much needed win at home to Villa. It’s been a big week for the Cottagers after the sacking of Martin Jol and the appointment of his assistant Rene Maulensteen. The former Manchester United assistant seems to have shifted the mood around the club and definitely got Berbatov into gear despite rumours the Bulgarian wants out. Berbatov was his elegant self with great touch, visions and technique that seems to give him the ability to bring the game into slow motion. He set up the opener and scored the second from the spot with typical coolness. It was a massive win for Fulham after a below average start despite such quality in their squad. It’s always important for a new manager to get off to a positive start and with the help of Berbatov, Maulensteen will hope it continues.

Nipple of the Week:

Sorry to say it and I’m sure he’ll be able to turn it around but nipple of the week is David Moyes. I still think he’ll prove to be a success and I think this season was always going to be a struggle but losing at Old Trafford two games in a row in pretty mental. You think he would have learned from the Everton defeat that his team cannot and I mean CANNOT fail to recover from that. Sir Alex’s teams always responded to bad games. It was a blow for them to lose Rooney for this game and forced to bring RVP into the starting line-up ahead of schedule but they still shouldn’t be losing these games. They simply aren’t scoring enough goals, there seems to be no link between midfield and attack. You can’t put it down to not having decent strikers because they have quality in depth but in terms of creativity in midfield they only have Kagawa with any pedigree as Cleverley is still in development as well as Januzaj. Money certainly needs to be spent in January as they can’t afford to miss out on the top four, that’s unthinkable. 

Flying Kiwis – December 9

Tommy Smith's been in good form for Ipswich lately

Flying Kiwis will keep you up to date on the endeavours of New Zealand sports folk overseas. Not the battlers, mind you, but the genuine overlooked and underappreciated superstars that for some ridiculous reason don’t get a look in on local media.

Chris Wood – Leicester City (English Championship)

Not a great week for Leicester City. Beginning atop the Championship table, they fell 2-1 to Sheffield Wednesday (Connor Wickham scored both for Weds) on, well, a Wednesday in Sheffield. Obviously things weren’t gonna go their way given that omen. Chris Wood was a 68th minute sub, and although he got himself involved, and had a couple decent chances (a blocked shot and a header straight at the keeper), he wasn’t able to turn this result around. Then on the weekend the Foxes were well beaten by Brighton, who took an early 2-0 lead, and finished things off with a late penalty after Andy King had pegged one back for Leicester. Wood, again, was a second half sub (64 mins), and he had even less of an impact (he did drag one shot wide) as Brighton were every bit as good as the result suggests. Leicester City did get a little luck with other results, but now sit third, behind first placed Burnley by a single point.

Up Next: Home to top of the table Burnley, 1.15am on Sunday (NZT)

Tommy Smith – Ipswich Town (English Championship)

It was a very contrasting week for Ipswich, who won twice to claw themselves back into the playoff hunt. Tommy Smith played all 180 minutes. The midweek win over Blackburn (3-1) wasn’t his best performance, more a solid, dependable one. Blackburn went for a one-dimensional crossing tactic, and so Smith’s CB partner, Scotsman Christophe Berra, being the more physical of the two, was clearing away headers all day. Smith meanwhile was free to hold off and mop up any rare mistakes. Berra wasn’t as flash on the weekend, as CB roles were almost reversed. Against Huddersfield, Berra gave up an early penalty, which was missed by James Vaughan, though Vaughan  appeased the visiting fans by setting up the opener 10 minutes later. Ipswich keeper Dean Gerkin (bet those nasty kids at school made fun of him…) was well on form, making a number of good saves, and Tommy Smith swept up all danger in front of him. After the break, Ipswich took their chances, scoring twice for a 2-1 win. They now sit 9th, but just 1 point off 5th place.

Up Next: Sunday morn, 4am – Nottingham Forest away

Marco Rojas – VfB Stuttgart (Bundesliga)

Stuttgart won, Rojas didn’t play. And don’t even get me started on West Ham without Winston Reid.

Up Next: Away to Wolfsburg, Sunday 6.30am (NZT)